Update Since Something Brewing Last Post

 I have been cleaning up.

And I touched my French books. Haven’t had lesson since like July as she went away then I was too busy with beginning of school then she had surgery then I was so down and overwhelmed. Didn’t open then, but touched them, and it felt good. So I left her a message, my dear teacher and new friend, and expect we can start back up first week of November.

I also became DETERMINED to call people to help me here!

I will get basement cleaned out. Clean. Clean for once (cellar). I will get this fucking mouse gone (hopefully not killed but …). I will get the structural stuff fixed.

And maybe a little cosmetics too.

Thanks to beautiful EJ, I feel not as desperate. Will just keep moving.

*Instead of sitting around IM with A all the freakin’ time, will do for OWN self and life and fun too!

So now: 12:30 will exercise then laundry (although scared cause basement… mouse…) more cleanup things (bird cage etc).

Then shower and dinner with mother.

Tonight read and sleep and try to be calm.

Meditate 5 minutes

Much better.

Lesson if you’re reading and suffering, I think is this:

-        Keep DOING. Problems do NOT disappear because you hide from them!

Lesson if you know and care for someone who is suffering, I think is this:

-        Tell something true and positive about self. EJ did that for me, and I cannot tell you how it has uplifted me.

Be gentle with yourself.

I will try to too