The Next 134 Days!

So I’ve been thinking:

If I start anything new tomorrow, there are 134 days during which I can do it before July 1. I wonder what I can accomplish in 134 days!
Let me say that again: ONE HUNDRED THIRTY FOUR WHOLE DAYS!! Summer will come either way, whether I do or not...

So - for example:

If I spend 20 minutes a day on French, I will be 2,680 minutes better in French than I am now! 44 and a half hours better!! PLUS 18 hours of lessons is 62 hours better! Wow!

Or: If I spend 10 minutes a day meditating that's 22.3 hours of meditation bliss and all that it brings.
If I spend 30 minutes a day on piano, I will be 4020 minutes better a pianist! 67 hours better! PLUS a couple of really good lessons = 70 hours better! Wowie!

If I spend 30 minutes a day on PD, I will have grown 4020 minutes more as a developed person – actually more - ‘cause it grows on itself, so it compounds!

If I spend an average of 30 minutes a day working out, I will be 15.3 pounds lower without changing a thing in my eating!
Not to mention sizes and inches.
Not to mention emotional benefits.

If I reign in my eating with a good food plan too, I will be lighter still!

And, if I spend just one little dollar a day less, I will have money for a new bathing suit in the end of June!

**
You know what, I think I’m going to do all of that! If I just devote 5:30 – 7:30 pm every day, there it is, done!

***
What would ~you~ like to accomplish by July 1?
I really really *really* r*E*a*L*l*Y want to know my friends’ thoughts about this!
: )
I hope some people will comment! I would LOVE to know! 

Days 4 and 5 of Clean Eating, and After

Oh my GOSH!

Day 4 Thursday

I am AMAZED at how good I feel!

And how I looked forward to my oatmeal this morning!

REAL FOOD CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Despite tremendous stresses, I did not eat a bit of junky food stuffs.

Night – when awakened (as always do) felt so GOOD! Felt healthy and energetic and sort of – clean inside – and went right back to sleep. 

Day 5 Friday

I had a regular organic bosc pear this morning. I’ve had them a million times. This was same as days ago. Ordinary ripeness, same store, same batch. It tasted as sweet as candy used to taste! That HAS TO BE from the clean eating all week!

Oh yeah, and did I mention? I’m down 4 ½ pounds since Monday morning!

SATURDAY: DOWN SEVEN POUNDS THIS AM SINCE MONDAY AM!!!!!

--

Changes I’ve Made!

Lemon water first thing every morning

Down to 1 coffee most days instead of 2 (coffee, and ¼ of a white potato being the only things not on the list)

Eating more but losing weight! HUGE!

Liking oatmeal, first time ever!

Adding to my life more nuts and more veggies

Not obsessing and stressing over foods!!!! HUGE!

Clean Eating

Wow. I joined a Clean Eating group through my coach.
-- That only means that it is a facebook page for 5 days where we support each other with eating more cleanly, which, when I really look at it would be the just about identical to the 21 Day Fix plan if I were to really follow it lol! --
Day 1 I felt great despite first day back from vaca and long work day.
Day 2 I had so many stressors! Work, money, mother, mother's aides - a LOT in one day. But had an AWARENESS of this really clean feeling - in my easy breathing and my stomach... and despite temptation, just didn't want to eat anything crappy or not really clean!
Day 3 - this morning - after doing Pilates Fix yesterday - my muscles feel so good. And I still love this feeling inside! I want MORE of this!

And - instead of hating on myself for not having done it sooner, I'm just so grateful for it now!

" So much has been given to me I have not time to ponder over that which has been denied " ~ Helen Keller

Great Change Omg So Grateful

Stopped what I'm doing ~right now~ because
am getting house in best order I can
for ME!!!!!!
NOT for him
or anyone else
for ME
First time EVER
So many changes
SO grateful!!!!!!!

Changes

Wow
I just took one of those silly online quizzes but I enjoy them - it asked
You've just won the lottery. What do you do?
I didn't pick save it. I picked: go on a safari.
I don't know what I'd *really* do, and I don't even play the lottery, but it was a beautiful moment to think, I won't die of starvation - I'll never be rich but I'll manage - I would go live and see mother earth and nature!!!!!!
This is a CHANGE.
And I am happy about it.

PS
3 more turds today. Mouse has not gone. Getting have a heart trap. Will give that a try first... Mouse is not my favorite kind of mother nature ... not in my house anyway!

Some Things I’ve Learned They Might Help YOU

1.      Stay in a state of gratitude,. No matter what, there is always – ALWAYS – much for which to be grateful

2.      Get out of the house. It is important, no matter how introverted or even shy (they are two different things) to get out amongst people

3.      And into the light of day too

4.      See dr. for wellness checks. That’s how I found Vitamin D deficiency and little carotid problem (though very small thank God) and pre-diabetes – all of which I can do something about! (And am).

5.      Eat some very simple, basic foods. Like fresh fruit. Salad. Whole grain pasta (because white pasta sets off some jitteriness in me – otherwise I guess that would be fine). Roasted potatoes. Potato soup. Broth with a sprinkle of breadcrumbs and vegan Parmesan cheese. Plain water. Seltzer. Veggies veggies veggies. I don’t like them plain, but I like them steamed and then a little Earth Balance and salt; I like them lightly sautéed, and I like them mixed into things.

6.      The importance of REAL GREENS in my life! Daily!! I’m talking about besides salad, too. Must be leafy greens like spinach, collards, chards and kale, or broccoli. Once a week or less can be green beans instead.

7.      The importance of staying away from junk and from white flours. Except for whatever reason I can still have a little good pane de casa or a couple o breadsticks. in a restaurant.

8.      More water. More. Water.

9.      Keeping up with my hair coloring makes a big difference in: how I look, how I feel, and how others treat me. These are important to ME.

10.   Walking has felt great to me throughout my whole life. Do it.

11.   To begin, begin. THIS may be THE most important – at least at this moment.

12.   I exist. It is ok. It is good. I am good enough. – I guess THIS is the most important.

13.   *I own my house!  I paid for it. It is MINE. I will make it nicer by summer, a little EACH week – a very little EACH day! (And I will post pics in summer, too!)

14.   I will not date until summer

15.   ***That – I am who I am. And – I have the troubles I have. And – so I must NOT criticize and hate myself. Especially to the point where I then don’t begin and instead just sit around and get depressed. Just APPRECIATE what do in each day. Not just do what can, but just APPRECIATE what do each day.

16.   And – things really do get better that way.

Ok.

The Changes

1. Brush 2 minutes 2x daily and floss once daily.
2. Walk 30 minutes a day no matter what.
3. Eat more vegetables and nuts and beans or lentils.
4. Do whatever the fuck feels good! (Hurtful things would not feel good so I'm not in danger that way).  That means walk or read or laugh or even watch dumb tv.
5. Help others a bit more.
6. Take my daily supplements.
7. Keep writing my book. Not about publishing, about getting it out.
8. Meditate daily. Easy on work days. Harder on not-work days. Must do. Even just for couple of minutes.
9. More nature. How - not sure yet. The walking is even a start.
10. Even 10 minutes a day of concentrated bird time.
11. and one fruit a day. (for now)

And to CONSIDER:
Yoga at home with computer. I don't like the studios. But I might like the yoga.

Changes

So I don't want to need OA or CoDA.
And I don't want any of this situation with hubby.
And I don't want my weaknesses.

But they all exist.
And I *have* been going to OA and am currently working Step Eight with a sponsor.
And I *have* been going to CoDA and am currently working Step Two with a sponsor.

And despite how bad it still is and how bad I still feel, here are some changes in the last year and a half (of OA; CoDA is much more recent).

*Although I wake up with the pit in my stomach, a few days recently I haven't, or it hasn't been as deep.
*I am able to get out of it more quickly.
*I more naturally turn to prayer throughout the day.
*I shower and look and smell nice every day, hair, a little makeup, clothes, shoes.
*I am eating better.
*I've lost a few pounds.
*I move more and have even been to the gym a bunch.
*I have come to love driving on highways. Never did before. It was never a problem, except for about 2 1/2 months of PTSS after an accident, but I never loved it. Always would just rather be there than get there. Now I really enjoy it. Find it freeing. Finally understand how others, like J feel that way.
*My phobias are lesser.
*I am sometimes - some little times - okay alone.
***I do not want to kill myself or die. I want to take care of myself.
*I have some hope for my future.
*I am not looking to defend myself to J, or to force him into anything. But to accept his rights as a human being God made too.

These are big changes, and I thought I should document them here.