For Today:
"What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?" George Eliot
"I didn't call it distrust, but what else kept me always on guard, saying only what others wanted to hear, often doing nothing for fear of displeasing? I walked on timid feet.
The door to trust opened when I took the first three steps: the minute i gave it to God, the compulsion was gone. today I am open to the wisdom, integrity and strength of others, inside and outside. OA. Because I trust the OA program, my whole attitude and outlook has changed.
When I am disappointed in a meeting and wonder, 'Is this all there is?' I accept it as part of living. Far from making me lose faith in the program, my restlessness reminds me of what life was like before OA. I may not always find what i want there, but my trust that OA meetings are where I need to be is as unshakable as my trust in the principles of the program and my trust in God.
For today: Trust is freedom from fear, which is one of the promises of the program. To become more trusting, I can devote part of this day to writing on my experiences in this area.
--
Voices of Recovery
"Weight has seemingly been such an overwhelming problem that until pounds are shed, many of us have not been aware of the problems that underlie compulsive overeating." So You've Reached Goal Weight, Now What? p. 1
"Before OA I was an expert on the art of losing weight. I knew how to lose the weight and lose it quickly. Somehow, each time i lost weight, it always found its way back to me. In working a program of recovery in OA, the weight has had to come off much more slowly; I've experienced delayed gratification. In OA I have to allow time for my emotions and spiritual growth to catch up with the difference in body size. I need to earn my weight loss a day at a time, and turn my ever elusive goal weight' over to the decision of my Higher Power. Through working an OA program, I am able to let go of the weight gracefully, and today, letting go of weight is a by-product of my spiritual growth. By maintaining conscious contact with a power greater than myself, I am finally able to feel at peace while abstaining from compulsive eating.
--
In This Moment
"In This Moment, I don't take myself so seriously.
At my first CoDA meeting, I couldn't understand why all those people were smiling and laughing. Didn't they know life is serious? My problems were overwhelming and I thought recovery had to be serious work. Some people invited me to join them for coffee after the meeting. There they poked fun at themselves. in time, I realized how terribly 'humor impaired' I had become. I wanted what they had. Gradually, I joined the mirth and merriment.
Today, I can laugh. now, it's my turn to invite a newcomer to join us for coffee. And joy of joys, I am being restored to sanity."
--
The Language of Letting Go
"Timing
"If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment." Joseph R. Sizoo
Wow!
"timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect.
Today, I will trust and work with Divine order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect."
==
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Grats
Yesterday, was out for birthday and did skip. Day before, did 100 M’s grats! But it’s hers, so didn’t feel quite right posting here.
I am grateful:
1. Driver yesterday
2. L being SO nice to me for my birthday
3. Friends Jo and S
4. The wonderful dinner at a place where I’ve wanted to eat for 5 years!
5. Vegan food
6. Vegan wine
7. Great waiter
8. Great conversation.
9. Confessing some of the really bad things from a certain situation, to M.
10. L. whispering comforts and gently rubbing my arm while I cried over something for a few seconds. So sweet
11. Facebook b’day wishes from cousin J
12. And cousin L
13. And Sh
14. And O, who made a card
15. And B
16. And Kr
17. And K
18. Lots or people
19. D and M gave me a gift certificate for a massage!
20. And M – M gave me a gorgeous piece of luggage! A large suitcase, with hanger thing at bottom, and compartments for feminine things like delicates and cosmetics. Oh, my gosh, it’s amazing. With the retractable wheels. Ann Klein. No leather or suede. Oh, I’m so grateful!
21. She and I have really become like *sisters * should be!
22. And the other night, on the phone, she said right before the end (and before I knew it was the end): “I love you so much, Lynn.” That felt so wonderful!
23. L, in my arms, speaking a hundred grats. of own this morning, me keeping count. I felt so – let in, so – helpful, so – honored, so – grateful for this amazing experience.
24. I was in a tunnel last night! The four of us in the car, me almost laying down in the back seat, the four of us humming theme songs from sitcoms when we were little, and guessing. I – who couldn’t get in an elevator under a year ago – was – in a *tunnel * and laughing and smiling and enjoying!!!! Zero fear! Just happiness!
25. I am grateful for amazing tantric like still kisses
26. I am grateful for fast moving kisses
27. And lip – well – lot of kisses
28. And different parts of body tongue and kisses
29. And having my body appreciated.
30. And appreciating it myself. Finally.
31. And vegan Caesar salad.
32. And being treated like a lady.
33. And tenderness.
34. And being treated like the goddess I am. I’m serious.
35. And light hand touches and arm touches and wrist touches and hair touches.
36. And breast massages on another person’s body.
37. Okay. I’ll stop. I am grateful that the restaurant that wasn’t open yet, and not ready, and did NOT want customers, let us in!
38. Into a cozy, romantic table in an alcove by the window.
39. For wine before dinner.
40. I am grateful that I liked Jo so much.
41. And that all understood stuff about my Buddhism.
42. And that Jo loves Thich Nhat Hahn
43. And that I have a French lesson tomorrow
44. I am grateful for L in my life
45. And that is sharing own life with me.
46. I am grateful for God
47. And for males and females
48. And for soap
49. And hand cream
50. And lip balm
51. And water. Always, water
52. And that I took my mother shopping today.
53. I’m grateful that I got to see the church window L’s father donated in the village church, in like, the 50’s. Special.
54. And the house where L. grew up.
55. And flatware
56. And cloth napkins
57. And napkin holders
58. And paper napkins too
59. And that M and her girls and her parents had such a great day yesterday
60. And today she took another big step toward her own freedom.
61. I am grateful that Ma has brought my mother some foods lately.
62. And that maybe I can so too again?
63. I’m grateful that I get to see T tomorrow!
64. And still so grateful for my new iPhone!
65. And that it’s white
66. And that it has the bright pink with some black, case
67. And that L was so concerned about my allergy yesterday.
68. And I got it taken care of.
69. And that I was able to be honest with L about my feelings about something that happened in the afternoon.
70. And for the sweet reaction.
71. And when something peeved me last night, I was able to show that.
72. And got a sincere apology (and yes, apology meaning won’t do that again).
73. That amazing tv I saw and heard today
74. The beautiful large peace lily plant I saw yesterday
75. My new and increased appreciation for classical music
76. Shuman’s Arabesque
77. And my new and increased appreciation for art.
78. That I gave my kids good days end of week.
79. And should be able to tomorrow, too.
80. Friends.
81. And that L. has good friends.
82. Goodness.
83. Good people.
84. I almost cannot believe I’ll be with Thich Nhat Hahn again so soon!
85. And that S wears a yarmulke, “…so that they will see they didn’t kill us.”
86. “Feminists”
87. The right to vote
88. That I think I actually gave that driver yesterday a fine time too. He was having fun trying to get me there on time, and getting a kick out of the whole thing: )
89. My paintings from the 3rd graders. Hanging right next to me in the den where I sit typing right now.
90. My Koko the Gorilla painting, in my l.r.
91. My MacKnight.
92. My fridge.
93. With the freezer on the bottom.
94. My years with J. Yes.
95. My freedom now.
96. Life.
97. Health.
98. A bit more weight loss: )
99. More exercise this past week! : )
100. Sex. Maybe soon I’ll get to have it.
101. Orgasms too.
102. Love.
103. Relationships.
104. Family.
105. Friends.
106. Students.
107. Their parents.
108. My principal.
109. Our amazing, dedicated Superintendent of Schools!
110. That I MAY be able to help – or at least encourage – S to get a job there. Our district needs people like that anyway!
I am grateful:
1. Driver yesterday
2. L being SO nice to me for my birthday
3. Friends Jo and S
4. The wonderful dinner at a place where I’ve wanted to eat for 5 years!
5. Vegan food
6. Vegan wine
7. Great waiter
8. Great conversation.
9. Confessing some of the really bad things from a certain situation, to M.
10. L. whispering comforts and gently rubbing my arm while I cried over something for a few seconds. So sweet
11. Facebook b’day wishes from cousin J
12. And cousin L
13. And Sh
14. And O, who made a card
15. And B
16. And Kr
17. And K
18. Lots or people
19. D and M gave me a gift certificate for a massage!
20. And M – M gave me a gorgeous piece of luggage! A large suitcase, with hanger thing at bottom, and compartments for feminine things like delicates and cosmetics. Oh, my gosh, it’s amazing. With the retractable wheels. Ann Klein. No leather or suede. Oh, I’m so grateful!
21. She and I have really become like *sisters * should be!
22. And the other night, on the phone, she said right before the end (and before I knew it was the end): “I love you so much, Lynn.” That felt so wonderful!
23. L, in my arms, speaking a hundred grats. of own this morning, me keeping count. I felt so – let in, so – helpful, so – honored, so – grateful for this amazing experience.
24. I was in a tunnel last night! The four of us in the car, me almost laying down in the back seat, the four of us humming theme songs from sitcoms when we were little, and guessing. I – who couldn’t get in an elevator under a year ago – was – in a *tunnel * and laughing and smiling and enjoying!!!! Zero fear! Just happiness!
25. I am grateful for amazing tantric like still kisses
26. I am grateful for fast moving kisses
27. And lip – well – lot of kisses
28. And different parts of body tongue and kisses
29. And having my body appreciated.
30. And appreciating it myself. Finally.
31. And vegan Caesar salad.
32. And being treated like a lady.
33. And tenderness.
34. And being treated like the goddess I am. I’m serious.
35. And light hand touches and arm touches and wrist touches and hair touches.
36. And breast massages on another person’s body.
37. Okay. I’ll stop. I am grateful that the restaurant that wasn’t open yet, and not ready, and did NOT want customers, let us in!
38. Into a cozy, romantic table in an alcove by the window.
39. For wine before dinner.
40. I am grateful that I liked Jo so much.
41. And that all understood stuff about my Buddhism.
42. And that Jo loves Thich Nhat Hahn
43. And that I have a French lesson tomorrow
44. I am grateful for L in my life
45. And that is sharing own life with me.
46. I am grateful for God
47. And for males and females
48. And for soap
49. And hand cream
50. And lip balm
51. And water. Always, water
52. And that I took my mother shopping today.
53. I’m grateful that I got to see the church window L’s father donated in the village church, in like, the 50’s. Special.
54. And the house where L. grew up.
55. And flatware
56. And cloth napkins
57. And napkin holders
58. And paper napkins too
59. And that M and her girls and her parents had such a great day yesterday
60. And today she took another big step toward her own freedom.
61. I am grateful that Ma has brought my mother some foods lately.
62. And that maybe I can so too again?
63. I’m grateful that I get to see T tomorrow!
64. And still so grateful for my new iPhone!
65. And that it’s white
66. And that it has the bright pink with some black, case
67. And that L was so concerned about my allergy yesterday.
68. And I got it taken care of.
69. And that I was able to be honest with L about my feelings about something that happened in the afternoon.
70. And for the sweet reaction.
71. And when something peeved me last night, I was able to show that.
72. And got a sincere apology (and yes, apology meaning won’t do that again).
73. That amazing tv I saw and heard today
74. The beautiful large peace lily plant I saw yesterday
75. My new and increased appreciation for classical music
76. Shuman’s Arabesque
77. And my new and increased appreciation for art.
78. That I gave my kids good days end of week.
79. And should be able to tomorrow, too.
80. Friends.
81. And that L. has good friends.
82. Goodness.
83. Good people.
84. I almost cannot believe I’ll be with Thich Nhat Hahn again so soon!
85. And that S wears a yarmulke, “…so that they will see they didn’t kill us.”
86. “Feminists”
87. The right to vote
88. That I think I actually gave that driver yesterday a fine time too. He was having fun trying to get me there on time, and getting a kick out of the whole thing: )
89. My paintings from the 3rd graders. Hanging right next to me in the den where I sit typing right now.
90. My Koko the Gorilla painting, in my l.r.
91. My MacKnight.
92. My fridge.
93. With the freezer on the bottom.
94. My years with J. Yes.
95. My freedom now.
96. Life.
97. Health.
98. A bit more weight loss: )
99. More exercise this past week! : )
100. Sex. Maybe soon I’ll get to have it.
101. Orgasms too.
102. Love.
103. Relationships.
104. Family.
105. Friends.
106. Students.
107. Their parents.
108. My principal.
109. Our amazing, dedicated Superintendent of Schools!
110. That I MAY be able to help – or at least encourage – S to get a job there. Our district needs people like that anyway!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Grats
I am grateful:
1. Life
2. Hope
3. Breath
4. Eyesight
5. Hearing
6. Speech
7. L.
8. My dr. saying that’s just fine.
9. B’day tomorrow
10. I think I will get 2 presents and 1 card today at work!
11. Tomorrow I will see 3 friends, L, S, and J.
12. Today I will drop off doggie, and pray for the best.
13. I’m glad I got to sleep with her these nights.
14. Tomorrow, I’ll take my mother to the bank and shopping.
15. Then I’ll sneak some girlie time. A pedicure and free (present) massage, I believe: )
16. Then I’ll take a car, paid for by L, to the city for our meeting. Nice.
17. And Sunday I shall clean up around here.
18. And exercise.
19. And feel great.
20. As I do today.
21. Because there is a God.
22. And God, whomever or whatever this spirit is, helps us.
23. I’m so happy I tap in.
24. And that L has given permission for me to send Reiki energy from afar (As I’ve said before, you never give Reiki energy to *anyone * without their permission, or to any child without their parent’s permission!). So I’m glad I have his permission.
25. And maybe in person too. (I’m certified Level II)
26. I am so very very grateful for my spirituality.
27. And for Buddha
28. And that last year, M bought me that discreet but lovely little necklace with Buddha on it
29. And that I’ve been wearing it every day now.
30. And that a Korean mother yesterday noticed it before she even fully sat down (conferences).
31. And later sent me a link about a Buddhist leader/group from Korea (her home country, where she grew up), who comes here. SO nice!
32. I just looked at it and I love it. Here it is for you: http://www.bulkwangzen.org/en/
33. I thanked her so much, of course.
34. And then I sent her mine, which she’d expressed an interest in seeing: plumvillage.org
35. And this is one of the reasons I love working where I’m working.
36. Despite some of the obnoxious conferences, including the one I’m likely to have this morning.
37. My student, E. And his fine example of happiness.
38. And of acceptance.
39. Sky-watch
40. This site: http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/visible-planets-tonight-mars-jupiter-venus-saturn-mercury
41. Thich Nhat Hahn
42. I am so exhausted! It’s bad! BUT – I will be treated as a birthday girl today!
43. Less coffee in mornings now, I think.
44. = less jittery.
45. Cabbage
46. Cabbage salad from my hfs
47. M. losing weight
48. And feeling better about herself
49. And looking adorable.
50. Me eating better too.
51. I’m grateful for every single time I take care of myself.
52. I’m grateful for brushing my teeth.
53. And flossing.
54. And eating vegetables.
55. And whole grains
56. And protein
57. And for drinking water
58. And for driving carefully.
59. The phrase in today’s The Language of Letting Go: “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t.”
60. OA
61. CoDa
62. Friends
63. Laughter
64. Trying not to lose myself into L., but to continue on with all the facets of my life, as my dr. has said.
65. London soon!
66. French lessons ongoing!
67. Piano!
68. Exercise!
69. Now and then a glass of wine in beautiful stemware!
70. Safety. Every day I’ve had it.
71. Today’s possibly-obnoxious conference will be over a few hours from now.
72. Good substitute teachers.
73. Two days off for my trip at month’s end
74. My mother’s best friend is SO good for her!
75. As is my mother for the friend.
76. Every time I’ve looked at beautiful J’s beautiful face
77. That I know more about relationships now
78. And about what’s important
79. And about myself
80. Good, light makeup
81. Smiles. Every one I give; every one I get
82. Theater. That I used to do theater.
83. Charms. As in, for charm bracelet.
84. Gold
85. Diamond
86. Integrity.
87. Affirmations
88. My hair
89. My lips
90. My teeth
91. My gums
92. That deep breath. First of the day.
93. The river stones in the basket on my desk.
94. Art books, as in pages of like canvases on which to paint.
95. Organization, every time I’ve done it.
96. Picking up Li yesterday and driving her to school.
97. Maybe (free with gift card) lunch from vegan raw foods place today.
98. My online prayer community
99. The Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me, and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
100. Happiness. Every minute of it.
1. Life
2. Hope
3. Breath
4. Eyesight
5. Hearing
6. Speech
7. L.
8. My dr. saying that’s just fine.
9. B’day tomorrow
10. I think I will get 2 presents and 1 card today at work!
11. Tomorrow I will see 3 friends, L, S, and J.
12. Today I will drop off doggie, and pray for the best.
13. I’m glad I got to sleep with her these nights.
14. Tomorrow, I’ll take my mother to the bank and shopping.
15. Then I’ll sneak some girlie time. A pedicure and free (present) massage, I believe: )
16. Then I’ll take a car, paid for by L, to the city for our meeting. Nice.
17. And Sunday I shall clean up around here.
18. And exercise.
19. And feel great.
20. As I do today.
21. Because there is a God.
22. And God, whomever or whatever this spirit is, helps us.
23. I’m so happy I tap in.
24. And that L has given permission for me to send Reiki energy from afar (As I’ve said before, you never give Reiki energy to *anyone * without their permission, or to any child without their parent’s permission!). So I’m glad I have his permission.
25. And maybe in person too. (I’m certified Level II)
26. I am so very very grateful for my spirituality.
27. And for Buddha
28. And that last year, M bought me that discreet but lovely little necklace with Buddha on it
29. And that I’ve been wearing it every day now.
30. And that a Korean mother yesterday noticed it before she even fully sat down (conferences).
31. And later sent me a link about a Buddhist leader/group from Korea (her home country, where she grew up), who comes here. SO nice!
32. I just looked at it and I love it. Here it is for you: http://www.bulkwangzen.org/en/
33. I thanked her so much, of course.
34. And then I sent her mine, which she’d expressed an interest in seeing: plumvillage.org
35. And this is one of the reasons I love working where I’m working.
36. Despite some of the obnoxious conferences, including the one I’m likely to have this morning.
37. My student, E. And his fine example of happiness.
38. And of acceptance.
39. Sky-watch
40. This site: http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/visible-planets-tonight-mars-jupiter-venus-saturn-mercury
41. Thich Nhat Hahn
42. I am so exhausted! It’s bad! BUT – I will be treated as a birthday girl today!
43. Less coffee in mornings now, I think.
44. = less jittery.
45. Cabbage
46. Cabbage salad from my hfs
47. M. losing weight
48. And feeling better about herself
49. And looking adorable.
50. Me eating better too.
51. I’m grateful for every single time I take care of myself.
52. I’m grateful for brushing my teeth.
53. And flossing.
54. And eating vegetables.
55. And whole grains
56. And protein
57. And for drinking water
58. And for driving carefully.
59. The phrase in today’s The Language of Letting Go: “Caring works. Caretaking doesn’t.”
60. OA
61. CoDa
62. Friends
63. Laughter
64. Trying not to lose myself into L., but to continue on with all the facets of my life, as my dr. has said.
65. London soon!
66. French lessons ongoing!
67. Piano!
68. Exercise!
69. Now and then a glass of wine in beautiful stemware!
70. Safety. Every day I’ve had it.
71. Today’s possibly-obnoxious conference will be over a few hours from now.
72. Good substitute teachers.
73. Two days off for my trip at month’s end
74. My mother’s best friend is SO good for her!
75. As is my mother for the friend.
76. Every time I’ve looked at beautiful J’s beautiful face
77. That I know more about relationships now
78. And about what’s important
79. And about myself
80. Good, light makeup
81. Smiles. Every one I give; every one I get
82. Theater. That I used to do theater.
83. Charms. As in, for charm bracelet.
84. Gold
85. Diamond
86. Integrity.
87. Affirmations
88. My hair
89. My lips
90. My teeth
91. My gums
92. That deep breath. First of the day.
93. The river stones in the basket on my desk.
94. Art books, as in pages of like canvases on which to paint.
95. Organization, every time I’ve done it.
96. Picking up Li yesterday and driving her to school.
97. Maybe (free with gift card) lunch from vegan raw foods place today.
98. My online prayer community
99. The Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me, and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
100. Happiness. Every minute of it.
CoDA Morning Work Today
I feel:
blessed, sensual, hopeful, willing, safe, thankful, sacred, serene, renewed, welcoming, peaceful, gleeful, better, vibrant, amorous, grateful, valuable, trusting, open, healthy, gifted, alive, recharged, loving of people and animals and plants and minerals and the world in general.
powerless
shy, not whole, insecure, estranged, uncertain, exhausted. Need sleep! Need more sleep! Must put self first!
Wow. Sometimes is surprising when go through all the magnets to see which ones "fit."
First stuff: happy about b'day, and L, and being a woman, and finding myself
Second stuff: food - and glad to know am powerless on own
Third stuff: shy because meeting L's friends tomorrow, one of whom is his best friend and former lover! Uncertain and shy about ability to socialize, especially when so tired.
5 good things about me
I am smart
I am hard-working
I am cute
I am able to relax and be carefree
I am able to help others feel that way too
blessed, sensual, hopeful, willing, safe, thankful, sacred, serene, renewed, welcoming, peaceful, gleeful, better, vibrant, amorous, grateful, valuable, trusting, open, healthy, gifted, alive, recharged, loving of people and animals and plants and minerals and the world in general.
powerless
shy, not whole, insecure, estranged, uncertain, exhausted. Need sleep! Need more sleep! Must put self first!
Wow. Sometimes is surprising when go through all the magnets to see which ones "fit."
First stuff: happy about b'day, and L, and being a woman, and finding myself
Second stuff: food - and glad to know am powerless on own
Third stuff: shy because meeting L's friends tomorrow, one of whom is his best friend and former lover! Uncertain and shy about ability to socialize, especially when so tired.
5 good things about me
I am smart
I am hard-working
I am cute
I am able to relax and be carefree
I am able to help others feel that way too
Readings
For Today:
"Ther real fault is to have faults and not to amend them." Confucius
"Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, and Bil W. states in the Big Book, 'are dubious luxuries of normal men.' For me, a compulsive overeater, they are poison. with defects unattended, the insanity of compulsive overeating returns and that is death, spiritually and emotionally if not physically. Have I been careless with my program? do i get into ego-driven arguments? do I sulk in silent scorn? Am i quick to criticize with a biting tongue/ These are dangerous traps. They can destroy my ability to think or act with purpose.
I know that change is possible, that I do not have to live with these crippling defects. i ha e steps to follow, and they lead to freedom.
For today: I am ready to change - to be rid of the faults that are hampering my recovery."
--
Voices of Recovery:
"Recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve-Step program." A commitment to Abstinence, p. 1
"Abstinence, to me, is very simple. It is refraining from compulsive overeating and continuing to work my program. Compulsive overeating is when i wander around my kitchen shoveling food into my mouth unthinkingly. Compulsiveness is wen i am not reading, writing, calling, and using the other tools. Compulsiveness is when i do not use the Steps or talk to my higher Power.
Abstinence is eating balanced meals, using the OA tools, practicing the Steps and Traditions, sponsoring and doing other service. i can binge on veggies, so I do not have a food list that determines my abstinence. instead, it is an action that undermines my abstinence: eating compulsively - feeding feelings, bingeing, stuffing my face. recovery is three-fold - physical, spiritual, and emotional. If I only count the physical (adhering to a food plan), I miss out on two important parts of recovery.
--
In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I choose to take care of myself.
When I feel out of control and my stomach is tied in knots, I stop, breathe, and remember that I have many tools to handle any situation. i remind myself that I am capable of taking care of me. I make good, smart decisions about my life. i trust that my Higher Power always provided guidance and direction, help and safety, love and joy. I just need to become quiet to get in touch with that strength. I know it is present in my life."
--
The Language of Letting Go
"We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict.
What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!
It's good to care bout other people and their feelings; it's essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take god care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.
Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about NEVER hurting other people's feelings. We can replace that message with a new one, one that says it's not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.
That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allowing others to be responsible for themselves.
Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.
Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other people's feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing it's the best thing I can do for myself and others."
==
"Ther real fault is to have faults and not to amend them." Confucius
"Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, and Bil W. states in the Big Book, 'are dubious luxuries of normal men.' For me, a compulsive overeater, they are poison. with defects unattended, the insanity of compulsive overeating returns and that is death, spiritually and emotionally if not physically. Have I been careless with my program? do i get into ego-driven arguments? do I sulk in silent scorn? Am i quick to criticize with a biting tongue/ These are dangerous traps. They can destroy my ability to think or act with purpose.
I know that change is possible, that I do not have to live with these crippling defects. i ha e steps to follow, and they lead to freedom.
For today: I am ready to change - to be rid of the faults that are hampering my recovery."
--
Voices of Recovery:
"Recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve-Step program." A commitment to Abstinence, p. 1
"Abstinence, to me, is very simple. It is refraining from compulsive overeating and continuing to work my program. Compulsive overeating is when i wander around my kitchen shoveling food into my mouth unthinkingly. Compulsiveness is wen i am not reading, writing, calling, and using the other tools. Compulsiveness is when i do not use the Steps or talk to my higher Power.
Abstinence is eating balanced meals, using the OA tools, practicing the Steps and Traditions, sponsoring and doing other service. i can binge on veggies, so I do not have a food list that determines my abstinence. instead, it is an action that undermines my abstinence: eating compulsively - feeding feelings, bingeing, stuffing my face. recovery is three-fold - physical, spiritual, and emotional. If I only count the physical (adhering to a food plan), I miss out on two important parts of recovery.
--
In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I choose to take care of myself.
When I feel out of control and my stomach is tied in knots, I stop, breathe, and remember that I have many tools to handle any situation. i remind myself that I am capable of taking care of me. I make good, smart decisions about my life. i trust that my Higher Power always provided guidance and direction, help and safety, love and joy. I just need to become quiet to get in touch with that strength. I know it is present in my life."
--
The Language of Letting Go
"We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict.
What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!
It's good to care bout other people and their feelings; it's essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take god care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.
Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about NEVER hurting other people's feelings. We can replace that message with a new one, one that says it's not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.
That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allowing others to be responsible for themselves.
Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.
Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other people's feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing it's the best thing I can do for myself and others."
==
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Af
I am a child of God.
I am good enough.
I am lovable.
I am loved.
I am enough.
I am grateful.
I am happy.
I am good enough.
I am lovable.
I am loved.
I am enough.
I am grateful.
I am happy.
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