I am worthy because God made me, and all of us. I am no different.
I am a great Buddhist.
I am real.
I am whole.
I am a person.
I am a full person.
I am a happy person.
All is right in my world.
Everything that is happening is happening for my good!
The universe and God are taking total care of me!
All is perfect!
I am well!
I have a present!
And I have a future!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
CoDA Morning Work Today
I feel:
Oh. My. Gosh.
My little magnet board is overfilled.
I used every single one (there are over two hundred) and not one of the negative ones fit. It's like, "Is this me?" Well yes, it is!
Here we go.
I feel:
Calm, healthy, gifted, alive, unencumbered (me! again!), thankful, optimistic, gratified, affirmed, capable, sacred, worthy (as all of God's creations are), vibrant (me!), reflective (in a good way), welcomed (M, and even O, and others too), accepted, divine, sane - because I am, cheerful (me?!), fortunate (for a million reasons), energized a bit, needed (M), rejuvenated - or if it were a word just plain juvenated!, better - by far, somewhat secure (God), and glorious (God), whole - omg me - whole!, forgiving, empowered, grand even, valued (by some and even myself), amazed by all the good in my life and in me right now!, just plain old amazed by it all!, amorous in a way, renewed - a biggy, somewhat safe (God), GRATEFUL!, fine, alive, awed, hopeful, somewhat trusting - in the big picture, open!, even thrilled, loving of Mother Earth, other creatures, plants and minerals; inspired by Whitney Houston's funeral yesterday, brave because of all I'm doing and even have done in some of my past, wonderful, appreciated (M, L, MA) welcoming and powerless and humble (program and life), FREE, delighted (all these new things)
And generally FANTASTIC!
Okay there is one: a little bit mistreated (J)
I think it is because:
All I've been doing
L's acceptance of me as I am
M's love for me
God made me
5 good things about me:
I am intelligent
I am deeply spiritual
I *want* to share that gift with others
My body knows what's good for it/me
I am compassionate
Oh. My. Gosh.
My little magnet board is overfilled.
I used every single one (there are over two hundred) and not one of the negative ones fit. It's like, "Is this me?" Well yes, it is!
Here we go.
I feel:
Calm, healthy, gifted, alive, unencumbered (me! again!), thankful, optimistic, gratified, affirmed, capable, sacred, worthy (as all of God's creations are), vibrant (me!), reflective (in a good way), welcomed (M, and even O, and others too), accepted, divine, sane - because I am, cheerful (me?!), fortunate (for a million reasons), energized a bit, needed (M), rejuvenated - or if it were a word just plain juvenated!, better - by far, somewhat secure (God), and glorious (God), whole - omg me - whole!, forgiving, empowered, grand even, valued (by some and even myself), amazed by all the good in my life and in me right now!, just plain old amazed by it all!, amorous in a way, renewed - a biggy, somewhat safe (God), GRATEFUL!, fine, alive, awed, hopeful, somewhat trusting - in the big picture, open!, even thrilled, loving of Mother Earth, other creatures, plants and minerals; inspired by Whitney Houston's funeral yesterday, brave because of all I'm doing and even have done in some of my past, wonderful, appreciated (M, L, MA) welcoming and powerless and humble (program and life), FREE, delighted (all these new things)
And generally FANTASTIC!
Okay there is one: a little bit mistreated (J)
I think it is because:
All I've been doing
L's acceptance of me as I am
M's love for me
God made me
5 good things about me:
I am intelligent
I am deeply spiritual
I *want* to share that gift with others
My body knows what's good for it/me
I am compassionate
Readings
For Today:
"Back of tranquility lies conquered unhappiness." David Grayson
"'Be optimistic . . . look on the bright side.' I have often tried to follow that advice, but it seldom brought solutions to my problems. It is difficult to get in touch with feelings, hold them up, and examine them in the light of sobriety and abstinence. But what a difference it makes! The great phantoms of misery vanish under such scrutiny, not because I've given them a coating of optimism, but because I worked my way through to the source of my unhappiness.
I know that I cannot do it alone. I need this program, my fellow OA members and my Higher Power with me every step of the way. Only with that help am I able to deal with my difficulties and turn over what I cannot handle. Serenity is letting go and letting God.
For today: Am I taking advantage of ALL the help O offers in trying to get at the root of my unhappiness? many choices are open to me: I can ask someone to sponsor me, go to a meeting, write an inventory or take steps five through nine."
Okay, Self - really time to move along with step 8 and do 9.
--
Voices of Recovery:
"Those of us who live this program don't simply carry the message, we are the message. Each day that we live well, we are well, and we embody the joy of recovery which attracts others who want what we've found in OA." OA 12 & 12 p. 106
I feel like I've already typed this one. But will continue anyway.
"When I am in recovery, I am better able to share the OA message with the world. My thoughts are clearer to me, and I can live my life according to the Steps and Traditions. I listen carefully to the messages of others and tell my fellow OA members what I was like and what I ahve done to save my life.
Staying abstinent and working the spiritual and emotional parts of this program are the only ways I can survive this deadly disease. When I depend on my Higher Power, my sponsor's wisdom, and the meetings i attend, my recovery grows daily. Using the tools keeps me focused on living to the best of my ability.
--
In This Moment:
"In This moment, I let go of past negative beliefs.
My negativity used to stop me from loving myself and loving others. Now, when old beliefs creep into my thought patterns. i remember the work I have done on Step Four. I remind myself of how much I have grown in recovery. I stop, own my behavior, and make positive changes.
Through experiencing change, I know in my heart that all is possible. When I realize that negativity is seeping into my thinking, I know that I have a choice to let go of old ways. If I am taking someone else's inventory, or taking my own, I remind myself that we are all children of God. Each one of us deserves to be treated with love and respect."
Wow. Even me.
--
The Language of Letting Go
"Our Path
I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's been in the program so much longer than I have. I kept thinking that she must know what she's talking about. But it didn't feel right. And now I feel crazy, afraid, guilty, and ashamed." - Anonymous
"The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps dos not depend on any religious belief. They are not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated with any religious denomination or organization.
we do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us feel ashamed, afraid, or less-than because we do not subscribe to these beliefs about religion.
We do not have to let them do it to us in the name of God, love, or recovery.
The spiritual experience we will find as a result of recovery and the TWelve STeps will be our own spiritual experience. It will be a relationship with God, a Higher Power as we understand God.
Each of us must find our own spiritual path. Each of us must build our own relationship with God as we understand God. Each of us needs a Power greater than ourselves. These concepts are critical to recovery.
So is the freedom to choose how to do that.
Higher Power, help me know that I don't have to allow anyone to shame or badger me into religious beliefs. If they confuse that with the spirituality available in recovery, help me give their issue back to them. Help me discover and develop my own spirituality, a path that works for me. Guide me, with Divine Wisdom, as I grow spiritually.
==
"Back of tranquility lies conquered unhappiness." David Grayson
"'Be optimistic . . . look on the bright side.' I have often tried to follow that advice, but it seldom brought solutions to my problems. It is difficult to get in touch with feelings, hold them up, and examine them in the light of sobriety and abstinence. But what a difference it makes! The great phantoms of misery vanish under such scrutiny, not because I've given them a coating of optimism, but because I worked my way through to the source of my unhappiness.
I know that I cannot do it alone. I need this program, my fellow OA members and my Higher Power with me every step of the way. Only with that help am I able to deal with my difficulties and turn over what I cannot handle. Serenity is letting go and letting God.
For today: Am I taking advantage of ALL the help O offers in trying to get at the root of my unhappiness? many choices are open to me: I can ask someone to sponsor me, go to a meeting, write an inventory or take steps five through nine."
Okay, Self - really time to move along with step 8 and do 9.
--
Voices of Recovery:
"Those of us who live this program don't simply carry the message, we are the message. Each day that we live well, we are well, and we embody the joy of recovery which attracts others who want what we've found in OA." OA 12 & 12 p. 106
I feel like I've already typed this one. But will continue anyway.
"When I am in recovery, I am better able to share the OA message with the world. My thoughts are clearer to me, and I can live my life according to the Steps and Traditions. I listen carefully to the messages of others and tell my fellow OA members what I was like and what I ahve done to save my life.
Staying abstinent and working the spiritual and emotional parts of this program are the only ways I can survive this deadly disease. When I depend on my Higher Power, my sponsor's wisdom, and the meetings i attend, my recovery grows daily. Using the tools keeps me focused on living to the best of my ability.
--
In This Moment:
"In This moment, I let go of past negative beliefs.
My negativity used to stop me from loving myself and loving others. Now, when old beliefs creep into my thought patterns. i remember the work I have done on Step Four. I remind myself of how much I have grown in recovery. I stop, own my behavior, and make positive changes.
Through experiencing change, I know in my heart that all is possible. When I realize that negativity is seeping into my thinking, I know that I have a choice to let go of old ways. If I am taking someone else's inventory, or taking my own, I remind myself that we are all children of God. Each one of us deserves to be treated with love and respect."
Wow. Even me.
--
The Language of Letting Go
"Our Path
I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's been in the program so much longer than I have. I kept thinking that she must know what she's talking about. But it didn't feel right. And now I feel crazy, afraid, guilty, and ashamed." - Anonymous
"The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps dos not depend on any religious belief. They are not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated with any religious denomination or organization.
we do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us feel ashamed, afraid, or less-than because we do not subscribe to these beliefs about religion.
We do not have to let them do it to us in the name of God, love, or recovery.
The spiritual experience we will find as a result of recovery and the TWelve STeps will be our own spiritual experience. It will be a relationship with God, a Higher Power as we understand God.
Each of us must find our own spiritual path. Each of us must build our own relationship with God as we understand God. Each of us needs a Power greater than ourselves. These concepts are critical to recovery.
So is the freedom to choose how to do that.
Higher Power, help me know that I don't have to allow anyone to shame or badger me into religious beliefs. If they confuse that with the spirituality available in recovery, help me give their issue back to them. Help me discover and develop my own spirituality, a path that works for me. Guide me, with Divine Wisdom, as I grow spiritually.
==
Grats
I am grateful:
1. I am so grateful that I took my mother to the bank and shopping early yesterday.
2. First of all, there was no line at the bank lol
3. And that made it that I could get where I needed to on time.
4. That I was able, through J (unfortunately) and the bank person, to find out my safe deposit box with the papers in it is at the other branch.
5. And I got there.
6. On time.
7. And got out my original birth certificate.
8. And looking at it felt nice. Like my parents had the baby and that was the info and there I was, an innocent, new, maybe – probably - loved little baby.
9. And they were young and hopeful.
10. It was a piece of my history.
11. And I think today, that that experience yesterday, made me feel real.
12. And then I did it. I went over to the post office, and did everything they said, and *got myself * a passport.
13. And all that too, made me feel human. And real. And whole.
14. The government paperwork acknowledging me.
15. The adorable – my age – man helping me.
16. I’m seriously going to find out if that man is married, and if he isn’t, I’m going to invite him to lunch. We work in the same neighborhood.
17. Watching him do the paperwork seemed so – mundane. Like whatever it was that happened last week – same feeling. Like, blah blah blah, these are just the REGULAR things. Regular things people less bright than I, equally bright, and brighter, just do. Not some magic I didn’t get.
18. And I got the picture. I don’t care what it looked like, as long as it is recognizable as me. Bottom line here.
19. And then I cried on the way home. Cried because another, deeper level of realizing I am a person. I am worthy, as everyone else is. I do exist. I am me. Oh my God, I am so grateful to you for that.
20. My doctor thinks I made myself smaller because it felt like the only way to build J up (unconsciously of course). I don’t think so, but I’m grateful for the thought.
21. *I * think I always had these problems and had to get to this point to straighten them out. Not fight them or myself, but gentle myself through them.
22. Probably it’s both.
23. I’m grateful for L. He opens some doors for me, psychologically speaking. I do NOT want a relationship OR sex right now! Just a friendship or 5, and the diversion.
24. And I will continue on having them.
25. Grateful that I could be charmed by that post office guy: )
26. I feel that I can fully accept my spiritual nature now. I must aide it and my staying alive by exercise, of course. But it’s okay that I’m so intensely spiritual. It’s good even. It’s who God made me to be!
27. I am free to be me! Oh, thank you, God.
28. And I might be able to find a couple of children to tutor. I’m very good at it and I could earn a little bit of money.
29. And – I’m thinking of giving Reiki. I am at the level you need to be to do it, and my spirituality and compassion are so big. And I even have a table. I could charge just a little, because I really want to share this gift with others, but still make a few dollars. Mainly though, be giving!
30. And – it might even be really worthwhile after I retire! A way of living and giving and being useful to others!
31. Very nice 1 hour 15 minute talk with L just now, on phone. Nice. Very nice.
32. And I shall go to a museum with him this week. I *believe * he is a decent man.
33. And I think I shall see the movie, “My Week with Marilyn” today with M : )
34. And I will do some stuff around here.
35. And take GOOD care of myself!
36. And exercise.
37. My breath. My breath is just so much deeper so much more frequently, than it has been in years. It used to stop at like, my breastbone. Now it’s down to my navel. I have found my breath. I am so grateful.
38. I am free to be myself!!!!!!!!!! For the first time ever, my HEALTHY self!
39. I am beyond grateful to Birdie and Jj and EJ. Words cannot say. And to all 7 officially listed “followers.” And to every person who reads my blog. I am not alone in cyber-space. I am growing, and I might even be helping someone else.
40. I feel relaxed. I have to do some cleaning, cooking and laundry, yet I feel relaxed.
41. A whole week off. Adding to the relaxed feeling, of course.
42. Picking up doggie tonight!
43. Probably will have til Thursday night! And then again Sat. and Sun. Or even straight through!
44. I am grateful that Roseanne was on at a ridiculously early time this am
45. And then The Nanny
46. And now Hot in Cleveland. I know these shows are ridiculous, but they give me cheer, as background.
47. I am hungry. And therefore I shall take a break from grats and go eat. And that’s a good thing.
48. I am grateful for the view I’m looking at right now.
49. The blue blue sky
50. The oak tree
51. A little bit of some building beyond, but it adds perspective
52. And the wind playing with the branches
53. And the sole brown leaf
54. I’m grateful for my eyesight
55. And for the amazing spirituality I’m feeling this weekend.
56. And for the idea of tutoring
57. Or even doing Reiki
58. For a little money, which I do need
59. And that my mother is not in a hospital or a nursing home today. Yay.
60. And for my new e-mail account. No one else has the password, so I feel perfectly free there.
61. Same with the one that goes to this.
62. And for Betty White. In sitcoms.
63. But also her personal attitude.
64. Squirrels
65. And having seem some black ones
66. And one white one, several times, where I got my Master’s Degree.
67. And a few that were more reddish than grey/brown
68. Coloring
69. Great artists
70. Innocence, like in doggies and children.
71. Dishwashing detergent
72. Fresh fruit! Oranges and apples and a banana in my kitchen right now!
73. Access to plenty of fresh, clean water.
74. Bach
75. Piano
76. I think I’ll practice today.
77. French!
78. I’m going to England!!!!!!!
79. And I’ll bring back things I can use at work!
80. MA, even though some hard times now. I’m so grateful for her deep, close friendship.
81. And for her appreciation of ME.
82. And mine of HER.
83. Getting to work literally next door to my very close friend, M, who is in many ways like a real sister should be.
84. And that she feels the same about me.
85. My “Reiki ring.”
86. My legs
87. My skin. I’m grateful. Really.
88. That I can hear. I can hear birds sing
89. And water move
90. And leaves rustle
91. And people speak
92. And doggie woof. Really. When she does it, it sounds like a small, “Woof.”
93. And O’s bird
94. And wood floors
95. And a tv
96. And magazines
97. And books
98. And electricity
99. And a washer and dryer right here in my home
100. And that they work
101. And heat!
1. I am so grateful that I took my mother to the bank and shopping early yesterday.
2. First of all, there was no line at the bank lol
3. And that made it that I could get where I needed to on time.
4. That I was able, through J (unfortunately) and the bank person, to find out my safe deposit box with the papers in it is at the other branch.
5. And I got there.
6. On time.
7. And got out my original birth certificate.
8. And looking at it felt nice. Like my parents had the baby and that was the info and there I was, an innocent, new, maybe – probably - loved little baby.
9. And they were young and hopeful.
10. It was a piece of my history.
11. And I think today, that that experience yesterday, made me feel real.
12. And then I did it. I went over to the post office, and did everything they said, and *got myself * a passport.
13. And all that too, made me feel human. And real. And whole.
14. The government paperwork acknowledging me.
15. The adorable – my age – man helping me.
16. I’m seriously going to find out if that man is married, and if he isn’t, I’m going to invite him to lunch. We work in the same neighborhood.
17. Watching him do the paperwork seemed so – mundane. Like whatever it was that happened last week – same feeling. Like, blah blah blah, these are just the REGULAR things. Regular things people less bright than I, equally bright, and brighter, just do. Not some magic I didn’t get.
18. And I got the picture. I don’t care what it looked like, as long as it is recognizable as me. Bottom line here.
19. And then I cried on the way home. Cried because another, deeper level of realizing I am a person. I am worthy, as everyone else is. I do exist. I am me. Oh my God, I am so grateful to you for that.
20. My doctor thinks I made myself smaller because it felt like the only way to build J up (unconsciously of course). I don’t think so, but I’m grateful for the thought.
21. *I * think I always had these problems and had to get to this point to straighten them out. Not fight them or myself, but gentle myself through them.
22. Probably it’s both.
23. I’m grateful for L. He opens some doors for me, psychologically speaking. I do NOT want a relationship OR sex right now! Just a friendship or 5, and the diversion.
24. And I will continue on having them.
25. Grateful that I could be charmed by that post office guy: )
26. I feel that I can fully accept my spiritual nature now. I must aide it and my staying alive by exercise, of course. But it’s okay that I’m so intensely spiritual. It’s good even. It’s who God made me to be!
27. I am free to be me! Oh, thank you, God.
28. And I might be able to find a couple of children to tutor. I’m very good at it and I could earn a little bit of money.
29. And – I’m thinking of giving Reiki. I am at the level you need to be to do it, and my spirituality and compassion are so big. And I even have a table. I could charge just a little, because I really want to share this gift with others, but still make a few dollars. Mainly though, be giving!
30. And – it might even be really worthwhile after I retire! A way of living and giving and being useful to others!
31. Very nice 1 hour 15 minute talk with L just now, on phone. Nice. Very nice.
32. And I shall go to a museum with him this week. I *believe * he is a decent man.
33. And I think I shall see the movie, “My Week with Marilyn” today with M : )
34. And I will do some stuff around here.
35. And take GOOD care of myself!
36. And exercise.
37. My breath. My breath is just so much deeper so much more frequently, than it has been in years. It used to stop at like, my breastbone. Now it’s down to my navel. I have found my breath. I am so grateful.
38. I am free to be myself!!!!!!!!!! For the first time ever, my HEALTHY self!
39. I am beyond grateful to Birdie and Jj and EJ. Words cannot say. And to all 7 officially listed “followers.” And to every person who reads my blog. I am not alone in cyber-space. I am growing, and I might even be helping someone else.
40. I feel relaxed. I have to do some cleaning, cooking and laundry, yet I feel relaxed.
41. A whole week off. Adding to the relaxed feeling, of course.
42. Picking up doggie tonight!
43. Probably will have til Thursday night! And then again Sat. and Sun. Or even straight through!
44. I am grateful that Roseanne was on at a ridiculously early time this am
45. And then The Nanny
46. And now Hot in Cleveland. I know these shows are ridiculous, but they give me cheer, as background.
47. I am hungry. And therefore I shall take a break from grats and go eat. And that’s a good thing.
48. I am grateful for the view I’m looking at right now.
49. The blue blue sky
50. The oak tree
51. A little bit of some building beyond, but it adds perspective
52. And the wind playing with the branches
53. And the sole brown leaf
54. I’m grateful for my eyesight
55. And for the amazing spirituality I’m feeling this weekend.
56. And for the idea of tutoring
57. Or even doing Reiki
58. For a little money, which I do need
59. And that my mother is not in a hospital or a nursing home today. Yay.
60. And for my new e-mail account. No one else has the password, so I feel perfectly free there.
61. Same with the one that goes to this.
62. And for Betty White. In sitcoms.
63. But also her personal attitude.
64. Squirrels
65. And having seem some black ones
66. And one white one, several times, where I got my Master’s Degree.
67. And a few that were more reddish than grey/brown
68. Coloring
69. Great artists
70. Innocence, like in doggies and children.
71. Dishwashing detergent
72. Fresh fruit! Oranges and apples and a banana in my kitchen right now!
73. Access to plenty of fresh, clean water.
74. Bach
75. Piano
76. I think I’ll practice today.
77. French!
78. I’m going to England!!!!!!!
79. And I’ll bring back things I can use at work!
80. MA, even though some hard times now. I’m so grateful for her deep, close friendship.
81. And for her appreciation of ME.
82. And mine of HER.
83. Getting to work literally next door to my very close friend, M, who is in many ways like a real sister should be.
84. And that she feels the same about me.
85. My “Reiki ring.”
86. My legs
87. My skin. I’m grateful. Really.
88. That I can hear. I can hear birds sing
89. And water move
90. And leaves rustle
91. And people speak
92. And doggie woof. Really. When she does it, it sounds like a small, “Woof.”
93. And O’s bird
94. And wood floors
95. And a tv
96. And magazines
97. And books
98. And electricity
99. And a washer and dryer right here in my home
100. And that they work
101. And heat!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I Am A Person! and
I am a person with a passport.
It's like: I exist.
I REALLY do.
I went to the bank -
turns out was wrong branch
went to other branch
got original birth certificate
went to post office
woman on phone had given me incorrect information - they were booked and only do appointment only! she'd said walk-ins - in two separate phone calls on two separate days!
but they took me!
and I had everything I needed
and it wasn't scary
in fact, the guy was cute, my age (he told me) and even a bit flirtatious. I'm gonna find out if he's married (no ring) and if not, I'm gonna ssk him to lunch!
Anyway, I AM a person.
You've said you know it.
The government knows it.
My students know it.
Their parents know it.
My colleagues know it.
My friends know it.
My family knows it.
My doctor knows it.
And now, finally, I know it.
I, who had gotten so phobic I couldn't go to the drugstore, just went and got a passport!
And I called M crying and told her and she got it!
And I'm going there tonight for dinner.
Oh God, thank you. Thank you.
It's like: I exist.
I REALLY do.
I went to the bank -
turns out was wrong branch
went to other branch
got original birth certificate
went to post office
woman on phone had given me incorrect information - they were booked and only do appointment only! she'd said walk-ins - in two separate phone calls on two separate days!
but they took me!
and I had everything I needed
and it wasn't scary
in fact, the guy was cute, my age (he told me) and even a bit flirtatious. I'm gonna find out if he's married (no ring) and if not, I'm gonna ssk him to lunch!
Anyway, I AM a person.
You've said you know it.
The government knows it.
My students know it.
Their parents know it.
My colleagues know it.
My friends know it.
My family knows it.
My doctor knows it.
And now, finally, I know it.
I, who had gotten so phobic I couldn't go to the drugstore, just went and got a passport!
And I called M crying and told her and she got it!
And I'm going there tonight for dinner.
Oh God, thank you. Thank you.
Affirmations
Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better.
I can do it.
The past is gone. I live only in the present.
I love myself unconditionally and accept myself as I am.
God and the universe take perfect care of me!
All is well in my world, present and future!
I can do it.
The past is gone. I live only in the present.
I love myself unconditionally and accept myself as I am.
God and the universe take perfect care of me!
All is well in my world, present and future!
CoDA Work This Morning
I feel:
Unsure - because my financial future, thanks to the stupid law, is at this point partly dependent on J's integrity
Rejected and jilted by J after we took vows
Unsure, and even a little worried about getting passport - ability to do so. And about above financial stuff
Entangled - with him
Exhausted - sort of in advance, because unsure regarding the things I have to do
Disconnected - from J and even his family a la my dream last night
A little bit shaky about it all
Bothered too
AND
Powerless and welcoming to caring for my body, with God's help
AND
Grateful - for so much
Optimistic - I just feel all will work out for me
Worthy - because God made me
Trusting - somehow I still am. I think J might well do the right thing
Sacred - God made me and is with me
Valued - at work, by principal, colleagues, and many parents
Glorious - I'm part of something bigger - and it is God and collectiveness with people and the universe
Blessed - to have so much
Fortunate - in a million ways - body, job, home, abilities, accomplishments, etc.
Renewed - to *do* my life. *Live* my life
Somewhat secure - despite it all
Somewhat energized - to have a great week off. And I don't have the amount of cleaning to do that I had in Dec.
Unencumbered in a way. Because so far in my life, I *do* manage to do what need
Calm - Amazingly, surprisingly, gratefully calm!
Fulfilled - inside ME! (I can hardly believe I'm able to feel/say these things!)
Healthy - just do
Alive - because am, and can feel it now
Better - than I was last year at same time!!!! And even two months ago!
Sane - because I am
Gifted - in some ways, like fast thinking, fast typing, empath, language, piano, open-mindedness, creativity, so attuned to other dimension like meditation and reiki - such a quick response - so in touch internally with what my body needs
Five good things about me:
1. I am brave
2. I am now positive. I am actually a positive person.
3. I made that change myself. It was hard and I did it.
4. I'm planning my own trip to England!
5. I'm doing French homework. Have found things enjoy! And am doing them!
Unsure - because my financial future, thanks to the stupid law, is at this point partly dependent on J's integrity
Rejected and jilted by J after we took vows
Unsure, and even a little worried about getting passport - ability to do so. And about above financial stuff
Entangled - with him
Exhausted - sort of in advance, because unsure regarding the things I have to do
Disconnected - from J and even his family a la my dream last night
A little bit shaky about it all
Bothered too
AND
Powerless and welcoming to caring for my body, with God's help
AND
Grateful - for so much
Optimistic - I just feel all will work out for me
Worthy - because God made me
Trusting - somehow I still am. I think J might well do the right thing
Sacred - God made me and is with me
Valued - at work, by principal, colleagues, and many parents
Glorious - I'm part of something bigger - and it is God and collectiveness with people and the universe
Blessed - to have so much
Fortunate - in a million ways - body, job, home, abilities, accomplishments, etc.
Renewed - to *do* my life. *Live* my life
Somewhat secure - despite it all
Somewhat energized - to have a great week off. And I don't have the amount of cleaning to do that I had in Dec.
Unencumbered in a way. Because so far in my life, I *do* manage to do what need
Calm - Amazingly, surprisingly, gratefully calm!
Fulfilled - inside ME! (I can hardly believe I'm able to feel/say these things!)
Healthy - just do
Alive - because am, and can feel it now
Better - than I was last year at same time!!!! And even two months ago!
Sane - because I am
Gifted - in some ways, like fast thinking, fast typing, empath, language, piano, open-mindedness, creativity, so attuned to other dimension like meditation and reiki - such a quick response - so in touch internally with what my body needs
Five good things about me:
1. I am brave
2. I am now positive. I am actually a positive person.
3. I made that change myself. It was hard and I did it.
4. I'm planning my own trip to England!
5. I'm doing French homework. Have found things enjoy! And am doing them!
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