My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. My birdy boys are flying and chirping. Yay
2. The times I’ve been part of something bigger. Like doing the same thing millions of others are doing at the same time. Even watching the Mash finale or something like that
3. I am grateful for M in my life
4. And that I went to the bookstore yesterday
5. And bought the book I wanted
6. That I could do that.
7. Just in that one act: I called information
8. Got number
9. Which they texted me
10. On my iPhone
11. And they connected me to store
12. Person on phone was nice
13. Am supporting A. Because S the attacker has attacked him.
14. But not getting involved publically. I know the damage S can do. It is why I unfriended him. That and his horrible comments and pictures against Christianity
15. So I am grateful that A doesn’t want me to either. Makes it easier
16. O. has hurt me a lot. A lot. And I believe our “relationship” is irreparably damaged. BUT I am grateful that I am handling it with dignity.
17. And not going crazy over the way she will misconstrue it
18. And realizing how life is SO MUCH BIGGER than this kind of thing.
19. Will see M today
20. And her sweet beautiful girls
21. Will do something nice for them
"If you are not happy here and now, you never will be."

~Taisen Deshimaru
22. This __________
23. That I am authentic
24. That A is too, I think
25. And L pretty much
26. And M really
27. And MA really
28. And St really
29. And my students
30. And Summer is
31. And Jewel is
32. And doggie is
33. And other doggy was
34. God
35. Thich Naht hanh
36. Maha
37. I can walk
38. And did a little this morning!
39. Animals who are free
40. Animals from captivity who are treated so well
41. That I don’t eat animals
42. My hair looked so good today. Shallow but nice
43. Fun
44. Laughter
45. Reading
46. Books
47. Piano
48. Hands
49. Typing
50. Water
51. Trees
52. Electricity
53. A/c last night!
54. My legs
55. My mother’s legs
56. My brain
57. That I can read
58. That I can speak
59. That I can see
60. That I am free
61. That I am affectionate
62. And sensuous
63. And sexual
64. And compassionate
65. And open
66. And self-honest
67. That I am doing gratitudes
68. That I am about to give the birds fresh yummy foods
69. Prayers
70. Spirituality
71. Honesty
72. Confidence keeping
73. Dishes
74. Forks
75. Knives
76. Spoons. Really
77. Movies
78. Rabbit proof Fence
79. The Wizard of Oz
80. La Vie en Rose
81. Every time I wet to the movies with J
82. And with M
83. And with Ji even too
84. Humor
85. Laughter
86. Couch
87. Park
88. Beaches
89. I am very lucky and so grateful that have started to ralize it now
90. And A for helping me with it
91. Seltzer
92. Broccoli
93. This ________
94. Geometry
95. That I am a good (elementary) math teacher
96. That I am not nauseous every day
97. That I have thrown up only a few times in like 40 years
98. That I am not sick today
99. That I have cold fresh water here
100. And a tv that’s working

My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. J’s help yesterday.
2. And he offered to take me to lunch
3. And that I was able to say no, since I truly wasn’t up to it. Sorry wasn’t but glad could say so
4. Nice to mother
5. He is too
6. Contacted lawyer today
7. Am up
8. Birds are out
9. Were out ALL DAY yesterday
10. Love each other
11. And that I love them
12. And IMing with A now.
13. Humor
14. Piano
15. I am grateful that I think so much about what to do for my birds – about what is right, best for them
16. J was here yesterday and hates the idea of birds as “pets” because of their freedoms, and HE said they have a GREAT life. Good.
17. Humor
18. Laughter
19. Smiles
20. Coffee
21. Water
22. That I can walk
23. Prayer
24. Poetry
25. Art
26. I am grateful that I am trying to do the right thing
27. As always
28. And DO – fearlessly – face my flaws and faults
29. And am lighter than I used to be
30. Even the names I picked for the birdy boys. Instead of going with the serious Buddhist kind of names I’d be considering, I picked these two names. Light. Happy. Cheerful. Summer. Jewel. And they suit them perfectly!
31. People who are good parents
32. People who are good teachers
33. What I have learned from them
34. That I can have nice handwriting when I try
35. That I am pretty open to the changes in language
36. Intuition
37. Trust
38. Honest people
39. Goodness
40. That my dear dear wonderful loving father saw the good in people
41. I am not nearly as good as he. But I try. And I am grateful fro that
42. My hair is good lately
43. Will have grays gone soon again too
44. Flowers
45. Embroidering them so may times
46. Betty white
47. Bea Arthur
48. Rue Mcclanahan
49. Estelle Getty
50. That show
51. And even Hot in Cleveland, which has worked out to be somewhat clever after all.
52. And The Big Bang, which I’m enjoying lately
53. All my veg. magazines and cookbooks
54. God
55. My happy times during childhood. There WERE some.
56. Roller skating
57. The beach
58. Picnics on the l.r. floor where my whimsical mother would put down the red and white checkered tablecloth
59. Her even making blackouts fun
60. Watching Wizard of Oz and her having paper for me to color in kitchen when wicked witch would come on
61. My big light green Girl Scout book
62. Smiling now: )
63. This___________
64. “The best way is always through.” Robert Frost __________

65. This_____

66. This ________

And yes, doing for others makes one happy too: )
67. This _____

68. Prayer
69. Honest workers
70. Hope. Hope hope hope hope hope. I WILL get it all done… somehow…
71. This moment
72. That I have a computer. It is stuck right now, which is actually a reminder to appreciate it lol (internet stuck)
73. That I still send cards to m, whose son was tragically killed in the ocean last year
74. Omgosh so true: ______

75. It is time. And I think I know that now: )
76. The poem written by someone on facebook, after the newtown tragic massacre of the innocent ones:
A beautiful psalm by Danilia Trisollini to the fallen young ones: Wing thy bright young souls skyward, dear ones. May you dance and sway in ways your earthly bodies had forgotten. May you still whisper your "I love you" in each parent's grieving ear, and please God, may it be a comfort to them, rather than another stab at their already bleeding heartstrings. May you, in your beautiful harmonies of chiming laughter, sing the sunshine into each day's morning sky, dear ones. And may you paint each sunset with colors we could never pretend to capture. May your heartbeat vibrate in every chest, and may your honest and childlike love place words on our feeble tongues that, as we have grown, we have forgotten how to say...or at least how to say with any truth. As we listen to the clouds and soft, sweet rain in the hopes of hearing your foot steps at play, we ask that you understand that you are still loved and shall be desperately missed. Be in the arms of safety, grace, and beauty tonight, dear ones. Feel our glow as we send our wishes for your souls' peace.
77. This ________

78. This: Be happy for no reason like a child. If you are happy for a reason you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you.” Deepak Chopra. And it goes SO PERFECTLY with this picture! _______

79. I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being. – Abraham Lincoln
80. A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. – Leo Tolstoy_________

81. That I can read
82. And will. TODAY!
83. I could not after Ji. And haven’t been able to lately again: ( I, who tried to learn from age 3. And read 5 books the first week of kindergarten. And read 48 books a year some adult years. But now. I feel I am ready again!
84. Golden Girls repeats I have every one on disc. And hve on today
85. Clothes
86. Gonna plant seeds with M’s girls tomorrow!
87. Oh my gosh I love so many of these! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=385091468217015&set=a.141765565882941.27195.141319135927584&type=1&theater
88. I am grateful for fb, where I find so many things
89. And that my mother is having good days
90. That I no longer hate.
91. I no longer hate my sister. Despite her cruelties to me. She is just – irrelevant to me now. I do wish the best for her. But I like not seeing her. But NOT hatred!
92. Same with O.
93. I think I found info online about someone A loved very much, who taught so much and died young
94. This _____

95. Yes! _____
96. B. Auerbach: “Music washes away the Dust of everyday Life from the Soul.”
97. That I am alive today
98. Am really quite and very fortunate in about a billion ways
99. MA
100. And that I am there for her too

My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. I feel happy. 8:43 Wed. evening
2. I have felt happy for hours.
3. Was in NYC today
4. With L
5. Went to museum
6. And dinner
7. At my favorite place, Candle 79
8. Have been there twice now.
9. We split the bill, which was great
10. AND – because of a big mistake made by two different mta people on two different days, express bus was a no go…. So I wound up taking car. And L paid for half! Wow. Nice!
11. He did NOT have to do that! So I paid for beer and wine (which was a third of what he paid for the ½ rid). It felt good because he has at times been cheap. And he wasn’t.
12. I walked a good deal today
13. And – my new exercise stuff came
14. And – my new book too
15. And – Vegetarian Time I bought today
16. And – it was AT MY LOCAL GROCERY STORE! I used to have to go to book store or health food store for it!
17. And local grocery store also has some organic produce now too: )
18. I ate greens, a good amount.
19. And liked the special exhibit
20. And got to kiss L
21. And had very nice driver both ways
22. And both appreciated how nice I was
23. Thurs. morning. M’s phone call waking me this morning. I’m glad
24. Our nice little phone chat
25. That I am alive
26. That I am awake
27. That my birds are free and happily flying about
28. Independence
29. Freedom
30. This _______
31. Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. ~William Ernest Henley
32. So much happiness yesterday, walking about the city
33. Ability to walk and
34. Safety throughout
35. And freedom. Felt it all yesterday
36. Smiling right now. Grateful for that
37. Nice chat with L on phone just now
38. God text from A
39. That I’m not letting O mistreat me anymore. What happens will happen. But I won’t be treated like some throwaway ANYMORE. And I’m grateful for that
40. French
41. And the bit of it I know
42. Tchaikovsky
43. Beethoven
44. Bach
45. Mozart
46. Schubert
47. Chopin
48. Rachmaninov
49. Villa Lobos
50. My first 2 little pieces I ever played, age 8.
51. And I still have them! One is called, “Come, Let’s Dance.”
52. And the other, “Crimson Dawn.”
53. And the happiness they brought me
54. That at age 10, I wanted a beautiful baby doll for my birthday. And my mother bought it for me. And the man at the store said I was too old for that and should be getting a Barbie. And my mother told him . Because it was perfectly fine and appropriate for me to want and have that doll.
55. And I loved it
56. Fro years
57. Can still picture it.
58. The idea, “Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.”
59. Off today
60. Had healthy breakfast
61. Have water
62. And seltzer
63. Met nice people yesterday! First driver
64. Bartender
65. Waiter
66. Second driver
67. Guy at museum
68. Family from Texas, outside of the restaurant. Father and son
69. And I think I validated the son : )
70. This ___________

Because I have learned that every time I step outside my comfort zone, my comfort zone expands.
71. Reiki
72. Kairava
73. Mindfulness
74. Mindfulness meditation
75. Mindful eating
76. England.
77. When I was there xoxoxoxo
78. Friends. I have had good friends all my life : )
79. Knowing about the law of attraction
80. Lots of things to which Oprah introduced us
81. I Love Lucy when I was little
82. That I don’t have patience for it now
83. My dreams!
84. The houses I design in them
85. The music I compose in them
86. The dresses I design in them
87. The water in them
88. Good rabbis (I’m not Jewish but I am grateful for these)
89. Buddha
90. This ________

91. Omg I love this! ______

92. Good piano lessons I have had
93. My first teacher, Miss U
94. My second and longest-term teacher, like a second mother to me, Mrs. B
95. And good things I’ve from O, too
96. The day I held my cousin Margaret when she was 16 days old
97. She just had a healthy baby, at 44 years of age
98. I dreamt last night, of holding that baby
99. And wills soon I think
100. Life
101. Hope
102. Joy
103. Happiness
104. Smiles
105. YOU

My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. talking with A right now
2. birds singing right now
3. that I woke up
4. that J didn’t come last night
5. that I am gong out today
6. with L
7. to a museum
8. I will see M Sat
9. And her girls
10. And bring stuff to plant with them
11. And she will make greens for me to eat. All nice
12. Artists
13. Museums
14. Express buses
15. Phones
16. Already M called this am : )
17. Cell phone
18. Paying bills online
19. And on phone
20. Credit cards (as long as not run up balance)
21. That I can walk
22. That I have a car
23. Helpful people
24. Honest people
25. People who just live clean and innocent lives
26. That I ate well yesterday
27. Losing weight
28. Day off today
29. Coffee with organic chocolate soymilk
30. Can see
31. And hear
32. And get around
33. And talk
34. And I am a free person
35. Shoes
36. Feet
37. Wearing skirt today
38. And cute top
39. Walking around
40. That B and Jn have found each other. I think they are happy together.
41. That I am NOT accepting this third-class citizen treatment from O anymore.
42. Fb
43. Tv
44. Magazines
45. Books
46. That I can read
47. That I don’t have a big disease
48. That I am CAPABLE of doing all I need to do
49. And not as phobic as used to be
50. Not as afraid
51. That I have a piano
52. And can play it
53. Doggie can visit this summer (I will work it out with the birdies)
54. Humor
55. Laughter
56. MA
57. That I am not homeless
58. That I have enough food
59. That I have acted on stage
60. This You wanna fly,
you got to give up the shit
that weighs you down
~ Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon ___________
61. This______
62. Pubic transportation
63. That I have used so much of it in my life. Including subways
64. Buses
65. Express buses
66. Trains
67. Planes
68. Cabs
69. ferries
70. That I don’t have to take it to work
71. Cats
72. Kittens
73. Lions
74. Dogs
75. Pups
76. Wolves
77. Turtles
78. Gerbils
79. Hamsters
80. guinea pigs
81. pot-bellied pigs
82. that I don’t eat animals
83. whole grains
84. whole foods
85. organic vegetables
86. organic fruits
87. water!
88. my hands
89. and how well and quickly I type
90. HOPE!
91. Opportunities
92. My education
93. That I can read and have taught others to read
94. St
95. Friendships
96. Smiles
97. Sharing
98. Trees
99. Flowers
100. Grass
101. Clouds
102. Earth
103. Sky

WOWIE-GRATS!

Big long list of things for which I’m grateful, not caring at all about repeats: )

1. Eyesight
2. That Jonny Depp has problems with his too, and he’s fine and so am I. We can SEE.
3. Hearing
4. Voice
5. For speaking, but I can also carry a tune!
6. Throat for swallowing
7. Esophagus healthy
8. Tongue healthy
9. Teeth healthy
10. Gums healthy
11. Good brain
12. Never had cancer
13. Never had stroke
14. Never had heart attack
15. Never had ms
16. Or cystic fibrosis
17. Or interstitial lung disease
18. Of kidney disease
19. Of any amputation
20. Or deadly diagnosis of any kind for real
21. Or alcoholism
22. Or drug addiction
23. Healthy skin
24. Healthy liver
25. Healthy bladder
26. Healthy intestines
27. Healthy cervix
28. And vagina
29. And clitoris
30. And veins
31. And bloodstream
32. Healthy oxygen levels
33. Healthy muscles
34. Arms
35. Hands
36. Fingers
37. Legs
38. Feet
39. Toes
40. I have even had pedicures
41. And manicure
42. And used to have wraps for goodness sake
43. I have had massages
44. Fingernails
45. Toenails
46. Healthy nose. All fixed inside after surgery
47. Got through general anesthesia 4 times, perfectly
48. And like a Propofol 3 x I think
49. Do not have asthma attacks anymore
50. Claritin, not even daily, I s all I need for allergies
51. That I can afford the claritan
52. My eye drops – Xalatan
53. The man who invented them
54. And his mother. No. I’m not kidding.
55. Good aides at school
56. Have never had hiv
57. Or tuberculosis (my uncle did)
58. Or polio (my aunt did)
59. Or an embolism (my father died of one)
60. Or an aneurysm
61. Never have found someone dead (O did)
62. Have helped 2 people to not commit suicide. RIGHT IN THE MOMENT!
63. Have gotten help for former friend who was abusing her child – for them
64. Did the right thing when the student of mine was being abused. Did the right thing by her
65. And her parents
66. And the law
67. Having heard from her all these years later.
68. And she is well!
69. And in college : )
70. Standing up for what is right at the times I have
71. Being a generally forgiving person
72. Affirmations
73. K and her help to me
74. Home cooking.
75. That I grew up with it every night.
76. And we had dinner as a family every night
77. And talked (my uncle didn’t let the children talk at the table – oy)
78. That my father didn’t hit me (my uncle hit them – with the belt. And KEPT IT ON THE CHAIR AT DINNER. Made a production of putting it there)
79. Phone calls
80. Pretty dresses.
81. On everyone. Not just me.
82. And skirts
83. Classic yet somewhat feminine clothes
84. Comfortable yet pretty clothes
85. I will have a coat next winter
86. This __________
87. The Roseanne show
88. Two and a Half Men show
89. Beautiful houses
90. Looking at them
91. And in books too
92. All the 127 fb pages I’ve “Liked”
93. All the 58 people I’ve “Friended”
94. Nature
95. Art
96. Music
97. Birds
98. Grass
99. Trees
100. Rivers
101. Lakes
102. Oceans
103. Streams
104. Brooks
105. Woods
106. Forests
107. Flowers
108. Ferns
109. Shrubs
110. Bushes
111. Lilacs – that fragrance
112. Hyacinths – that fragrance
113. Books
114. That I can read
115. That I have helped many other to read
116. That I used to go to volunteer at an orphanage
117. And at a psychiatric hospital
118. Where they put me in CHARGE of 4 real teachers, before I was one, and 18 children!
119. And that I did great at it
120. That I am a decent speller
121. The game, Scrabble
122. And Scrabble on the computer too
123. Movies
124. Videos
125. The main avenue near me
126. The big beautiful park to which I can walk
127. The sound to which I can drive
128. Mountains nearby too
129. I have seen the stars from less lighted areas. So beautiful
130. And some planets!
131. I have taught astronomy
132. And history
133. And math
134. And reading
135. And spelling
136. And cursive writing
137. And neater print
138. And writing
139. And I’m a much better writing teacher than I ever was
140. So many so many students who have loved me
141. And whom I have loved
142. The work I got to do at the other psychiatric hospital too
143. My education
144. That my parents paid for college
145. And I got 2 degrees there
146. And then I got a Master’s degree
147. And paid for that myself! : )
148. And got a 4.0 in it
149. And that J pointed that out to me
150. Good doctors
151. My therapist’s devotion to me
152. And smarts
153. The times I’ve been close with my cousin J
154. And my cousin K
155. And my cousin B
156. And my cousin P
157. And my cousin S
158. And my cousin L
159. And even – very very little time – my bitch sister D
160. My real sister, M.
161. For life
162. And MA
and St
163. And O before our probably irreparable falling out
164. Fb
165. Email
166. Cell phone
167. That mine is now (for over a year) an iPhone
168. My friendship with L. That it is working out after all
169. That MA has finally agreed to let me help her
170. Nutrition knowledge
171. That I’m putting it into place more now
172. And especially as regards my own body: )
173. That even though I’m a compulsive overeater, I helped MA to lose over 30 pounds!
174. And C to lose a lot more than that!
175. That although my dear friend, who is married, wants to sleep with me, I will not do that. I don’t care WHAT state their marriage is in. As long as it is not an open marriage (and probably even if it were), I will NOT DO that!
176. All my vegan cookbooks! Including Veganomicon
177. Vegan with a Vengence
178. Appetite for Reduction
179. Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen
180. Vegan Italiano
181. The Vegan Lunchbox
182. Vegan a Go-Go
183. Vegan Yum-Yum
184. Vegan Cupcakes Take over the World
185. The Joy of Vegan Baking
186. Vegan Table
187. The Happy Herbivore
188. Supermarket Vegan
189. How It All Vegan
190. Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker
191. The Conscious Cook
192. 365 Simply Delicious Dairy-Free (from library)
193. Nona’s Kitchen (from library)
194. Vegetarian
195. Vegetarian Cookbook for Everyone
196. Although I gave it away because I never used it, I am grateful that a student’s parent gave me “Vegetarian Soups”
197. Vegan Planet
198. Quick-fix Vegan
199. Vegan on the Cheap
200. 20 Minute Vegan
201. The Garden of Vegan
202. Vegetarian Cooking Commonsense Guide
203. That I have a slow cooker
204. Whole Food Recipes. Fro my Vitamix
205. That I HAVE a Vitamix. Wow.
206. Vegetarian Times
207. VegNews
208. Prevention magazine (wow – I really DO have NO excuse to not eat well lol)
209. Vegan restaurants right in NYC
210. And vegan organic items right in my local little supermarket!
211. +2 different great health food stores nearby
212. That I can drive
213. And have a car
214. And a license
215. And a home
216. A roof
217. Fireplace
218. Washer
219. Dryer
220. Dishwasher
221. Stove
222. Oven
223. Fridge
224. Place to having clothes to dry
225. That I don’t use the dry cleaner anymore
226. Wonderful little doggie
227. Summer
228. Jewel
229. Millet for them
230. And organic pellets
231. And seed
232. And organic greens
233. And good water
234. That I have had a nice relationship early on when we were first dating, with L.
235. And nice sex
236. And good sleepovers
237. And fun
238. And care
239. And spirituality sharing
240. And musical sharing
241. And artistic sharing
242. That I have had moments of NOT wanting to be back with J! This is HUGE!!!!!
243. That I have an iPad
244. And it was a gift
245. And a laptop
246. And an iPod. Wow, what wealth
247. Restaurants I have loved/ love. Including in Manhattan, these: Strictly Roots
248. Candle 79
249. Blossom
250. Blossom Café
251. Zen Palate and Caravan of Dreams and Angelika Kitchen. I didn’t really love but I’m grateful they exist
252. V-Spot (Brooklyn)
253. Buddha Bodai
254. Red Bamboo
255. Vegetarian Paradise 2
256. Souen
257. Also a Malaysian one
258. And a bowl food one I forget the ethnicity
259. The restaurant in Williamsburg where J would bring home takeout from when he was in that area
260. All the many many many safe drives he’s had. Including when he was a driver for his job
261. Wine bars I went to with L. I’d never been before!
262. One in Staten Island
263. One elsewhere
264. City
265. Long Island
266. That we never had an accident ourselves nor hurt anyone else. Because I think now, that sometimes he was a little tiny bit buzzed and should not have driven.
267. Every safe ride I’ve ever had
268. Especially the stupid ones when was younger
269. That MA is teaching me to not put others on a pedestal
270. That she was brave enough to point out not only how it is unfair to ME, but how it is unfair to THEM
271. Her pink bubble theory. And when to sweep it out and close it up again.
272. Integral Yoga Natural Foods store
273. Trader Joe’s around here
274. The two they used to have around here
275. Meatless Mondays menu in place around here: )
276. My high school boyfriend’s kisses
277. My first orgasm (later)
278. And every one since ;)
279. Ji and how good he was to me
280. J and how romantic and sexual
281. And also so good to me in a million ways a million times
282. Like when I was injured
283. And later injured again
284. And sick those times
285. And post-surgical those times
286. And when laughing together so much every day
287. And with friend issues
288. And work issues
289. And phobias
290. That I am no longer friends with, and not pretending to be friends with S
291. Or Li.
292. That I will accept whatever happens with O and me
293. J. bringing me the pretty lilac colored yarn when I was sick
294. That I can crochet with it
295. Some free time now. Phew.
296. My mommy
297. That I had one of the best dads who ever lived
298. How he made everyone feel about ourselves
299. That I can write
300. And type
301. Word games. Including the word puzzle in the trashy Globe tabloid magazine. I enjoy it. And I’m not hurting anyone…
302. And boggle
303. And Pyramid
304. and Word Mine!
305. And Spellathon!
306. Draing
307. Coloring
308. Painting
309. Knitting
310. Crocheting
311. Stamped cross-stitch
312. Needpoint
313. Crewel work
314. That I made it up myself on paper napkin with thread from my mother’s sewing box, before I’d ever heard of it!
315. That I sewed clothes for myself as a teen!
316. By hand!
317. Using newspaper for a “pattern”
318. And they were nice
319. And fit
320. And comfy and pretty and wearable
321. And the sweater I knit for self too
322. And for G
323. And for Ji
324. And the blankets I’ve made
325. For Mo’s baby
326. And others
327. And J
328. And self
329. And others
330. Swiffer.
331. Dust cloth reusable
332. Dishwashing liquid
333. Dishwasher detergent
334. Clothes detergent
335. And softener
336. Vacuum
337. Sponges
338. Dish towels
339. Towels
340. Washcloths
341. Soap
342. Hand soap
343. Shampoo
344. Condition
345. 2-in-1
346. faial cleanser
347. Reverse Lift from Serious Skin Care at HSN
348. That when there was violence in this house, no one ever got really hurt
349. That there will never be violence in my house again. At least not that I can help.
350. Books in my classroom
351. The money we’re allowed to spend. I am given literally ¼ of what I was given 20 years ago! And things are so much more expensive! But – I still get stuff: )
352. And pay for some myself. But – can: )
353. The OA meetings that have helped me
354. And the Nar-Anon ones too
355. And the Al-anon ones
356. And the Co-dependents ones
357. And that other one I forget what it was caused
358. Indoor plumbing
359. Electricity
360. That I have a cellar (for the laundry)
361. That J put a window in so second point of egress if emergency
362. The sunroom
363. My birdies getting along so well
364. Bird Talk magazine. They don’t make it anymore but I have borrowed some old copies
365. Birds
366. Giraffes
367. Elephants
368. Zebras
369. Chipmunks
370. Rabbits
371. That 2nd graders call them “bunnies.” So innocent
372. All innocents
373. Thich Nhat Hanh
374. 2005 when J and I went on retreat with him
375. and again in 2007
376. and again in 2009! So lucky!
377. And then when *I * did in 2011
378. In LONDON!
379. I loved loved loved loved that trip
380. That it was the happiest week of my life
381. That M and L and J and my mother WERE involved. But I was alone there
382. Flew
383. Paid
384. Arranged
385. Set up hotel
386. Walked
387. Took buses
388. Tour buses
389. Tube
390. Car service like taxis
391. Went to Kensington Palace
392. Ate at Indian restaurant
393. Ate beans on toast some mornings at local place
394. The best Italian food I (an Italian!) had ever had
395. Saw Buckingham Palace
396. Went to Windsor Castle
397. The Tower! Omg what a day that was
398. Stonehenge
399. Bath
400. The Tate Museum
401. Harrod’s
402. And bought jammies there
403. And a robe
404. And spent like 300 dollars
405. But was treated as if was spending 300 thousand!
406. Was driven straight from airport to L’s
407. To that special seder
408. And slept over
409. And had nice sex together
410. Navigating the airport
411. Learning about these people being there to HELP. Just as I in my job am there to HELP. That there is help available! Big lesson
412. The flight home
413. The 1 times when I felt phobic and used Thich Naht Hanh”s method, “Hello fear…” and it worked!!!!!
414. The peicure I got night before I came home
415. The shower with the new shampoo morning of coming home
416. The trips to the Poconos J and I have had. So many of them!
417. And to Niagara Falls
418. And that I trusted him and went underground to go behind the falls despite elevator phobia 1000 feet down!
419. And it was wonderful!
420. And Montreal
421. And LA
422. Twice
423. And Barbados. On the best honeymoon anyone’s ever had maybe : )
424. When I’ve swam in heated pool
425. Times in the Catskills with J too
426. Time in Poconos with Ji
427. And Niagara Falls
428. And Bermuda with my parents. Despite how much I didn’t want to go! lol
429. My Royal Doultons. Every one with its own story
430. The 3 doggies my daddy bought me in Bermuda
431. And the doggie with the pillow my mom bought me
432. And the little girl with the dog and the book my father picked because it reminded him so of me
433. Autums Breezes. The one I first saw, and with which I fell in love. (In black and white)
434. My parents buying me that one, my first big lady one, in red
435. And the Ballad Seller. I don’t particularly like it, but my parents bought it for me.
436. Even though my mom was in psychiatric hospital, gave it to me for my birthday
437. My Love that they bought me
438. Lynn that I help my father pick out for my mother
439. And she has since given to me
440. And the girl with the dove, that *I * bought for *myself. *
441. The poodle I didn’t love but parents though I would and bought for me
442. And the two little girls my high school friend S bought for me
443. And I didn’t’ want them, but my boyfriend at the time told me I sounded like a spoiled brat when I told him, and he was right. He was bad bad so bad for me in a million ways. But I’m glad for that.
444. That the things he WANTED me to do, degrading things, didn’t quite work out thank God. Because I was just weak enough that I might have
445. That I have never had an std
446. Birdsong
447. Outside and in my house
448. Everyone who is helping the planet
449. Although I don’t really respect him, some of what Dr. Phil says.
450. My mother’s good aides, thank God for them
451. Especially M
452. Good parents everywhere
453. Good workers everywhere
454. Honesty
455. Confidence keeping
456. Humor
457. Biographies
458. My aunt J
459. My uncle C
460. My aunt M
461. My Uncle G
462. My aunt L
463. My uncle F
464. My aunt Ju
465. My Noni
466. My pap-noni
467. My nanny
468. My poppy
469. My aunt R
470. The many sleepovers at the Jersey shore with relatives
471. And with friends
472. And in Long Island
473. And at Aunt R’s
474. That I have a little yard
475. And a front
476. And side
477. And no neighbors on 3 sides
478. Yet am near others
479. My childhood friend
480. And Lo
481. And later Je
482. And B
483. And D
484. And C
485. The second place Ji and I had
486. And the 3rd car
487. And the boat. Wow.
488. The good job I’ve done teaching some of the piano lessons I’ve taught
489. Notebooks
490. Pencils
491. Pens
492. The ones that don’t hurt my neck
493. My pain is much less now
494. Tha I played in the two recitals, one last year and one this
495. And at that woman’s house for her 40th b’day party
496. As a fundraiser
497. And J’s incredible incredible 3 months of patence and support
498. And him driving me there
499. And a million places
500. MA being there for me during the darkest times
501. And me for her
502. O too
503. Both ways
504. M too both ways
505. St to both ways although more for me, as she has a better mental health and life
506. The little tea party as she called it, that I had here with K. My first company since J left
507. The party J and I had
508. The time we had the relatives over and they adored it
509. And very very wealthy, well-traveled, … uncle said never had a better night in his life
510. Air conditioning
511. Lamps
512. Heater
513. Hot water heater
514. My little music box where you can see the workings
515. It cost $5.00!
516. When I was 17
517. I bought it for myself for Christmas
518. And wrapped it and put it under the tree and waited
519. I have always been good at waiting for gifts
520. Ji used to use MY bottom drawer (at my suggestion) to hide presents HE’D bought for me! They were safe there ! lol
521. That I have prescription reading glasses
522. And prescription bifocals
523. And prescription sunglasses
524. That I don’t need a walker
525. Or a cane
526. Or crutches
527. Or a wheelchair
528. The help I’ve gotten from Weight Watchers
529. Dance dvds
530. Little weights
531. Exercise bands
532. Bicycle at gum
533. Swimming at gym
534. Ballroom dancing class I took with J
535. My two weddings (oy lol)
536. I am grateful for orange juice
537. And pomegranate juice
538. And ice water
539. And grape juice
540. And the little white wine I had last night
541. Alarm clark
542. Computers.
543. SmartBoard
544. And when we DON’T use them too!
545. That I had nice things growing up. Like shelves around my bed
546. And Girl Scout things
547. And stationary
548. And my own Christmas cards
549. And good clothes
550. And we went to D.C. twice
551. And Iowa twice
552. And to D.C. a lot with Ji
553. And Atlantic city with Ji
554. And with J
555. Meal with M and MA the other day
556. That I can breathe on my own!!!!!
557. HOPE!
558. God!
559. People who “get” who I am
560. That I am at leaset less shy than I used to be
561. The 10 days in the hospital. So much went wrong. And I hated being there. But J cared. And I made despite their horrible mistakes. And I got to come home
562. M, the little dog we had. The sweetest creature ever
563. And P, this one
564. And that she spent hours at my mother’s the other day
565. Good for all. Mother, dog, J, and aide
566. That my mother can afford all the medicines she needs
567. And gets Meals on Wheels.
568. Thanks to L for teaching me about THAT one.
569. My little elephant statue
570. That I loved reading since little
571. That although I stopped after first divorce, and again recently, I think I am ready again
572. Good book groups
573. For my kids (students) too
574. That I can tell time
575. That I don’t hate math as I once thought I did
576. The beautify to me of the French language
577. That I know a little bit of it
578. That I do accents well
579. And I act well
580. Compassion. Everywhere there is compassion
581. Peace. Everywhere there is peace.
582. Peace on my own street.
583. Poetry
584. My hobby cabinet
585. My breakfront
586. My curio
587. My sofas (2)
588. And loveseat
589. And chairs
590. And table
591. And coffee table
592. And wrought iron table and chairs
593. The flight cage on wheels for the birdies
594. The built in bookshelves
595. I have walls
596. And floors
597. And a driveway
598. And a garage (even though I don’t use it)
599. That bigger than my jealousy, is my utter delight that MA has enough money for her next stage of life (and the rest of her life). To live it well, and with what help she needs. Phew
600. Gardens
601. My bamboo
602. That someone else (I pay) shovels snow for me, such that I can get to work on time!
603. Books for the blind, long before this electronic age
604. Singers
605. That I met Nana Mouskouri
606. And Richared Chamberlain
607. And Peter, Paul and Mary
608. The concerts I’ve been to
609. That there is SO MUCH MORE! I could keep writing on and on and on
610. But also that I’m stopping now
611. And - that I did spend this time doing this today

My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. This: It was a gift they could never love her entirely -
for then she was forced to do it herself.
~ Terri St. Cloud_______________

2. Good long visit with my mother tonight (writing this on Monday night)
3. Nice time on phone with A
4. That didn’t send the very angry email to O.
5. Or even the shorter, nice one. Let her “mull it over” as I was advised. (long story – doesn’t matter here).
6. Tuesday morning now
7. I am grateful that although I couldn’t fall asleep until 3 – very unusual for me – and awakened with the words “God help me” before I could even think, that within minutes I felt better. I am grateful for that!
8. And a chat with my mother this morning
9. And my sweet birdies flying around right now
10. And the smile they just brought me
11. And the beautiful Rachmaninoff piece I’m going to try
12. And starting my exercise program today
13. And my coffee, with organic chocolate soy milk this morning. I am so lucky
14. I have organic greens in the house
15. And organic carrots
16. And organic BLACK PLUMS!!!!!!
17. Wow. This is for me: Happy Birthday HERMANN HESSE (1877-1962)
"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."
18. This! _____

19. This. I think this is just HUGE________

20. _____

21. I just got a GIANT smile from A’s coming on and saying hi to me
22. Maha
23. M
24. St
25. MA
26. _______
27. Looking at sunset conures. I find them so beautiful. I feel in love with one irl. But they are difficult to have – I could never. But oh, so beautiful!
28. Laughter
29. Trees
30. The book Earthing. I haven’t read it. But it interests me. Maybe I shall.
31. Time to read.
32. Summer
33. And Summer my birdy
34. And of course Jewel
35. Oh my gosh this: ________________

If you can recognise the signs and symptoms then you can take steps to reduce the effects and bring everything back into balance.

Here's show: Give yourself some time every day just for you. Get out in the sunshine, learn to put a smile on your face and learn some coping mechanisms. Some of my favourites are relaxation and breathing techniques, listening to music that soothes your soul, exercise that allows you to release and vent whatever it is you are holding on to, getting a massage and ensuring you’re getting good nutrition.

During times of stress I make sure my vitamin intake is not forgotten, especially the B group vitamins to ensure my nervous and immune systems are able to function effectively. I drink more Black Adder Liquorice herbal tea (a great tonic for the adrenal glands). Yoga, Pilates and meditation are vital strategies in helping me to cope during stressful times. I also allow my emotions to be expressed so that I am not suppressing them.

Learn to control the stress instead of allowing it to control you!

~ Living from the Inside Out ~
36. I am a free person. I am so so grateful for that
37. And to A for teaching me that
38. Rachmaninoff Opus 32 No. 5
39. I am grateful that I can practice piano
40. That I can have my piano tuned soon
41. That I can walk
42. And walk for exercise
43. And do other exercises
44. That I have never had a stroke
45. Forests
46. My haircut this time
47. And color too (my natural color but without the grays)
48. Water to drink
49. Water to wash dishes
50. Water to wash clothes
51. Water to bathe
52. Water to shower
53. Water to wash hands
54. Water to flush toilet
55. Water to give to birdies
56. Water in which to swim in the sound
57. Water in which to swim in pools
58. That I have swum in the Hudson River
59. Off what was “our” boat! (Many years ago in a different lifetime)
60. I am so very grateful that I can see
61. And speak
62. Windows
63. Grass
64. Tiger lilies
65. Lilacs
66. Rhododendron
67. Electricity
68. I did my work at work yesterday
69. And – now I have time off
70. My principal likes me
Moonlight Serenade
"We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life,
of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide
and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return.
We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity;
when the only continuity possible, in life as in love,
is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense
that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass,
but partners in the same pattern."~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Artist~Christiane Vleugels _________________

71. Hmmm ____________

72. Art
73. Museums
74. I might be at two tomorrow
75. The express bus
76. Books.
77. That I can read
78. That I help others to read and understand what they are reading (not just sound out words)
79. That I have had good loving sex in my life
80. And – may have more…
81. Movies. I think I’ll go to one very soon
82. Maybe with M
83. I am grateful for my hands
84. That I have never been struck by lightning. Really. Am praying for someone right now who was: (
85. Lawyers with integrity
86. Everyone with integrity
87. That I can drive. I remember when I was very young, and afraid to.
88. I HAVE accomplished a lot, given my early damages!
89. I have a Masters degree
90. And am at the top of my profession
91. And have had love.
92. More than once
93. And have good close long-term friends
94. I am learning how to care for myself
95. I no longer have the phobias
96. I would never let someone hit me now
97. I have never done drugs. I tried pot a couple times when young, but you know. Nothing really
98. I have always cared about helping children
99. And animals
100. And done something about both
101. I have volunteered
102. I can play piano
103. I can type
104. I did not ever really hurt myself
105. Didn’t mutilate myself. I’m not kidding. I used to feel I needed to.
106. Didn’t kill myself. Thank God.
107. HAVE given to my mother
108. Have patience
109. And empathy
110. And kindness
111. Compassion
112. Integrity
113. Keep confidences
114. Continue to read
115. And to educate myself in life not just books
116. I know I am way behind in a million things and even bigger, in a million ways. But I HAVE always managed to get ENOUGH done in TIME.
Very serious gratitudes. Thank you, God.

My 100 Gratitudes Today

1. M intervening during my fight with O last night. It was bad and I almost didn’t get to go perform, or even speak with her again. Thank goodness for M.
2. L just called to see how it went
3. On phone with M now
4. That she exercised today (for her sake)
5. Sun. now. Had long lesson with O.
6. And she introduced me to amazing music. Lots of it
7. And I came home and found the Rachmaninoff too. Which was too hard for me like 2 – 3 years ago. But isn’t now!
8. Great talk with MA on phone
9. And with M earlier
10. I love my girlfriends, MA and M
11. And St
12. And O
13. And Mah
14. This______
15. And this______
16. Tchaikovsky
17. Rachmaninoff
18. Feltsman
19. Beethoven
20. Schumann
21. Chopin
22. Mozart
23. Bach
24. Scarlatti
25. Villa Lobos
26. Schubert
27. Nice people
28. My birdies
29. Sharing with O and her hubby stories back and forth about birds (they have a parrot)
30. About to go meet MA at bookstore now
31. Birdies got right back into cage
32. It is Monday. Uh oh. Must do the 100 EVERY day. Okay. So now.
33. Talking with A right now
34. Saw MA yesterday
35. At bookstore
36. Bought 3 things wanted
37. Will buy 4th today
38. Then M called and asked about dinner!
39. So the TWO of us (they both agreed and love each other too) met for dinner!
40. Had wonderful time! Yay!
41. Then great phone talk with m after all that! Love love love
42. She considers me her family
43. And MA says don’t worry about not having family. You can be closer to friends who become your real family. I hope M stays mine: )
44. Roseanne show repeats. I don’t know why. I don’t care why. But they put me in a good mood.
45. Doing grats.
46. Custodian doing me a favor at work today. Phew.
47. Also I’ve arranged to have my room reversed for Sept. That will be a nice new start
48. **********that I awakened remembering something ELSE about how miserable I was when with J. That is good for me.
49. Might be able to go to museum with L (as friend) Wednesday
50. I have copies of music with Vladimir’s Feltsman’s writing on it! That he wrote to my teacher!
51. My Beethoven 7 degrees of separation: Beethoven
taught Czerny, who taught
Lizst, who taught
Zilot, who taught
Zak, who taught
Feltsman, who taught
my teacher who teaches
me
52. That means his influence IS there
53. That I felt the other night my connection to piano
54. And to birdies
55. And to girlfriends, precious girlfriends
56. I am, really, a free person
57. My hands
58. Less pain than yesterday
59. Ability to drive
60. My happy birdies talking about ¼ inch from each other’s faces right now
61. That they are best friends
62. That O’s husband pointed out to me the other night, that not only did I do myself a favor and them in terms of already loving each other and not having to adjust to new roommate by keeping them together
63. But I also kept them from being separated and alone! Yay
64. That I will get to make copies of my music today
65. And have a lesson for fingering and such
66. And do my mother’s shopping
67. And pay her people
68. And have a bit of fun
69. And put out some garbage for collection
70. Leaders and followers
71. That my spine and neck are healthy.
72. That my pain reminds me of how lucky I actually am. Can move…
73. Love. All forms of love in my life
74. All forms of love of this earth
75. People who don’t hurt animals
76. Music
77. This_____
78. Skirts
79. Shoes
80. Sandals
81. My hair looks so good this week yay
82. Mascara
83. Lipstick
84. Hope. Hope hope hope hope hope
85. God
86. That I have chances in life
87. Am young enough
88. Got compliments after recital. Sincere ones
89. And gorgeous roses
90. That I do let my birdies fly
91. So much!
92. Laughter
93. Humor
94. Smiles
95. Children
96. Air
97. Trees
98. The earth is a miracle
99. The moon and starts to see at night
100. Sunshine on me felt so good Saturday
Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart we still cling to anything- anger, anxiety, or possessions- we cannot be free.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh