My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. That I managed to do what I had to do for my mother last night 2. That I did come home and sleep 3. That the nurse said to 4. And the doctor said to 5. That j said maybe if I weren’t there every second, like all the other times, she would think more about getting some help 6. That L. told me of the help that’s available, the one I didn’t know about 7. That apparently I’m ready to bump up to yet the next step in taking care of myself 8. That I had nice talk with S last night 9. And I have a good new ebook 10. Readings like for Today 11. And Voices of Recovery 12. And In This Moment 13. And The Language of Letting Go 14. Talking to M. right now on the phone. So grateful for that. 15. 3 more weeks of school. Phew. Finally. 16. Summer IS coming. 17. God 18. Lunches. Every day of my life that I want it, I have lunch. 19. All the fun-for-the-kids help that M gives me 20. And that she’s giving me access to her files this summer! Oh my gosh, what a gift! 21. Phones 22. J’s support last night. 23. M’s support last night. 24. L’s too late but nice when he got it support last night. 25. That I didn’t sleep at the hospital, for once. 26. And that I expect I AM going in to work today. 27. L. just emailed me. 28. I might not see L. this weekend. And although I WANT to, I think this is better for our relationship. I am TOO accessible. 29. That I can cook 30. And I have a stove 31. With burners and an oven. 32. And a microwave 33. And a fridge 34. That I have a whole grain English muffin 35. And it is in the toaster oven right now. 36. That I even HAVE a toaster oven. 37. That I am a self-supporting adult 38. And sat here like such, last night, enjoying a little glass of wine. 39. That I’m finally- FINALLY – starting to feel even MORE like a functioning adult, 40. a professional, 41. an example to those younger. 42. Rather than tap-dancing, “Am I good enough now? Am I good enough now?” 43. That I THINK I am brave enough to go into this weekend alone. 44. Some time to do what need for mother. 45. And to FINALLY put MYSELF FIRST. 46. Clean up 47. Practice piano 48. Do some French 49. Read some 50. Cook some 51. Walk some 52. Be okay 53. ANOTHER part of me says, see L from about 3 Sat through 12 Sun, with S and J for dinner Sat also. BUT – M says no. Let him miss you for a weekend. 54. Tv this morning. 55. Sitcoms 56. News magazine type morning shows. 57. I am grateful for the grace I have now, to say before meals. And this is it, pretty much: This food is a gift of the earth. And the sky, raindrops, cloud, sunshine, breeze. May I eat it in gratitude for those it took to get it to me, especially the farmers. May I eat it in moderation, to reverse the process of global warming. May I eat it in joy. May I see the cloud in my food. 58. That I said it with/in front of L. a couple of times 59. And last weekend in the restaurant with L and S and J 60. And they responded so well. 61. And J said, “That is a grace I could SAY.” 62. And that it does help me. 63. That I am finding myself a little bit. 64. And that although I haven’t lost a pound in 2 months, I haven’t gained. 65. And I think I’m ready to lose again. 66. Realistically. 67. The piano lessons I had as a child 68. How I loved Miss Unger 69. And how Mrs. Burgess became a force in my lfe 70. Exercise. 71. Every bit I’ve ever done 72. and do. 73. Being out of coffee this morning made me feel bad. But I have a store RIGHT AT MY CORNER! 74. And that I went to it 75. And got coffee 76. And for tomorrow too 77. And I had blueberry coffee today. Amazing. 78. And that it was so beautiful out. 79. And helped my mood a little too 80. And reinvigorated me to get outside 81. And especially maybe in the morning 82. Bloomberg’s new idea that restaurants have to put 32 ounce drinks in two glasses. I think that’s terrific! 83. That I am fighting my obesity. 84. That the kids like their lunches 85. That M is having such a great time with her girls 86. That I gave her the money gift to use at Hershey Park 87. That people are working against childhood obesity. 88. Moderation. The concept of moderation. 89. That I have a bit more of it in some ways than I used to. 90. Matt Lauer on the Today Show. I like him on that show. 91. I have THREE calligraphies by Thich Nhat Hahn! 92. And – that money went to the orphans! 93. Books 94. Videos 95. DVDs 96. CDs 97. Exercise DVD’s 98. Exercise bands 99. Picture frames 100. Love.Wherever I have love in my life.