Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.
Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.
Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.
Amen.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
CoDA Morning Work Today
I feel:
Jittery
Grateful
Obsessed about food, about not obsessing about food, about J. and the loss, about L. and the fun diversion
Excited about French lessons, London soon, Jo's suggestions to treat myself more like company and my doing so
Nervous about being good enough to/for the children today
Confident that with preparation and prayer, it is all in God's hands and I will do the right things.
5 good things about me
I have integrity.
I can give Reiki.
I would never abuse that by giving without the adult's permission, or in the case of a child, without his parent's permission.
I am funny.
I appreciate life! Yay!
Jittery
Grateful
Obsessed about food, about not obsessing about food, about J. and the loss, about L. and the fun diversion
Excited about French lessons, London soon, Jo's suggestions to treat myself more like company and my doing so
Nervous about being good enough to/for the children today
Confident that with preparation and prayer, it is all in God's hands and I will do the right things.
5 good things about me
I have integrity.
I can give Reiki.
I would never abuse that by giving without the adult's permission, or in the case of a child, without his parent's permission.
I am funny.
I appreciate life! Yay!
Readings
Today's For Today:
"Those things are dearest to us that have cost us most." Michel de Montaigne
"I paid a very high price to get to OA, and my life of abstinence and sanity are worth more to me than anything. But it is easy to forget. The lonely days of compulsive overeating can become hazy and I can get caught up in the cares of a day, running here, going there. It is easy to drift into old habits and thought patterns that block my usefulness to myself and others. I need to remind myself that the OA program is one of action: going to meetings, working the steps, making twelfth-step calls - all part of my life of abstinence and sanity.
For today: There is nothing in the world I would take in exchange for what I have in OA. I go to any length to keep it.
--
Today's Voices of Recovery:
"Instead of acting on impulse, we pause long enough to learn God's will. Then, instead of resorting to willpower, we relax and reach out to receive help from our higher Power. All we need say is 'God, please help me do Your will.' OA 12 & 12 p. 26-27
"In my recovery, I am learning to slow down and listen to the voice inside me that is my Higher Power. This presence is always with me, but in the chatter of everyday life and wanting to do things my way, this voice is often drowned out. When I slow down and tune in, I hear it loud and clear. In revisiting the Third Step through these words whenever I need to, I live my recovery. That is a true miracle - to know that through these few words of supplication - let me do your will - I move beyond myself to something greater. It always guides me and is always a gift - because when I ask for willingness to do God's will, I give up control of what I think should happen. I am always surprised."
--
Wow! I really both above this morning!
--
Today's In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I imagine.
Imagination makes dreams a reality.
A glorious world of outstanding beauty.
A consciousness of inner glory.
Kind words abound in absolute caring;
Encouragement and enrichment flow to peace.
An unyielding challenge brings confidence,
Not doubt or denial, but hope for new life in recovery."
--
Today's Language of Letting Go:
"Fulfillment
'Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.' Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning o the day. Say it throughout the day.
Sometimes, it helps to know waht we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does.
When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do.
Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth."
--
Wow. I needed all four of these today!
"Those things are dearest to us that have cost us most." Michel de Montaigne
"I paid a very high price to get to OA, and my life of abstinence and sanity are worth more to me than anything. But it is easy to forget. The lonely days of compulsive overeating can become hazy and I can get caught up in the cares of a day, running here, going there. It is easy to drift into old habits and thought patterns that block my usefulness to myself and others. I need to remind myself that the OA program is one of action: going to meetings, working the steps, making twelfth-step calls - all part of my life of abstinence and sanity.
For today: There is nothing in the world I would take in exchange for what I have in OA. I go to any length to keep it.
--
Today's Voices of Recovery:
"Instead of acting on impulse, we pause long enough to learn God's will. Then, instead of resorting to willpower, we relax and reach out to receive help from our higher Power. All we need say is 'God, please help me do Your will.' OA 12 & 12 p. 26-27
"In my recovery, I am learning to slow down and listen to the voice inside me that is my Higher Power. This presence is always with me, but in the chatter of everyday life and wanting to do things my way, this voice is often drowned out. When I slow down and tune in, I hear it loud and clear. In revisiting the Third Step through these words whenever I need to, I live my recovery. That is a true miracle - to know that through these few words of supplication - let me do your will - I move beyond myself to something greater. It always guides me and is always a gift - because when I ask for willingness to do God's will, I give up control of what I think should happen. I am always surprised."
--
Wow! I really both above this morning!
--
Today's In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I imagine.
Imagination makes dreams a reality.
A glorious world of outstanding beauty.
A consciousness of inner glory.
Kind words abound in absolute caring;
Encouragement and enrichment flow to peace.
An unyielding challenge brings confidence,
Not doubt or denial, but hope for new life in recovery."
--
Today's Language of Letting Go:
"Fulfillment
'Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything.' Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning o the day. Say it throughout the day.
Sometimes, it helps to know waht we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does.
When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do.
Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth."
--
Wow. I needed all four of these today!
Grats
I am grateful for these things:
1. My new iPhone!
2. That M. took me there and walked me through it – it was more complicated than I’d thought
3. Great call with sponsor just now
4. My pink iPhone case
5. My white iPhone
6. That I can afford it! (At least for now)
7. That I set a bell tone for a something-or-other – maybe when text or e-mail comes or something? Don’t understand yet. But in my Buddhist tradition (Community of Interbeing – Thich Nhat Hahn) a bell is a reminder to breathe – to focus on the breath – to “go back to the inbreath.” Lovely
8. My beautiful date with L. Sat. evening.
9. His kisses. They’re amazing.
10. Museums
11. Beautiful art work
12. Met with J. yesterday morning. Can’t put much store in this because it is still dependent on both his good will AND how realistic/unrealistic he is in a given moment, but he was very nice.
13. Showed me how to do the bills online.
14. I can do them now. (I think).
15. And swore he does NOT intend to take advantage of me financially.
16. And now it is Tuesday. MUST commit to not skipping! Have been so busy, and, frankly, distracted, and that’s not good! I’m grateful for a little red wine now and then.
17. And yesterday’s sweet, wonderful day that I gave the children. I prayed so hard to be able to, and I did it!
18. That Ji and Je’s “nanny” loves them so.
19. The math game for the two classes yesterday.
20. Cezanne
21. Picasso
22. *Kandinsky! *
23. Although I wish we’d leave nature alone, I do love beautiful architecture
24. Should be great day for kids today
25. *****Doggie (during J’s custody day) was found in woods by strangers yesterday! How the f did she wind up there alone? There are streets all around those woods, and she knows them all! This was terrifying! The gratitude is that she got “home” to him safely.
26. And that she’s here now. I must figure out what to do long-term. Feel caught between rock and hard place: want her safe! - don’t want to anger himself and cause problems for my money – but then am I putting my finances above her life? Anyway, so grateful she’s here now. Safe for this day. I love her.
27. Grateful for her.
28. Grateful that I love her.
29. Grateful that for the first time ever, I texted last night!
30. And that I will cement my plans for touring in London and for car from airport, today.
31. London – me!
32. A *fabulous * French lesson yesterday!
33. That L is so gentlemanly and tender with me.
34. That I will continue to take it slow.
35. That he is cooperative with that.
36. M calling just now. Great am talk.
37. iTunes.
38. And I may be using them soon.
39. Rich people who donate to the arts.
40. Not-rich people who donate to the arts.
41. L. understanding my need for freedom.
42. J calling to fyi me yesterday, so that I didn’t die of shock when messages on home machine about missing dog! (from the women who found her)
43. M and D’s support.
44. Possible doggie day-care solution? Money, though. But a possibility.
45. Lightheartedness. Every time I have it.
46. Every time I don’t ask someone else for help when I might *feel like * I need it, but don’t really.
47. Chairs
48. I prayed on my knees to God to help me do the right thing by others. And He did.
49. Am praying same for today.
50. That I am smart enough to do my job.
51. Sleep. I need more. And MUST get it tonight. MUST remain true to SELF – not L’s phone schedule, as tempting as it is! But grateful for sleep I did get.
52. That I am able to walk about my house on my own
53. And to drive to work
54. And that it’s a relatively pretty drive
55. Healthy foods
56. Organic peanut butter
57. Cabbage salad
58. Water. Water to drink.
59. Water to swim in.
60. Water with which to wash clothes.
61. Water with which to wash dishes.
62. Leases (doggie)
63. Smiling babies
64. Tiger cubs
65. Dr. Oz. Not his schmaltzy stuff, but his smart stuff.
66. Gary Null
67. Clothes
68. Cut shoes
69. That I don’t want around looking the way I was walking around looking a few years ago.
70. It is Wednesday. I shall not put myself down, rather just continue.
71. I am grateful that I speak better again now, thanks to L’s influence.
72. I am so grateful for Jo. She is not only a wonderful tech person, but a beautiful human being and I hope, a friend. I would love that.
73. I am grateful that I had wine, in gorgeous stemware, as per one of her instructions to treat myself well. And that I told her.
74. I am grateful that I prayed the third step prayer to God every day lately.
75. And first thing this morning.
76. And with full heart.
77. I am grateful that I shared with A, a teacher whose father was my principal at another school, about my current doggie situation. She is a dog person and I knew she’d “get” it. So when I saw her in the parking lot, I decided to tell her, in my usual Lynn-laughing way. But she showed more maturity than I’ve even known her to show, and was so compassionate, that I started to really cry. Right there in the parking lot (no kids or parents around, of course!)
78. And she said, “I love you.”
79. Twice.
80. I am so glad I’m honest with so many others (I don’t talk about my personal life with the parents or kids in terms of separation – I don’t think that’s dishonest, just professional and appropriate.) but I’m grateful that I’m open with some people.
81. And that they are compassionate in return.
82. And that they’re not too overboard either.
83. I’m grateful that I’m feeling better about myself.
84. And that I get to work with children.
85. And that I have prayed so fervently to God to help me be good enough to them during this hard time.
86. And that God *is * helping me with that.
87. I’m grateful for humor. Mine and others’.
88. And for Centers (thing we do with kids).
89. And for all the honors in my life. Like the working with children, and the being able to communicate with other adults.
90. And the having taught some others meditation.
91. And the sharing of Reiki.
92. And that we are never supposed to give Reiki energy, from near or far, without the person’s permission.
93. And never ever to a child, without the *parent’s * permission.
94. And that I would never break either rule.
95. And that the sort of “exception” is a general population Reiki, such as after a tornado…
96. I am very grateful for my spiritual nature. Thank you, God.
97. And that I feel sensuous today.
98. And for the laughter yesterday at school with others, all due to a joke L was playing on me and I didn’t know it.
99. That I value my life now.
100. That I helped M by covering her class while my kids were at Spanish, and she needed some minutes out of there.
101. That the principal walked in with a new parent touring the school, and I handled it with grace and all went perfectly.
102. That M found out the principal had been in. And she panicked. But I *knew * nothing was wrong. She had to leave the room – it’s no different than having to go to the bathroom – and she *did * get coverage. I am a professional, paid, tenured teacher and was there with them. They weren’t unsupervised! But M, who worries, went to the principal to sort of confess/explain. And the principal said, because of all M is going through, “Nothing to worry about. Lynn handles it graciously. It all went so well. You have my permission, any time Lynn offers, to have her cover your class – for up to 10 minutes – every day for the rest of the school year.” Bless her heart, I love(!) our prinicipal!
103. Reba McIntire’s voice. (Not her choice of songs, lol, but her voice).
1. My new iPhone!
2. That M. took me there and walked me through it – it was more complicated than I’d thought
3. Great call with sponsor just now
4. My pink iPhone case
5. My white iPhone
6. That I can afford it! (At least for now)
7. That I set a bell tone for a something-or-other – maybe when text or e-mail comes or something? Don’t understand yet. But in my Buddhist tradition (Community of Interbeing – Thich Nhat Hahn) a bell is a reminder to breathe – to focus on the breath – to “go back to the inbreath.” Lovely
8. My beautiful date with L. Sat. evening.
9. His kisses. They’re amazing.
10. Museums
11. Beautiful art work
12. Met with J. yesterday morning. Can’t put much store in this because it is still dependent on both his good will AND how realistic/unrealistic he is in a given moment, but he was very nice.
13. Showed me how to do the bills online.
14. I can do them now. (I think).
15. And swore he does NOT intend to take advantage of me financially.
16. And now it is Tuesday. MUST commit to not skipping! Have been so busy, and, frankly, distracted, and that’s not good! I’m grateful for a little red wine now and then.
17. And yesterday’s sweet, wonderful day that I gave the children. I prayed so hard to be able to, and I did it!
18. That Ji and Je’s “nanny” loves them so.
19. The math game for the two classes yesterday.
20. Cezanne
21. Picasso
22. *Kandinsky! *
23. Although I wish we’d leave nature alone, I do love beautiful architecture
24. Should be great day for kids today
25. *****Doggie (during J’s custody day) was found in woods by strangers yesterday! How the f did she wind up there alone? There are streets all around those woods, and she knows them all! This was terrifying! The gratitude is that she got “home” to him safely.
26. And that she’s here now. I must figure out what to do long-term. Feel caught between rock and hard place: want her safe! - don’t want to anger himself and cause problems for my money – but then am I putting my finances above her life? Anyway, so grateful she’s here now. Safe for this day. I love her.
27. Grateful for her.
28. Grateful that I love her.
29. Grateful that for the first time ever, I texted last night!
30. And that I will cement my plans for touring in London and for car from airport, today.
31. London – me!
32. A *fabulous * French lesson yesterday!
33. That L is so gentlemanly and tender with me.
34. That I will continue to take it slow.
35. That he is cooperative with that.
36. M calling just now. Great am talk.
37. iTunes.
38. And I may be using them soon.
39. Rich people who donate to the arts.
40. Not-rich people who donate to the arts.
41. L. understanding my need for freedom.
42. J calling to fyi me yesterday, so that I didn’t die of shock when messages on home machine about missing dog! (from the women who found her)
43. M and D’s support.
44. Possible doggie day-care solution? Money, though. But a possibility.
45. Lightheartedness. Every time I have it.
46. Every time I don’t ask someone else for help when I might *feel like * I need it, but don’t really.
47. Chairs
48. I prayed on my knees to God to help me do the right thing by others. And He did.
49. Am praying same for today.
50. That I am smart enough to do my job.
51. Sleep. I need more. And MUST get it tonight. MUST remain true to SELF – not L’s phone schedule, as tempting as it is! But grateful for sleep I did get.
52. That I am able to walk about my house on my own
53. And to drive to work
54. And that it’s a relatively pretty drive
55. Healthy foods
56. Organic peanut butter
57. Cabbage salad
58. Water. Water to drink.
59. Water to swim in.
60. Water with which to wash clothes.
61. Water with which to wash dishes.
62. Leases (doggie)
63. Smiling babies
64. Tiger cubs
65. Dr. Oz. Not his schmaltzy stuff, but his smart stuff.
66. Gary Null
67. Clothes
68. Cut shoes
69. That I don’t want around looking the way I was walking around looking a few years ago.
70. It is Wednesday. I shall not put myself down, rather just continue.
71. I am grateful that I speak better again now, thanks to L’s influence.
72. I am so grateful for Jo. She is not only a wonderful tech person, but a beautiful human being and I hope, a friend. I would love that.
73. I am grateful that I had wine, in gorgeous stemware, as per one of her instructions to treat myself well. And that I told her.
74. I am grateful that I prayed the third step prayer to God every day lately.
75. And first thing this morning.
76. And with full heart.
77. I am grateful that I shared with A, a teacher whose father was my principal at another school, about my current doggie situation. She is a dog person and I knew she’d “get” it. So when I saw her in the parking lot, I decided to tell her, in my usual Lynn-laughing way. But she showed more maturity than I’ve even known her to show, and was so compassionate, that I started to really cry. Right there in the parking lot (no kids or parents around, of course!)
78. And she said, “I love you.”
79. Twice.
80. I am so glad I’m honest with so many others (I don’t talk about my personal life with the parents or kids in terms of separation – I don’t think that’s dishonest, just professional and appropriate.) but I’m grateful that I’m open with some people.
81. And that they are compassionate in return.
82. And that they’re not too overboard either.
83. I’m grateful that I’m feeling better about myself.
84. And that I get to work with children.
85. And that I have prayed so fervently to God to help me be good enough to them during this hard time.
86. And that God *is * helping me with that.
87. I’m grateful for humor. Mine and others’.
88. And for Centers (thing we do with kids).
89. And for all the honors in my life. Like the working with children, and the being able to communicate with other adults.
90. And the having taught some others meditation.
91. And the sharing of Reiki.
92. And that we are never supposed to give Reiki energy, from near or far, without the person’s permission.
93. And never ever to a child, without the *parent’s * permission.
94. And that I would never break either rule.
95. And that the sort of “exception” is a general population Reiki, such as after a tornado…
96. I am very grateful for my spiritual nature. Thank you, God.
97. And that I feel sensuous today.
98. And for the laughter yesterday at school with others, all due to a joke L was playing on me and I didn’t know it.
99. That I value my life now.
100. That I helped M by covering her class while my kids were at Spanish, and she needed some minutes out of there.
101. That the principal walked in with a new parent touring the school, and I handled it with grace and all went perfectly.
102. That M found out the principal had been in. And she panicked. But I *knew * nothing was wrong. She had to leave the room – it’s no different than having to go to the bathroom – and she *did * get coverage. I am a professional, paid, tenured teacher and was there with them. They weren’t unsupervised! But M, who worries, went to the principal to sort of confess/explain. And the principal said, because of all M is going through, “Nothing to worry about. Lynn handles it graciously. It all went so well. You have my permission, any time Lynn offers, to have her cover your class – for up to 10 minutes – every day for the rest of the school year.” Bless her heart, I love(!) our prinicipal!
103. Reba McIntire’s voice. (Not her choice of songs, lol, but her voice).
Promise
I must stop skipping parts or all of my daily spiritual wake.
I confess that I think I have hurt for so long, that all of my concentration has been divided between:
work
J. and my sadness
money fears as per J.
L. and it's much more pleasant obsessing about him than the 3 above
But my concentration should be - must be - on my health right now. And that means my eating, my exercising, my balancing of my emotional life, and my spiritual life.
I have been being unfair to myself in the:
spiritual morning work
eating (not too bad but not well enough)
not exercising
being distracted at work, and I feel very bad about that. I'm nice to the kids, and they are learning, but I'm not 100% present all the time:(
I commit to not skipping.
No one/no thing can be my higher power except my higher power.
Thank you for listening.
I confess that I think I have hurt for so long, that all of my concentration has been divided between:
work
J. and my sadness
money fears as per J.
L. and it's much more pleasant obsessing about him than the 3 above
But my concentration should be - must be - on my health right now. And that means my eating, my exercising, my balancing of my emotional life, and my spiritual life.
I have been being unfair to myself in the:
spiritual morning work
eating (not too bad but not well enough)
not exercising
being distracted at work, and I feel very bad about that. I'm nice to the kids, and they are learning, but I'm not 100% present all the time:(
I commit to not skipping.
No one/no thing can be my higher power except my higher power.
Thank you for listening.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Affirmations
God made me.
God made us all.
I am as good as anyone else.
God loves me.
I love me.
Many people love me.
I am okay inside.
I am fine!
My life is wonderful!
I am so fortunate!
The universe is filled with abundance, and so is my life!
God made us all.
I am as good as anyone else.
God loves me.
I love me.
Many people love me.
I am okay inside.
I am fine!
My life is wonderful!
I am so fortunate!
The universe is filled with abundance, and so is my life!
CoDA Morning Work Today
I feel:
Lots of things,
but among and sort of overwhelming them,
overwhelmed about the work around here I have to do today.
And the talk with J in about half an hour.
And the having to do the shopping with mother later. Don't know why, just afraid of my emotions and don't want to. (WILL, of course!)
And somewhat safe in the hands of God.
And scared inside somehow.
And all mixed about the divorce.
And afraid that L wants so much more than I do. But do NOT want to "use" him or be unfair to him. But am enjoying. And AM being honest...
Confused
Grateful
Next time do differently:
More for self.
Kinder, gentler to self.
Meet own needs.
NOT put someone else's needs above mine!
5 good things about me
sensuous
great hair
beautiful feet
more well-spoken irl again
becoming gentler - yay
Lots of things,
but among and sort of overwhelming them,
overwhelmed about the work around here I have to do today.
And the talk with J in about half an hour.
And the having to do the shopping with mother later. Don't know why, just afraid of my emotions and don't want to. (WILL, of course!)
And somewhat safe in the hands of God.
And scared inside somehow.
And all mixed about the divorce.
And afraid that L wants so much more than I do. But do NOT want to "use" him or be unfair to him. But am enjoying. And AM being honest...
Confused
Grateful
Next time do differently:
More for self.
Kinder, gentler to self.
Meet own needs.
NOT put someone else's needs above mine!
5 good things about me
sensuous
great hair
beautiful feet
more well-spoken irl again
becoming gentler - yay
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