Grat

I have had – an experience.

It was Thursday night.

I gave Open House. And felt VERY bad afterward.

Usually this does not happen to me.

I was standing in the room with about 40 adults. Two men were okish. EVERYONE ELSE was beautiful. Every man and every woman. Gorgeous. And healthy

And married

And parents

And rich.

And like in their 30’s.

I. Felt. Like. Shit.

I felt fat and ugly and old.

I came home to my little tiny house in the neighborhood that’s changing, and house needing so much work, and I felt SO bad.

Stayed up til 12:30 (WAY too late for me!). Feeling VERY bad.

Usually I don’t have that problem of comparing that way.

This was not good.

But

And here are the gratitudes

By the next day, I had more energy than I’ve EVER had after Open House. And I attribute that to exercise and Shakeology.

And I felt better.

By yesterday after school, and it’s gone now but I think I can remember it: I felt like, “Who needs J? He wants me or now. I’m not even sure I want him. I could have a better life.”

That is HUGE for me!

HUGE!!

I am so happy to have felt that!

I actually was in the car and felt:

Like

A

PERSON!

I never really did.

Now

I

Um

Do.

Wow

SO grateful for that!

Doing something now that takes me out of comfort zone and will tell about it tomorrow.

Yay

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!