I just became a beachbody coach! For real. It took me 5 months because I didn't want to do it for just the discount (although some people do and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that). I wanted to have enough to really *give* - AND - to not take away from *self* either!
So I am in.
And everyone's response? Like this: "Really? You're so helpful all the time! I always thought you WERE already!"
Cool.
I am so grateful for June 21, the day I first started with 21 Day Fix. I am this weekend doing the 3 Day Refresh. I have plans for programs (a lot from Fix program(s), yes 'cause I love it) through summer!
I'm excited.
I feel new.
:)
And -
right after that, just now, J happened to call. Needed favor I am happy to do. It is a one-time help with something he does EVERY WEEK all these years for my mother! And - he wants to get together next weekend.
So:
Doing the Refresh and liking it so far
Will see M.A. for a bit
Lots IM with A and with L already
Will see mother
*Am now a coach. All on my own. No J, no guy, no necessity - just my OWN personal interest! Really have a new LIFE!
And have a date for next weekend!
What a day!
PS Of course still sending tons of loving thoughts and vibes to Thich Nhat Hanh. And someone mentioned it online and I hadn't thought of it, but why not send them to EVERYONE who'd in intensive care! So I am!
Showing posts with label Grats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grats. Show all posts
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Grat
I have had – an experience.
It was Thursday night.
I gave Open House. And felt
VERY bad afterward.
Usually this does not happen
to me.
I was standing in the room
with about 40 adults. Two men were okish. EVERYONE ELSE was beautiful. Every
man and every woman. Gorgeous. And healthy
And married
And parents
And rich.
And like in their 30’s.
I. Felt. Like. Shit.
I felt fat and ugly and old.
I came home to my little tiny
house in the neighborhood that’s changing, and house needing so much work, and
I felt SO bad.
Stayed up til 12:30 (WAY too
late for me!). Feeling VERY bad.
Usually I don’t have that
problem of comparing that way.
This was not good.
But
And here are the gratitudes
By the next day, I had more
energy than I’ve EVER had after Open House. And I attribute that to exercise
and Shakeology.
And I felt better.
By yesterday after school, and
it’s gone now but I think I can remember it: I felt like, “Who needs J? He
wants me or now. I’m not even sure I want him. I could have a better life.”
That is HUGE for me!
HUGE!!
I am so happy to have felt
that!
I actually was in the car and
felt:
Like
A
PERSON!
I never really did.
Now
I
Um
Do.
Wow
SO grateful for that!
Doing something now that takes
me out of comfort zone and will tell about it tomorrow.
Yay
Thank you thank you thank
you!!!!!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Grats
I am grateful:
1. Doing the three things for my mother yesterday
2. L.
3. Getting my kitchen cleaned up yesterday
4. And my lr
5. and dr
6. and sunroom
7. Getting more done for my London trip
8. Cleaning out my car! At long last!
9. God
10. EJ
11. Thich Nhat Hahn soon!
12. I can do this (London). I can.
13. And try not to criticize myself if I don’t do the theater or…
14. But just enjoy myself
15. And learn stuff to bring back to my district!
16. Coffee
17. Emergency-C
18. Claritan
19. Multi-vitamin
20. Lutein
21. Co-Q10
22. Vitamin D
23. Calcium
24. And magnesium
25. Vitamin Cs!
26. Jo, my new girlfriend through L.
27. The amazing talk we had last night, which straightened out the whole Jo thing once and for all.
28. Texting
29. I’m so glad I got the iPhone. Finally: )
30. So many things like this, are luxuries. And I get to have them.
31. The French language.
32. And that I’m taking lessons.
33. My teacher, A.
34. Honest people
35. My piano. MY piano. That I earned, and pay for, and picked out, and have.
36. My lessons when I take them.
37. That I have been able to pay my therapist.
38. That phone therapist and all he has done for me.
39. That I want to live!
40. That I will be with L. today.
41. And some of his family members later too!
42. That I was available for dear M in her suffering this morning.
43. And will continue to be.
44. So much birdsong lately.
45. My forsythia is blooming! Yay!
46. MA
47. ML
48. S
49. St
50. O
51. M
52. Jo
53. Other Jo
54. Ma
55. That I took my mother to dinner last night.
56. And I *really * didn’t want to. But it was good for her! Especially with her nervousness about me and England.
57. And how she is trying to hide her nervousness about me and England.
58. That *I * wound up having a nice time anyway.
59. That I am so excited to see L. today
60. That M did all that school paper work
61. And I sent the group e-mail after all.
62. And all is pretty much ready to do Monday.
63. And because of London, it will be a shorter work week for me!
64. Humor
65. Movies
66. Sitcoms
67. M’s AMAZING help yesterday regarding my L. “problem” though it was probably imagined. I do NOT want to sabotage this relationship!!!
68. His kisses!
69. And I shall have them soon!
70. Beautiful cards
71. The amazing, beautiful thank you card I got from my principal for the VERY SPECIAL gift I gave her when she was suffering after her surgery. I’m SO happy I did that!
72. That T. is helping me!
73. Maybe I will give her the very special other present.
74. That my passport holder will come Monday: ) !
75. That I cleaned out a kitchen drawer and bought 6 organic sulphates-free things for L, and put them in it. So when he comes her on April 7th, he’ll have something comfy if he gets puckish. Just like he has always tried to make me comfy there.
76. That he’s such a health nut.
77. It influences me positively
78. AND it takes care of his precious self.
79. That doggie, although I miss her so much, is probably happy with J.
80. That I DO want her happy.
81. That I have good hair
82. And general health! What a priceless gift!
83. And the ability to have orgasms. Yay.
84. My car
85. Electricity
86. Freedom.
87. That I had the courage to file for divorce. I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believed I could do that.
88. Let alone do that and be all right.
89. My Oleg Cassini little jacket (although it was really cheap at a discount place, and maybe even has a defect but if so I don’t see it).
90. Shoes
91. Boots
92. A hat
93. Sweaters
94. Mutuality.
95. As in my friendship with M
96. And my lovership with L
97. That maybe soon I can be fully honest with my mother. That would be so nice. For both of us. If she can do it…
98. Books. Good books.
99. And books that are not necessarily so good, but that I enjoy.
100. Magazines too. Although except for Prevention and my beloved Vegetarian Times, I might not be needing them anymore.
101. Every loving act any person has ever taken in this world.
1. Doing the three things for my mother yesterday
2. L.
3. Getting my kitchen cleaned up yesterday
4. And my lr
5. and dr
6. and sunroom
7. Getting more done for my London trip
8. Cleaning out my car! At long last!
9. God
10. EJ
11. Thich Nhat Hahn soon!
12. I can do this (London). I can.
13. And try not to criticize myself if I don’t do the theater or…
14. But just enjoy myself
15. And learn stuff to bring back to my district!
16. Coffee
17. Emergency-C
18. Claritan
19. Multi-vitamin
20. Lutein
21. Co-Q10
22. Vitamin D
23. Calcium
24. And magnesium
25. Vitamin Cs!
26. Jo, my new girlfriend through L.
27. The amazing talk we had last night, which straightened out the whole Jo thing once and for all.
28. Texting
29. I’m so glad I got the iPhone. Finally: )
30. So many things like this, are luxuries. And I get to have them.
31. The French language.
32. And that I’m taking lessons.
33. My teacher, A.
34. Honest people
35. My piano. MY piano. That I earned, and pay for, and picked out, and have.
36. My lessons when I take them.
37. That I have been able to pay my therapist.
38. That phone therapist and all he has done for me.
39. That I want to live!
40. That I will be with L. today.
41. And some of his family members later too!
42. That I was available for dear M in her suffering this morning.
43. And will continue to be.
44. So much birdsong lately.
45. My forsythia is blooming! Yay!
46. MA
47. ML
48. S
49. St
50. O
51. M
52. Jo
53. Other Jo
54. Ma
55. That I took my mother to dinner last night.
56. And I *really * didn’t want to. But it was good for her! Especially with her nervousness about me and England.
57. And how she is trying to hide her nervousness about me and England.
58. That *I * wound up having a nice time anyway.
59. That I am so excited to see L. today
60. That M did all that school paper work
61. And I sent the group e-mail after all.
62. And all is pretty much ready to do Monday.
63. And because of London, it will be a shorter work week for me!
64. Humor
65. Movies
66. Sitcoms
67. M’s AMAZING help yesterday regarding my L. “problem” though it was probably imagined. I do NOT want to sabotage this relationship!!!
68. His kisses!
69. And I shall have them soon!
70. Beautiful cards
71. The amazing, beautiful thank you card I got from my principal for the VERY SPECIAL gift I gave her when she was suffering after her surgery. I’m SO happy I did that!
72. That T. is helping me!
73. Maybe I will give her the very special other present.
74. That my passport holder will come Monday: ) !
75. That I cleaned out a kitchen drawer and bought 6 organic sulphates-free things for L, and put them in it. So when he comes her on April 7th, he’ll have something comfy if he gets puckish. Just like he has always tried to make me comfy there.
76. That he’s such a health nut.
77. It influences me positively
78. AND it takes care of his precious self.
79. That doggie, although I miss her so much, is probably happy with J.
80. That I DO want her happy.
81. That I have good hair
82. And general health! What a priceless gift!
83. And the ability to have orgasms. Yay.
84. My car
85. Electricity
86. Freedom.
87. That I had the courage to file for divorce. I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believed I could do that.
88. Let alone do that and be all right.
89. My Oleg Cassini little jacket (although it was really cheap at a discount place, and maybe even has a defect but if so I don’t see it).
90. Shoes
91. Boots
92. A hat
93. Sweaters
94. Mutuality.
95. As in my friendship with M
96. And my lovership with L
97. That maybe soon I can be fully honest with my mother. That would be so nice. For both of us. If she can do it…
98. Books. Good books.
99. And books that are not necessarily so good, but that I enjoy.
100. Magazines too. Although except for Prevention and my beloved Vegetarian Times, I might not be needing them anymore.
101. Every loving act any person has ever taken in this world.
Friday, March 23, 2012
My 100 Gratitudes Today
I am grateful:
1. Nightgowns
2. L.
3. Sponsor
4. That I just spoke with sponsor
5. And figured out, that although I *do not want to do my program in London! * I have to
6. In fact, the not wanting to do it is evidence of the importance of/the need for me doing it
7. And – it’s like this: will I not have the disorder in London? Duh!
8. Those sweet beers that taste to me like fruity wine.
9. And maybe I’ll get a few and leave them at L’s to enjoy while he drinks India Pale Ale this season
10. Or next! Wow!
11. Gonna get all done today that I must. Will. Yes.
12. Will do for my mother today, as cannot next weekend
13. So glad will be with L tomorrow
14. And out to dinner with his family members tomorrow evening!
15. And sleeping over tomorrow night – oh bliss
16. Had lovely talk with M this am
17. And with L – first ever first thing in the morning (except the two times irl when I stayed over)
18. And last night, on phone, he was SO romantic! Omg!
19. DOING grats.
20. Also did 113 about him, as said I would after Sun. Maybe should post them too.
21. French lessons! I love my French lessons!
22. Talked with O. yesterday. Told each other we love each other. So nice.
23. And both of us are in a kind of good place.
24. Little Ji, made an amazing picture – I feel like I’ve already said this in grats but maybe not? She is quite an artist and it may wind up helping to save her (autistic)!
25. And it, that picture, became the source of our first real conversation, and initiated by her no less! I’ve waiting through the silent years a long time, she being just a month under 7 ½ years old.
26. I asked M, her mother, to take a photo of it so I could print that photo at school, in color, and bring home and frame and put up.
27. M said, “I’ll just bring you the picture.”
28. “No!” I said. It’s her favorite she’s ever made. You CAN’T take it!”
29. So M asked her if she could just take it to school for one day to make a copy for me.
30. “NO! IT’S MINE!” yelled Ji. “Just for one day, Honey.” I’ll bring it back.” “NO! IT’S MINE!” “Okay.”
31. ***Later, at bedtime, Ji, of her own violation, brought the picture in to M and said, “Here. Give this to Auntie Lynn. And tell her I love her.”
32. OMG! I am going to buy a frame, and hang it *in my living room! *
33. Kisses. At long last, kisses. And the best ones I’ve ever had no less.
34. No longer do I feel, “The thought of kissing anyone other than J is vomitous.”
35. In fact, now I feel, “The thought of kissing J. is vomitous.”
36. My sponsor told me this morning that I sound so normal and sane.
37. And that is after TWO coffees!
38. And M. had said earlier, like as soon as I’d picked up the phone, “Oh. You sound so calm.” Wonderful!
39. A few more days til London!!!! I’m SO excited!!!!
40. The people at work have NOT been gossiping about me. I’m so glad. Years ago it was so different. Even when I needed – necessary – needed surgery, and planned it as much as possible to use as much vacation time as I could, they gossiped! They used to gossip about everything. Bad. But the place has changed! Yay!
41. I’m grateful that I love my principal.
42. And my superintendent of schools.
43. And my students, of course.
44. And that L. is such an amazing teacher! The world needs that. Needs him.
45. And that I was able to tell the sort of higher up but friend with whom I was supposed to meet after school yesterday, that having filed for divorce the evening before, I was fine and the kids were fine and I *was * doing right by them, but that as the day went on, I was feeling more and more like I was trying to breathe through thick pea soup, and could we meet Monday instead.!
46. And she said yes. Phew.
47. And just the fact that *I filed for divorce. * Wow.
48. It’s certainly a mixed bag. I mean, I would have bet my – anything – that I could *NEVER * divorce him. And here *I * filed! And it hurts. It’s mixed up inside. But mostly it’s good. And I’m so grateful for that.
49. I’m so grateful that I had the courage to do it.
50. And a great lawyer to help me.
51. And that it’s not that I wanted this situation, by any means. But he did. And so it happened TO me. But at least, after moving through these what-I-now-see-as-stages-of-grief, I am able to accept. AND MAKE WONDERFUL out of it.
52. That I KNOW I am better off now!
53. This: That a college student in one of his classes said this to L. The class said, can’t we take a break and hear about your weekend with Lynn? That’s cute.
54. He knows they are struggling with this higher level of geometry, so he indulged for a moment. He said, “Well, I saw Lynn this weekend, and she is lovely and we had a very nice time.”
55. And a girl in the class actually said, “Did she cover your area?”
56. And he replied, “Did you mean that as a double entendre?”
57. And she said, “Yes but you didn’t fall for the trapezoid.” Cute. (Of course he would not have been inappropriate. So this ended up cutely: )
58. My legs. That they move.
59. And that they’re kind of pretty anyway.
60. That I am walking about more with a feeling that I’m an attractive woman. That’s so wonderful! I remember when I always knew it. And then, haven’t felt it even remotely for SO LONG.
61. And to feel it again, thanks to L and to all my hard work, is so wonderful.
62. I have a plan for my schedule after London, that I THINK might actually work.
63. And then soon it will be summer!
64. And I will be off from work.
65. I miss doggie SO MUCH. But at least I know she’s happy there.
66. Therapist.
67. Phone therapist, with whom I STILL have that 30 minute phone call coming. I think I shall take it upon my return from London.
68. Was that *I * who was just able to say that?!
69. The help and support and love I have received here!
70. Weekend!
71. Broccoli rabe
72. Broccoli
73. Spinach
74. Collards
75. Kale salad!
76. Mixed baby greens salad
77. The way I am eating better lately
78. And losing weight
79. God in my life.
80. Buddha
81. Thich Nhat Hahn
82. M bought me a suitcase!
83. And gave me a carry-on bag!
84. To keep!
85. And is being so supportive about this whole trip!
86. I was able to play with her other little one, Je, the other night.
87. And we shared music together.
88. And she was happy
89. And so was I.
90. Wonderful dark chocolate the other day.
91. That I have this job.
92. That I have my car.
93. That I am capable of cleaning. I don’t like doing it. I avoid it. I don’t WANT to do it. But I am so grateful that I CAN. If I were disabled to the point that I couldn’t, I would feel that I’d “give anything” just to function again.
94. The truth is, J was probably NEVER sure about me. And it’s time that I face that now. And be okay with it.
95. That I DON’T want to kill myself.
96. And I don’t want to die.
97. I do want to live. I want to live.
98. And to enjoy this day.
99. Prayer
100. Reiki
101. Spirituality
1. Nightgowns
2. L.
3. Sponsor
4. That I just spoke with sponsor
5. And figured out, that although I *do not want to do my program in London! * I have to
6. In fact, the not wanting to do it is evidence of the importance of/the need for me doing it
7. And – it’s like this: will I not have the disorder in London? Duh!
8. Those sweet beers that taste to me like fruity wine.
9. And maybe I’ll get a few and leave them at L’s to enjoy while he drinks India Pale Ale this season
10. Or next! Wow!
11. Gonna get all done today that I must. Will. Yes.
12. Will do for my mother today, as cannot next weekend
13. So glad will be with L tomorrow
14. And out to dinner with his family members tomorrow evening!
15. And sleeping over tomorrow night – oh bliss
16. Had lovely talk with M this am
17. And with L – first ever first thing in the morning (except the two times irl when I stayed over)
18. And last night, on phone, he was SO romantic! Omg!
19. DOING grats.
20. Also did 113 about him, as said I would after Sun. Maybe should post them too.
21. French lessons! I love my French lessons!
22. Talked with O. yesterday. Told each other we love each other. So nice.
23. And both of us are in a kind of good place.
24. Little Ji, made an amazing picture – I feel like I’ve already said this in grats but maybe not? She is quite an artist and it may wind up helping to save her (autistic)!
25. And it, that picture, became the source of our first real conversation, and initiated by her no less! I’ve waiting through the silent years a long time, she being just a month under 7 ½ years old.
26. I asked M, her mother, to take a photo of it so I could print that photo at school, in color, and bring home and frame and put up.
27. M said, “I’ll just bring you the picture.”
28. “No!” I said. It’s her favorite she’s ever made. You CAN’T take it!”
29. So M asked her if she could just take it to school for one day to make a copy for me.
30. “NO! IT’S MINE!” yelled Ji. “Just for one day, Honey.” I’ll bring it back.” “NO! IT’S MINE!” “Okay.”
31. ***Later, at bedtime, Ji, of her own violation, brought the picture in to M and said, “Here. Give this to Auntie Lynn. And tell her I love her.”
32. OMG! I am going to buy a frame, and hang it *in my living room! *
33. Kisses. At long last, kisses. And the best ones I’ve ever had no less.
34. No longer do I feel, “The thought of kissing anyone other than J is vomitous.”
35. In fact, now I feel, “The thought of kissing J. is vomitous.”
36. My sponsor told me this morning that I sound so normal and sane.
37. And that is after TWO coffees!
38. And M. had said earlier, like as soon as I’d picked up the phone, “Oh. You sound so calm.” Wonderful!
39. A few more days til London!!!! I’m SO excited!!!!
40. The people at work have NOT been gossiping about me. I’m so glad. Years ago it was so different. Even when I needed – necessary – needed surgery, and planned it as much as possible to use as much vacation time as I could, they gossiped! They used to gossip about everything. Bad. But the place has changed! Yay!
41. I’m grateful that I love my principal.
42. And my superintendent of schools.
43. And my students, of course.
44. And that L. is such an amazing teacher! The world needs that. Needs him.
45. And that I was able to tell the sort of higher up but friend with whom I was supposed to meet after school yesterday, that having filed for divorce the evening before, I was fine and the kids were fine and I *was * doing right by them, but that as the day went on, I was feeling more and more like I was trying to breathe through thick pea soup, and could we meet Monday instead.!
46. And she said yes. Phew.
47. And just the fact that *I filed for divorce. * Wow.
48. It’s certainly a mixed bag. I mean, I would have bet my – anything – that I could *NEVER * divorce him. And here *I * filed! And it hurts. It’s mixed up inside. But mostly it’s good. And I’m so grateful for that.
49. I’m so grateful that I had the courage to do it.
50. And a great lawyer to help me.
51. And that it’s not that I wanted this situation, by any means. But he did. And so it happened TO me. But at least, after moving through these what-I-now-see-as-stages-of-grief, I am able to accept. AND MAKE WONDERFUL out of it.
52. That I KNOW I am better off now!
53. This: That a college student in one of his classes said this to L. The class said, can’t we take a break and hear about your weekend with Lynn? That’s cute.
54. He knows they are struggling with this higher level of geometry, so he indulged for a moment. He said, “Well, I saw Lynn this weekend, and she is lovely and we had a very nice time.”
55. And a girl in the class actually said, “Did she cover your area?”
56. And he replied, “Did you mean that as a double entendre?”
57. And she said, “Yes but you didn’t fall for the trapezoid.” Cute. (Of course he would not have been inappropriate. So this ended up cutely: )
58. My legs. That they move.
59. And that they’re kind of pretty anyway.
60. That I am walking about more with a feeling that I’m an attractive woman. That’s so wonderful! I remember when I always knew it. And then, haven’t felt it even remotely for SO LONG.
61. And to feel it again, thanks to L and to all my hard work, is so wonderful.
62. I have a plan for my schedule after London, that I THINK might actually work.
63. And then soon it will be summer!
64. And I will be off from work.
65. I miss doggie SO MUCH. But at least I know she’s happy there.
66. Therapist.
67. Phone therapist, with whom I STILL have that 30 minute phone call coming. I think I shall take it upon my return from London.
68. Was that *I * who was just able to say that?!
69. The help and support and love I have received here!
70. Weekend!
71. Broccoli rabe
72. Broccoli
73. Spinach
74. Collards
75. Kale salad!
76. Mixed baby greens salad
77. The way I am eating better lately
78. And losing weight
79. God in my life.
80. Buddha
81. Thich Nhat Hahn
82. M bought me a suitcase!
83. And gave me a carry-on bag!
84. To keep!
85. And is being so supportive about this whole trip!
86. I was able to play with her other little one, Je, the other night.
87. And we shared music together.
88. And she was happy
89. And so was I.
90. Wonderful dark chocolate the other day.
91. That I have this job.
92. That I have my car.
93. That I am capable of cleaning. I don’t like doing it. I avoid it. I don’t WANT to do it. But I am so grateful that I CAN. If I were disabled to the point that I couldn’t, I would feel that I’d “give anything” just to function again.
94. The truth is, J was probably NEVER sure about me. And it’s time that I face that now. And be okay with it.
95. That I DON’T want to kill myself.
96. And I don’t want to die.
97. I do want to live. I want to live.
98. And to enjoy this day.
99. Prayer
100. Reiki
101. Spirituality
Friday, March 9, 2012
Grats
I am grateful:
1. Life
2. Hope
3. Breath
4. Eyesight
5. Hearing
6. Speech
7. L.
8. My dr. saying that’s just fine.
9. B’day tomorrow
10. I think I will get 2 presents and 1 card today at work!
11. Tomorrow I will see 3 friends, L, S, and J.
12. Today I will drop off doggie, and pray for the best.
13. I’m glad I got to sleep with her these nights.
14. Tomorrow, I’ll take my mother to the bank and shopping.
15. Then I’ll sneak some girlie time. A pedicure and free (present) massage, I believe: )
16. Then I’ll take a car, paid for by L, to the city for our meeting. Nice.
17. And Sunday I shall clean up around here.
18. And exercise.
19. And feel great.
20. As I do today.
21. Because there is a God.
22. And God, whomever or whatever this spirit is, helps us.
23. I’m so happy I tap in.
24. And that L has given permission for me to send Reiki energy from afar (As I’ve said before, you never give Reiki energy to *anyone * without their permission, or to any child without their parent’s permission!). So I’m glad I have his permission.
25. And maybe in person too. (I’m certified Level II)
26. I am so very very grateful for my spirituality.
27. And for Buddha
28. And that last year, M bought me that discreet but lovely little necklace with Buddha on it
29. And that I’ve been wearing it every day now.
30. And that a Korean mother yesterday noticed it before she even fully sat down (conferences).
31. And later sent me a link about a Buddhist leader/group from Korea (her home country, where she grew up), who comes here. SO nice!
32. I just looked at it and I love it. Here it is for you: http://www.bulkwangzen.org/en/
33. I thanked her so much, of course.
34. And then I sent her mine, which she’d expressed an interest in seeing: plumvillage.org
35. And this is one of the reasons I love working where I’m working.
36. Despite some of the obnoxious conferences, including the one I’m likely to have this morning.
37. My student, E. And his fine example of happiness.
38. And of acceptance.
39. Sky-watch
40. This site: http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/visible-planets-tonight-mars-jupiter-venus-saturn-mercury
41. Thich Nhat Hahn
42. I am so exhausted! It’s bad! BUT – I will be treated as a birthday girl today!
43. Less coffee in mornings now, I think.
44. = less jittery.
45. Cabbage
46. Cabbage salad from my hfs
47. M. losing weight
48. And feeling better about herself
49. And looking adorable.
50. Me eating better too.
51. I’m grateful for every single time I take care of myself.
52. I’m grateful for brushing my teeth.
53. And flossing.
54. And eating vegetables.
55. And whole grains
56. And protein
57. And for drinking water
58. And for driving carefully.
59. The phrase in today’s The Language of Letting Go: “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t.”
60. OA
61. CoDa
62. Friends
63. Laughter
64. Trying not to lose myself into L., but to continue on with all the facets of my life, as my dr. has said.
65. London soon!
66. French lessons ongoing!
67. Piano!
68. Exercise!
69. Now and then a glass of wine in beautiful stemware!
70. Safety. Every day I’ve had it.
71. Today’s possibly-obnoxious conference will be over a few hours from now.
72. Good substitute teachers.
73. Two days off for my trip at month’s end
74. My mother’s best friend is SO good for her!
75. As is my mother for the friend.
76. Every time I’ve looked at beautiful J’s beautiful face
77. That I know more about relationships now
78. And about what’s important
79. And about myself
80. Good, light makeup
81. Smiles. Every one I give; every one I get
82. Theater. That I used to do theater.
83. Charms. As in, for charm bracelet.
84. Gold
85. Diamond
86. Integrity.
87. Affirmations
88. My hair
89. My lips
90. My teeth
91. My gums
92. That deep breath. First of the day.
93. The river stones in the basket on my desk.
94. Art books, as in pages of like canvases on which to paint.
95. Organization, every time I’ve done it.
96. Picking up Li yesterday and driving her to school.
97. Maybe (free with gift card) lunch from vegan raw foods place today.
98. My online prayer community
99. The Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me, and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
100. Happiness. Every minute of it.
1. Life
2. Hope
3. Breath
4. Eyesight
5. Hearing
6. Speech
7. L.
8. My dr. saying that’s just fine.
9. B’day tomorrow
10. I think I will get 2 presents and 1 card today at work!
11. Tomorrow I will see 3 friends, L, S, and J.
12. Today I will drop off doggie, and pray for the best.
13. I’m glad I got to sleep with her these nights.
14. Tomorrow, I’ll take my mother to the bank and shopping.
15. Then I’ll sneak some girlie time. A pedicure and free (present) massage, I believe: )
16. Then I’ll take a car, paid for by L, to the city for our meeting. Nice.
17. And Sunday I shall clean up around here.
18. And exercise.
19. And feel great.
20. As I do today.
21. Because there is a God.
22. And God, whomever or whatever this spirit is, helps us.
23. I’m so happy I tap in.
24. And that L has given permission for me to send Reiki energy from afar (As I’ve said before, you never give Reiki energy to *anyone * without their permission, or to any child without their parent’s permission!). So I’m glad I have his permission.
25. And maybe in person too. (I’m certified Level II)
26. I am so very very grateful for my spirituality.
27. And for Buddha
28. And that last year, M bought me that discreet but lovely little necklace with Buddha on it
29. And that I’ve been wearing it every day now.
30. And that a Korean mother yesterday noticed it before she even fully sat down (conferences).
31. And later sent me a link about a Buddhist leader/group from Korea (her home country, where she grew up), who comes here. SO nice!
32. I just looked at it and I love it. Here it is for you: http://www.bulkwangzen.org/en/
33. I thanked her so much, of course.
34. And then I sent her mine, which she’d expressed an interest in seeing: plumvillage.org
35. And this is one of the reasons I love working where I’m working.
36. Despite some of the obnoxious conferences, including the one I’m likely to have this morning.
37. My student, E. And his fine example of happiness.
38. And of acceptance.
39. Sky-watch
40. This site: http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/visible-planets-tonight-mars-jupiter-venus-saturn-mercury
41. Thich Nhat Hahn
42. I am so exhausted! It’s bad! BUT – I will be treated as a birthday girl today!
43. Less coffee in mornings now, I think.
44. = less jittery.
45. Cabbage
46. Cabbage salad from my hfs
47. M. losing weight
48. And feeling better about herself
49. And looking adorable.
50. Me eating better too.
51. I’m grateful for every single time I take care of myself.
52. I’m grateful for brushing my teeth.
53. And flossing.
54. And eating vegetables.
55. And whole grains
56. And protein
57. And for drinking water
58. And for driving carefully.
59. The phrase in today’s The Language of Letting Go: “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t.”
60. OA
61. CoDa
62. Friends
63. Laughter
64. Trying not to lose myself into L., but to continue on with all the facets of my life, as my dr. has said.
65. London soon!
66. French lessons ongoing!
67. Piano!
68. Exercise!
69. Now and then a glass of wine in beautiful stemware!
70. Safety. Every day I’ve had it.
71. Today’s possibly-obnoxious conference will be over a few hours from now.
72. Good substitute teachers.
73. Two days off for my trip at month’s end
74. My mother’s best friend is SO good for her!
75. As is my mother for the friend.
76. Every time I’ve looked at beautiful J’s beautiful face
77. That I know more about relationships now
78. And about what’s important
79. And about myself
80. Good, light makeup
81. Smiles. Every one I give; every one I get
82. Theater. That I used to do theater.
83. Charms. As in, for charm bracelet.
84. Gold
85. Diamond
86. Integrity.
87. Affirmations
88. My hair
89. My lips
90. My teeth
91. My gums
92. That deep breath. First of the day.
93. The river stones in the basket on my desk.
94. Art books, as in pages of like canvases on which to paint.
95. Organization, every time I’ve done it.
96. Picking up Li yesterday and driving her to school.
97. Maybe (free with gift card) lunch from vegan raw foods place today.
98. My online prayer community
99. The Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me, and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
100. Happiness. Every minute of it.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
100 Gratitudes Today
I am grateful:
1. Dec. 26 I got through the holidays. (Now just New Year’s Eve, which is also the anniversary of our engagement, and New Year’s Day)
2. Watching Hoarders Buried Alive right now. Realizing how fortunate I am.
3. Being with O and her mom last night for a few minutes in the cozy little house that is so like mine, only all clean and in order and decorated fully, gave me inspiration. She too, has things wrong – a broken floor etc. – like my paint and bathroom paint etc. – and yet you don’t see it now that she’s fixed up.
4. And her going to the Laundromat every week, helps inspire me about just doing laundry right here in my own basement!
5. Now it’s Dec 27. Yesterday I did 8/9 things that were on my list.
6. Including cleaning the kitchen
7. Plus I added cooking three things and portioning for fridge and freezer.
8. Some of the things made me nervous, but I did them anyway.
9. I found a tuner/technician. He will be here Friday.
10. Birdie, Birdie, Birdie
11. I bring my car in for inspection today.
12. And headlight. It’s been dark.
13. And I think I can get my hair cut this afternoon.
14. Plus one load of laundry and straightening the d.r.
15. And a couple other things on list.
16. Had great long talk with MA yesterday.
17. Should get to see her Thursday.
18. And my CoDA sponsor soon too, if *I * have time. (So much to do here).
19. I will figure out the humidifier and do it today.
20. I will not play boggle today. Too much yesterday! Bad for the brain all that computer/typing/words game.
21. I will go to OA
22. And maybe start my book?
23. I am grateful for my eye drops.
24. And my vision
25. And that I’m stronger than I used to be.
26. And maybe stronger than I’d thought.
27. That this is what Stats on my blog looks like for last few days: United States 97. Russia 12. China 11. Canada 10. Norway 5. Germany 4. Brazil 2. United Kingdom 2. France 1. India 1. That makes me feel great. Not alone. And also maybe helping someone(s).
28. I am so grateful for doggie in bed with me these nights.
29. And playing with her with her toys.
30. And the new floppy toy I gave her.
31. I am grateful for my allergy medicine
32. And that I can breathe.
33. And that I’m eating well.
34. And losing weight.
35. And that I have hope for MY future.
36. Artists
37. Museums near me
38. All my shoes.
39. Hats. I look good in hats.
40. My pocket book.
41. My food program.
42. Giraffes
43. I still have a present to open.
44. All the present I get from the families. In December and June.
45. The gift certificate.
46. My new and improved (for them) computer list. Much smarter this way.
47. New aide coming Jan. 3. Oh good.
48. I will talk to Tr and B soon.
49. That my digestive system works.
50. That my mother trusts me.
51. That I’m feeling more like a person. More like a self. More like myself. Than in years. Wow.
52. That I still have a sense of humor and make little jokes that make people smile
53. And not at the expense of others.
54. That I think I’ll be finding cheaper ways to cook.
55. And new ways too.
56. But no rush. That’s good too.
57. That at least that is one thing I’ve been doing “on schedule.” Every week for the week. Plus some extras.
58. I’m thinking whole grain and beans with tomato and a healthy salad on the side.
59. That I’m drinking so much more water.
60. Access to fresh, clean water. What a gift.
61. That I do pray for others.
62. That I’m doing this work every day, even though I sometimes don’t want to start!
63. That today I will take doggie somewhere for a good long walk. She loves that!
64. That I’m not in such fear.
65. I’m not trying to repeat. So at least I’ll put them all on one number here today. But I am so grateful for: MA, ML, S, St, O, M, Ma, JA, K. And Tr. and B. And even N. And Birdie and JJ and EJ.
66. And Jo’s kindness to me last June when I really needed it.
67. And my free tech sessions with her.
68. And all that this job has exposed me to.
69. Buddha
70. My little Buddha necklace from M.
71. That I’m getting along well with D.
72. My healthy beautiful heart.
73. That my ears are pierced.
74. My amethyst ring that my parents bought for 8th grade graduation.
75. And that I find it cute that at 14, I said to them at the store, “But will I still like it when I’m old, like 25?”
76. And that they smiled and said yes.
77. And that I’m 56 and I still like it and still sometimes wear it.
78. That if someday I want romantic love again, I know I will find it.
79. That I believe I will heal from this.
80. That I have boots this year.
81. People who donate money to charities of their choice.
82. People who donate time to charities of their choice.
83. People who donate money to charities of my choice, in my name.
84. Tea
85. A good coffee maker.
86. Lace
87. That I’m going to pay someone soon to clean this place. I am straightening it and doing a good once-over. And I’ll probably get professionals for windows etc., just this once: )
88. I will find a way to get that room heated this year.
89. Maybe *I’ll * be the one to move forward with the proceedings. Maybe. It could protect me. We’ll see. I’ll pray for strength.
90. My daily readings. All 4 of them.
91. The OA phone marathon yesterday. I loved having it.
92. That they’ll have it again next Sunday
93. And Monday.
94. That I’ve been to Bermuda.
95. And Barbados.
96. And Montreal.
97. And Niagara Falls.
98. And Los Angeles
99. And Iowa (relatives)
100. And Washington DC
101. And Philly.
1. Dec. 26 I got through the holidays. (Now just New Year’s Eve, which is also the anniversary of our engagement, and New Year’s Day)
2. Watching Hoarders Buried Alive right now. Realizing how fortunate I am.
3. Being with O and her mom last night for a few minutes in the cozy little house that is so like mine, only all clean and in order and decorated fully, gave me inspiration. She too, has things wrong – a broken floor etc. – like my paint and bathroom paint etc. – and yet you don’t see it now that she’s fixed up.
4. And her going to the Laundromat every week, helps inspire me about just doing laundry right here in my own basement!
5. Now it’s Dec 27. Yesterday I did 8/9 things that were on my list.
6. Including cleaning the kitchen
7. Plus I added cooking three things and portioning for fridge and freezer.
8. Some of the things made me nervous, but I did them anyway.
9. I found a tuner/technician. He will be here Friday.
10. Birdie, Birdie, Birdie
11. I bring my car in for inspection today.
12. And headlight. It’s been dark.
13. And I think I can get my hair cut this afternoon.
14. Plus one load of laundry and straightening the d.r.
15. And a couple other things on list.
16. Had great long talk with MA yesterday.
17. Should get to see her Thursday.
18. And my CoDA sponsor soon too, if *I * have time. (So much to do here).
19. I will figure out the humidifier and do it today.
20. I will not play boggle today. Too much yesterday! Bad for the brain all that computer/typing/words game.
21. I will go to OA
22. And maybe start my book?
23. I am grateful for my eye drops.
24. And my vision
25. And that I’m stronger than I used to be.
26. And maybe stronger than I’d thought.
27. That this is what Stats on my blog looks like for last few days: United States 97. Russia 12. China 11. Canada 10. Norway 5. Germany 4. Brazil 2. United Kingdom 2. France 1. India 1. That makes me feel great. Not alone. And also maybe helping someone(s).
28. I am so grateful for doggie in bed with me these nights.
29. And playing with her with her toys.
30. And the new floppy toy I gave her.
31. I am grateful for my allergy medicine
32. And that I can breathe.
33. And that I’m eating well.
34. And losing weight.
35. And that I have hope for MY future.
36. Artists
37. Museums near me
38. All my shoes.
39. Hats. I look good in hats.
40. My pocket book.
41. My food program.
42. Giraffes
43. I still have a present to open.
44. All the present I get from the families. In December and June.
45. The gift certificate.
46. My new and improved (for them) computer list. Much smarter this way.
47. New aide coming Jan. 3. Oh good.
48. I will talk to Tr and B soon.
49. That my digestive system works.
50. That my mother trusts me.
51. That I’m feeling more like a person. More like a self. More like myself. Than in years. Wow.
52. That I still have a sense of humor and make little jokes that make people smile
53. And not at the expense of others.
54. That I think I’ll be finding cheaper ways to cook.
55. And new ways too.
56. But no rush. That’s good too.
57. That at least that is one thing I’ve been doing “on schedule.” Every week for the week. Plus some extras.
58. I’m thinking whole grain and beans with tomato and a healthy salad on the side.
59. That I’m drinking so much more water.
60. Access to fresh, clean water. What a gift.
61. That I do pray for others.
62. That I’m doing this work every day, even though I sometimes don’t want to start!
63. That today I will take doggie somewhere for a good long walk. She loves that!
64. That I’m not in such fear.
65. I’m not trying to repeat. So at least I’ll put them all on one number here today. But I am so grateful for: MA, ML, S, St, O, M, Ma, JA, K. And Tr. and B. And even N. And Birdie and JJ and EJ.
66. And Jo’s kindness to me last June when I really needed it.
67. And my free tech sessions with her.
68. And all that this job has exposed me to.
69. Buddha
70. My little Buddha necklace from M.
71. That I’m getting along well with D.
72. My healthy beautiful heart.
73. That my ears are pierced.
74. My amethyst ring that my parents bought for 8th grade graduation.
75. And that I find it cute that at 14, I said to them at the store, “But will I still like it when I’m old, like 25?”
76. And that they smiled and said yes.
77. And that I’m 56 and I still like it and still sometimes wear it.
78. That if someday I want romantic love again, I know I will find it.
79. That I believe I will heal from this.
80. That I have boots this year.
81. People who donate money to charities of their choice.
82. People who donate time to charities of their choice.
83. People who donate money to charities of my choice, in my name.
84. Tea
85. A good coffee maker.
86. Lace
87. That I’m going to pay someone soon to clean this place. I am straightening it and doing a good once-over. And I’ll probably get professionals for windows etc., just this once: )
88. I will find a way to get that room heated this year.
89. Maybe *I’ll * be the one to move forward with the proceedings. Maybe. It could protect me. We’ll see. I’ll pray for strength.
90. My daily readings. All 4 of them.
91. The OA phone marathon yesterday. I loved having it.
92. That they’ll have it again next Sunday
93. And Monday.
94. That I’ve been to Bermuda.
95. And Barbados.
96. And Montreal.
97. And Niagara Falls.
98. And Los Angeles
99. And Iowa (relatives)
100. And Washington DC
101. And Philly.
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