Law of Attraction Relationship

I do not care what ANYONE thinks of this.

And that in ITSELF is great! A real growth for me!

I put years - YEARS of thinking and BELIEVING and ACTING ON the thoughts that J. wouldn't want me and would leave me

And guess what? It happened.

*I* got worse and worse. Phobic. Uglier in my appearance and dress etc. Smaller in existence while bigger in fatness....

I am not saying he didn't have his input of negatives. I can only address my OWN.

So

Now

I have become DETERMINED 

to STOP putting my energies into things I DON'T want - like dating sites and being alone

and put some into what I DO want - being ok and wonderful and marvelous alone for NOW and being with J. I am putting my all into this til sometime summer. But NEVER stopping the positivity for the rest of my life.

My life has already been so different since last Sunday.

And awakened today after EXTREME and EXTREMELY VIVID nightmares (even the almost-never-in-my-life monsters kind) yet NOT depressed! Had lemon water then coffee with cinammon and a nice large SALAD.

Am feeling *energetic!* Wonderful! Yay!

I am about to go shop for MA,

then for me,

then cook two things,

then visit mother!

I am, in the interest of full disclosure, not a vegan now this week. Have been eating locally grown, organic, free-range eggs.

Now then:

I felt funny when I took over J's closet.

Well, along with law of attraction, I was RIGHT to feel funny. According to what I WANT.

Ex. the woman in the book The Power who always wanted to go to Europe. Did NOT have the money. So she bought a passport (did not have money to buy a ticket) and started collecting things for that trip. Well long story short, she is now married and LIVING in Spain!

So

I am going to empty that closet and keep it for J. Yes. I am

And I have bought these new glasses - for me - but also these parfait type - with the picture in mind that I can put together nice little things for him when he comes here for visit

I have also now been thinking of and collecting recipes to make for me and him when he's here. 

And - by keeping house better, will be better for this wish as well.

As will eating at the table

And getting the person (paid) to do the things that need doing around here

And looking better dressing etc (which started for ME)

Including for example comfortable shoes yes, but PRETTY

And smile

...

Yes. 

I am going to be doing these things.

And I hope no one speaks out against them.

I KNOW this is right for me.

And I feel SO MUCH better.

AND - it is the only hope.

I MUST do it.

As well as many other things for self from that Law of Attraction concept.