My 100 Grats

1.      I am so grateful for my sweet chirpy birds

2.      And how good I am to them, may I only get better and better

3.      I think I’ll be able to afford the LITTLE things I need done around here.

4.      By spring the place should be in order

5.      J coming for dinner Sunday.

6.      Coffee

7.      7-11 coffee especially. Maybe I should be a coffee maker and make it. I’ve been drinking instant 99% + of the days, and like 8x a year treating myself to 7-11 coffee. But if it’s that important to my mood helping, maybe I should make it here. (It doesn’t work in my coffee maker – grounds are too fine and it just pours out). I will CONSIDER it anyway.

8.      That I HAVE a salary

9.      Hope about J

10.   W contacted me yesterday. I am grateful to hear from him.

11.   And that we are now clear I won’t be seeing him.

12.   I am grateful for the Chopra Meditation 21 day challenge

13.   And that it came along right now.

14.   And that I did it yesterday

15.   And I floated. I’m not kidding. It is a feeling like I’m floating. It has only happened to me once before: after Reiki.

16.   Two times I have had that feeling. What a gift!

17.   That within SECONDS of meditating, I am changed. I am there. I AFFECTS me. So beautifully. I am SO FORTUNATE! (I must not skip days! And pretty much don’t now)

18.   It is cold today. And I HAVE A COAT!!!!               Unlike last year. SO glad I have a coat

19.   So glad I bought it!

20.   And that I bought that cute beret.

21.   And that warm hat!

22.   And gloves!

23.   And a scarf! I am really glad!!!!! I won’t freeze at recess.

24.   AND – it means I’m taking better care of myself.

25.   I don’t want to put myself down anymore. “I’m this age and yet… … … “ NO! I am doing the best I can. And I have grown a lot. And the past is the past. And I can’t do anything about it.

26.   Toys for the birdy boys

27.   The DASH diet

28.   That if you lived here for a week you would never know I’m on a plan! It is that “normal.”

29.   Organic oatmeal 1 cup with cinnamon and measured fruit

30.   I never thought I’d say it but plain soymilk

31.   My mood right now. 6:22 am as I am here on # 30, and my mood is upbeat.

32.   Whole wheat Eng. muffin with banana. I get to have that this morning even on DASH!

33.   “It is what it is.” Like, I’m nervous about my MRA (like an MRI but carotid artery) later.  But – it is what it is. Not facing it won’t help. So I shall deal throughout my teaching day with dignity. And then I shall drive there and do it. The end.

34.   And then I shall come home and have healthy DASH friendly dinner.

35.   Wed. now. That I have water

36.   I have never been in a deadly earthquake

37.   Or a deadly typhoon

38.   Or a deadly hurricane

39.   Or a deadly tornado

40.   I could not get through the MRA yesterday. I have to go back with a Valium. Time is of the essence. Oh boy. So what is the gratitude here? It is that I got sick earlier this school year. Which prompted me to see the dr, who had all these things. At least maybe there’ll be time to deal with them.

41.   Wow. This is hard today. I must do it. Oh yes, there are millions. Okay. I am grateful for the current Chopra Medidation Challenge 21 days that started day before yesterday (and anyone can join for free any day)

42.   I am grateful that I sleep

43.   Decent dreams last night

44.   Coffee right now.

45.   And not out, at store, paying more for it yesterday or today.

46.   The amazing energy I had at work yesterday.

47.   This coffee and being up is changing my mood this morning. I awakened with words “I can’t do anymore.” I can’t help it when that happens! I really can’t. But just now, walking to kitchen, what came out of my mouth was, “I can do this.”

48.   Humor

49.   Facebook

50.   Tv

51.   Prayer

52.   Reiki

53.   Meditation with the children – 2 minute “breathing game” every day.

54.   Thich Nhat Hanh

55.   Cabs

56.   Valium when needed

57.   Staying positive more.

58.   Staying positive when and how I do

59.   Staying positive at work

60.   And around my mother

61.   Although my mother’s having started to forget is frustrating to her, in another way it is a blessing. She is forgetting only a little – and it seems to be things she can’t handle get forgotten more easily and I’m grateful for that. (It is not Alzheimers but it is real – physical not psychological. Too long a story to get into here)

62.   Her aide, M.

63.   Exercise. Every bit of it that I get. (May I continue to get more and more).

64.   Wood floors

65.   My outdoor mall having been revamped so once again it is not seedy. It wa for a few years.

66.   That I am interested in that for walking not shopping.

67.   COLD out again. REALLY glad I bought a coat!

68.   And gloves

69.   And scarf

70.   And hat

71.   And earmuffs

72.   Books

73.   My book group

74.   Good doctors

75.   Medicines as needed

76.   More and more health? Won’t need so many? Yay I think I’ll go with THAT

77.   Veganism

78.    Vegetarianism

79.   meatless Mondays in so many places

80.   that I didn’t go crazy with food last night, despite my stress which felt actually overwhelming

81.   I am grateful for this job

82.   Not just that I have a salary but that it keeps me sane for those hours each day. This is HUGE!

83.   And I get to help children. Which I’ve always wanted to do.

84.   And that I SO didn’t WANT to have to work, or to work at that time when had to get job. Because THAT is evidence that sometimes things I think are terrible will be ok …

85.   My IM chat with A right now (other window)

86.   Not all alone in that sense at least.

87.   Valium. It will get me through this test. (It will have to)

88.   My dr who’s prescribed it

89.   Oh dear Thurs morning now! I got through the test!

90.   And 1 Xanax helped.

91.   I have so grateful that I don’t have alchohol or drugs dependencies.

92.   For example, taking like 2 Xanax a YEAR has them work tremendously for me within 5 minutes! Thank God for that.

93.   I even smiled in there

94.   And said a Rosary (in my head and on my fingers – no metal of course in there)

95.   This morning, I feel that whatever it is, I will just deal with it.

96.   I am SO GRATEFUL that I WANT to function.

97.   Am ENJOYING functioning. (I remember when I wanted to sort of hide out from life).

98.   That I gave my students such a very happy learning day yesterday

99.   I just wrote a beautiful letter for our new librarian. She is marvelous!!!!!!! And it is only the second letter I have ever sent to principal or assistant superintendent of personnel in 26 years! So it should mean something!

100. 7-11 coffee today. Treated myself by picking it up on way home from hospital last night.