Friday, June 1, 2012
Feelings Work
I feel:
Scared about L. Of all things! While my MOTHER is in the hospital!
Scared about whatever will be going on with her, how she feels, AND, I say with shame, what I might have to do for her.
Grateful for L in my life
BUT - needing to back up a little, as I think he has, and is taking me for granted. I don't want to play games.
But I think I have been TOO effusive. And made him think I am not as much of a prize as I used to believe I was and he did too.
Then again, he's come to care so much for me while I HAVE been effusive.
Glad I paid the 15 dollars for that ebook which might help me.
Grateful for that phone psychiatrist's advice.
Open to the day.
CONFUSED!
FIVE GOOD THINGS ABOUT ME:
1. I am honest
2. I am trustworthy
3. I am interesting
4. I am emotionally available
5. I am self-honest
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Honey: If you ever meet a man who DOESN'T have problems, let me know. Because it will be a first. Now, there are degrees. And you DON'T need a super high maintenance, difficult, ungrateful, or whatever guy. But perfect? Ain't gonna happen. Regardless, you sound so GOOD. I like the idea of backing off a bit - not so much because of the game-playing "hard to get" aspect, but because you need to be with YOU. Critical time - critical path and all that. Don't get too wrapped up in him. I'm sure he's wonderful, but take a deep breath and temper your time with HIM with your time with YOURSELF. There, your unasked or advice. Sending love. Am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteEJ you are a gift from heaven. My gosh, I can't believe it you're so good to me.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
It is beautiful to see you here. And your advice is amazing.
I love you.
Thank you so much for being proud of me.
I love you again.