51 today Grats

I am grateful:


1. This______
2. This is IMPORTANT...you must feel this way every minute...it is essential to your soul's growth. It is essential to move forward in this life...you must know and believe this is the truth. Feel it and life will change accordingly....________
3. Staying up too late lying down with book light reading til 2 am last night. Fun.
4. Organice peanut butter
5. On whole grain spelt bread. Right now
6. Coffee with organic chocolate soy milk
7. Counting calories
8. And trying to get the mostnutrition I can from them
9. Fresh organic summer fruit
10. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~ Albert Einstein _______
11. That I never killed myself
12. Hearing from O
13. My gracious reply
14. Who knows maybe we will not be enemies forever: (
15. My friendship with M
16. Rivers in the Ocean
Be a lamp, or a lifeboat or a ladder.
Help someone’s soul heal.
~ Rumi
Art © Betty Albert _________
17. I am grateful to be alive
18. And for my birdies talking
19. And me affording fresh organic baby kale
20. For them AND for me lol
21. Jokes
22. Humor
23. Laughter
24. Books with twists (like Defending Jacob)
25. Movies with twists (Like Presumed Innocent)
26. My dr
27. My eye doctor
28. The breeze today
29. Gotta go to freakin lawyer again. Hate it beyond words. But – glad not putting it off (mother stuff)
30. “When we least expect it, life puts us before a challenge that will test our courage and our willingness to change.”
Paulo Coelho
31. Eyesight. Very lucky
32. Car. That runs
33. Gas in it. Won’t even have to stop…
34. Home
35. Birds!
36. Food
37. Hair. (I know a woman with alopecia)
38. Zen to Zany
The things we don't worry about come easily...the things we believe we "desperately" want or need seem to illude us....and that is the truth for everyone. If you believe in lack the universe keeps you lacking. The trick here (and I could write volumes on this one topic ) is to stop searching and act as if you already have what it is you are seeking. Just imagine you have what you have always wanted...and what you always wanted will find you. It isn't magic...its quantum theories and thought manifestation. I am sure you have heard this before, but little reminders always help
39. my ability to hear
40. to touch
41. to taste
42. to eel
43. to laugh
44. and to love
45. and not just romantic love. But friends love
46. poetry love
47. animals love
48. family love
49. students love
50. God love
51. This _________

Summer

Last night and today,
Summer came
to,
"Come here."
Oh good.
So both do now.
Maybe wings clipped temporarily and painlessly WILL work for their safety in the longrun. And - for *their* fun in relationship with me:)
I love my boys xo

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. Sleep last night. I had nightmares. BUT I had SLEEP! And I am glad: )
2. Waking up this morning. Yup
3. This _________
4. My therapist yesterday
5. My trees and lilac bush moving in the breeze this morning
6. Little early-morning chirps from the boys: )
7. My freedom
8. That I live here
9. This _________
10. That I stayed dispassionate in my online debate. With help.
11. A
12. That the M thing WAS just a dream. Phew.
13. My eyesight
14. Good doctors
15. My eyedrops
16. Tapering the Paxil
17. Jesus
18. That I am employed
19. That I am implyABLE
20. I just saw someone online be thankful for “another day.” I am too! : )
21. That when I sit at the piano, it makes me feel so good
22. AND – the birdies love it! (They have no taste LOL!)
23. Smiles
24. Joy
25. Books
26. Reading
27. That I learned to
28. As a child
29. And that I can again now (couldn’t for a while after J left)
30. Squirrels
31. The Dalai Lama. I am in the Community of Interbeing, with Thich Nhat Hanh. But the Dalai Lama says things – following them I can’t go wrong: )
32. Like this: “Every day, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up.
33. “I am alive, I have a precious human life.
34. “I am not going to waste it.
35. “I am going to use all my energies to develop myself,
36. “to expand my heart out to others,
37. “to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.
38. “I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.
39. “I am not going to get angry,
40. “or think badly about others.
41. “I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”
42. I needed that today! And there it was!
43. http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/meditate/lotus.htm _________
44. Reading Defending Jacob
45. Have others to start after it
46. No a/c on and house comfortable
47. Tchaikovsky
48. W wants to take me out again
49. It looks like I have a date next week.
50. And it is a second date.
51. My dr. likes that idea of me going on little dates.
52. So cool here today. Like sweater weather. Feels cozy. Gonna read. Have played piano…
53. Counting calories today. Liking it. One day.
54. That day I sat with a baby goat on my lap. For such a long time. 4 months old. Just kind of cuddled in and slept there on me: )
55. And J loved it and waited: )
56. _________
57. Or – it might have been a lamb. I remember it was one, that LOOKED LIKE the other
58. _________
59. Books. Books books books books books books books
60. Sheet music
61. That I can read music: )
62. That I have such a good sense of rhythm. Can dance, keep a beat, …
63. Contentment. Just plain old level contentment. Not excited overly, not depressed, not anything huge. Just content.
64. M’s friendship for over 13 years
65. MA’s for 24
66. ML’s for 24
67. St’s for 22
68. A’s for just about 1
69. L’s for 1 ½
70. My mother sounds great today.
71. That I have had the privilege to know people who had “nothing” materially, yet smiled truly.
72. Buddhism
73. That M read the Five Mindfulness Trainings with me aloud the other day
74. The first Royal Doulton I ever saw. And I fell in love immediately! ¬¬¬¬¬I was 14 years old.
75. The smiles looking at pics online of the Royal Doultons I have, is bringing me
76. EVERY moment of happiness!
77. The pleasure I used to get just looking through the Royal Doulton CATALOGS!
78. And going to John Wanamaker’s with 50 dollars, as a teen, and selecting one!
79. The first Royal Doulton I ever saw. And I fell in love. Aged 14
80. 3rd from left, my parents bought for me, that Christmas
80. Front and center 2, my father bought me in Bermuda. First time got any
81. That Christmas, also from parents. Mother picked it
82. In Bermuda that first day, from father
83. And this one for my birthday.
84. My first grown lady figurine. Gift from parents as a teen. It is same as one I'd first seen and fallen in love with 2 years earlier, but different color.
85. J and I bought this one on our honeymoon
86. Only one I ever bought just for myself. College age. John Wanamaker's
87. Gift from gf age 16 or so
88. From same friend
89. From mother.
90. My first. That day in Bermuda. Father wanted to get me a lady. But they were expensive for us. So he got me this. He fell in love with it. Said (although I am brunette) that it reminded him of me. Girl with a dog and a book.
91. I find this one particularly ugly, actually. But mother was in psychiatric hospital and it was my birthday and I was visiting and they gave it to me there. You CAN read the words on the ballad she is selling, which is cool.
92. I loved this so much, and also in matte all white, during my poetic teen years. Parents bought her for me. She was more expensive than the others. It was a real treat.
93. Lynn. My father bought her for my mother. I helped him pick her. Then years later, after his death, when she had to sell the house, my mother gave her to me: )
94. My "Autumn Breezes." The first lady one I ever got.
95. So many nice memories
96. Birds chirping
97. Dr mentioned "sounds like they're talking - like words." Of course it is!
98. Watching Roseanne. Just enjoying.
99. Then will read. And enjoy.
100. God
101. You

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. realized yesterday how free I really am. Could do anything I want. Could break into Buckingham palace if I wanted (I’d go to jail AND I don’t want to break in anywhere anyway – just making a point)
2. I feel Mond, and Tues both, like I felt my first night in London, well before London, on way from heathrow to North London – free – free – free –can do ANYTHING I want! Remembered tonight (Tues) that HAD that feelng in that car: ) (Then remembered well am in exclusive relationship with L so not 100% - truth is I would not have SLEPT WITH anyone! But it was nice thining I COULD – no one and nothing to stop me but my OWN decision!
3. My boys singing
4. And playing
5. Me working with them. Because I am letting their wings grow out no matter what. If it means I have to use a damn net if there’s an emergency. I cannot stand this wing clipped stuff. Can’t wait til they can fly again. Anyway, am grateful am working with them!
6. I just saw that my favorite restaurant in the world, Strictly Roots in Harlem in Manhattan, closed. I am a teeny touch sad but mostly so grateful! For the amazing food I got there. Healthy, delicious, and vegan.
7. For the times J took me there (always takeout)
8. For the time he went there for me for my b’day and brought the food home
9. And for the owner/founder, who always said something to me like, “Ah, my special friend with the beautiful spirit.”
10. Garbage collection
11. reading again
12. that as of July 22, I finally have the “summer is here” feeling. I used to get
13. I started a book thread on fb
14. Got great titles
15. And sahred some other people liked too
16. Went on “blind date”
17. Will not see him again but was safe and clean and nice and mostly
18. I’m so glad I went
19. Plants
20. My sunroom
21. Wood floors
22. Water
23. Breath. I am truly very grateful for my breath
24. The show I saw last night. It was interesting
25. Sitting in the LIVING ROOM yesterday and reading. Finally!
26. A reminding me, “Stay level.” Good
27. M. My deep friendship/sisterhood with her
28. Some of what I see Osho says
29. Kairava (my Reiki master)
30. Reiki
31. Typing
32. Piano.!!
33. That I have one
34. And I like it
35. And J helped me get it
36. Took like a year and a half omg
37. And we afforded it
38. That I’ve made a realization. It is not really the past about which I obsess. It is the future. FEAR. KNOWING that will help me CHANGE that: )
39. Reading
40. Walking
41. ABILITY to walk
42. And to talk. I remember when I couldn’t
43. Laptop
44. iPad
45. iPhone
46. will get piece for car, I think, can then can use iPod
47. will get hair cut and colored very soon
48. and then buy a few clothes
49. people have complimented me lately
50. a little makeup
51. my pedicure
52. and if I do the sales, I can get them like twice a month maybe! : )
53. (instead of like 3 x a year lol)
54. plumbing
55. lights
56. electricity
57. washer
58. dryer
59. dishwasher
60. lists. Really.
61. Enough money
62. Organic veggies
63. Organic fruits
64. Whole grain breads
65. I CAN lose weight!
66. Turtles
67. Dolphins
68. All birds
69. That I can read
70. Telephones
71. Waling outside and seeing people
72. Parks
73. Woods
74. Shih tzus
75. Hope
76. Faith
77. Love. Yes really
78. Friends
79. MA
80. ML
81. L
82. A
83. St
84. My job
85. And that I am off now! Getting ready internally for a tough class. While I relax and enjoy summer: )
86. Honesty
87. Honest friends
88. Friends who keep confidences
89. Hats
90. Shoes
91. Pretty shoes (I have like 20 pair – I am NOT an obsessive shoe person lol)
92. Pocket books (I have 2 – I’m just saying I like them)
93. Mortgage almost paid up. Few months left. Have been paying it for a VERY long time! Almost done!
94. Art
95. Coloring. Really
96. Knitting
97. Crocheting
98. Stamped cross stitch
99. Some needlepoint
100. Beaches

Birdies' Wings

I am sorry I had them clipped:(

I am using the time of course.
And I had read a TON
and heard a TON
and meant to do the right thing of course
and they ARE happy and healthy- singing and playing
eating from my hand
and Jewel learning "come here." (Summer still just watching from the sidelines).

But I know they must miss flying freely:(

And if they don't get "trained"
I will hope we don't have an emergency
and I will buy a net just in case
and carrying cage
and maybe get them used to enjoying going in it....

I will never have their little wings clipped again!
My boys.

Thank you EJ and Kayleigh

Just living.
And it feels so good!
I am introspective. Of course. And ENJOY self-help books.
But tapering med.
And reading just for fun
and piano just for fun
and birdies
and junky tv
and phone with gfs
and time out with gfs
and DOING the stuff i dread and hate but must do, so it gets DONE and PUT BEHIND ME.

and finally on July 22 that "summer feeling" began for me.

Thank you both!
XO!

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. ¬¬¬¬This _________
2. Helen Keller: “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do something I can do.” Wow
3. This ________
4. I was chatting with A. And we each came up with a list of things we like. And I very much enjoyed that! And – came up with so many – and I am grateful for each! Here they are!
5. a/c
6. jewelry
7. spirituality
8. animals
9. danceing
10. making love
11. playing piano
12. walking in the woods, with a dog, off-leash
13. children
14. reading
15. needlework
16. typing
17. pina coladas
18. romance
19. poetry
20. birdsong
21. making lists lol really
22. my friends
23. laughter!!!!!
24. absurd humor
25. that's a good one you just put
26. being grateful
27. walking meditation
28. helping others
29. yes driving
30. holding a shih tzu on my lap
31. keep going
32. great
33. pedicures
34. London!
35. the feel of my birds on my hands oh
36. having company here
37. lighting the fire in the fireplace
38. my car!
39. reading dates with Mary Allen
40. books on tape
41. trains
42. boats
43. planes
44. going to the movies
45. getting dressed up!
46. Concerts
47. Bookstores
48. Modern art
49. Museums
50. Science
51. Oceans
52. Bare feet on earth
53. Acting
54. Learning
55. Teaching! The joy of seeing when they get it
56. Orgasms
57. Coloring patterns
58. Word games
59. Prayer
60. Fb
61. Judaism
62. Hugs
63. Sweet slow kisses
64. Sitting on the beach and beading
65. Making homemade dough
66. Cooking for guest
67. Wood
68. Modern architecture
69. Talking on the phone
70. Photographs
71. Collecting beautiful stamps
72. Walking in new places like bushkill falls, Niagara falls, England
73. Swimming!
74. The beautiful blue Carribbean
75. Singing
76. Especially for the children
77. Or together with a guy
78. Playing in a concert!
79. Vegan restaurants
80. Sobakawa pillows
81. My Sleep Number bed
82. The smell of cedar
83. The smell of lilacs!
84. My lilac bush
85. Crystals
86. Reiki
87. My bamboo garden
88. Trees
89. Baths
90. The smell of basil
91. Linguini
92. Cold wine
93. Letting go
94. Koko the Gorilla
95. Helen Keller
96. That I have seen rainbows
97. History
98. Going to the theater to see plays
99. Flirting
100. Oral sex
101. Intercourse
102. Colorful kites
103. The Botanical Gardens
104. Tai chi
105. Xi gong
106. Mindfulness
107. Coffee with chocolate soy milk (organic)
108. Bergamot tea with a little sugar
109. Designing jewelry
110. My hobby cabinet
111. This_________