Perfect. I needed this today!

_______________________

Dear God,
Thank you.
I had SUCH a hard time before.
Am STLLL a speckle away from worrying about tomorrow...
But feel so very very much better than did, and than could have.
Thank you.
Praise to you.
Amen.

Happy Easter - and to those who don't do Easter, Happy Day

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. That I sat with Thich Nhat Hanh in Trafalgar Square.
2. That it was a sit-in for peace
3. That I sat so close to him in the other outdoor spot in Londone, and we looked in each other’s eyes
4. That I now make little versions of sort-of picture walks for mySELF
5. My morning times.
6. Spiritual
7. And quiet.
8. Except for the lovely sound of the birds
9. Outdoors and now in!
10. That my birdies seem to like each other so much
11. And that I found them that way and let it largely influence my selecting them
12. That they are singing right now.
13. I am grateful for my salary
14. And the few dollars in the bank
15. And that I am able to work
16. And drive
17. And walk
18. And see
19. And talk
20. And breathe
21. That L is here. It is hard. I do not want him here. BUT it will help me a LOT with seeing my mother today!
22. That I AM doing this for her.
23. The fb page “realforbeauty” which is really about health, not beauty
24. That I had good piano
25. That the birds are singing so much to this Bach keyboard concertos by Feltsman
26. And that it is so beautiful
27. Mendelssohn
28. My friend O
29. And M
30. And that I was at Ms last night
31. And had some time with her little daughter
32. And saw slightly older one too
33. Thai food
34. Italian food
35. Weight watchers
36. Gyms
37. My birds
38. A’s humor
39. That I am not in a concentration camp
40. That I have this laptop
41. Music itself
42. Fb posts that are beautiful to look at
43. Those that are inspirational
44. Meditation
45. Meditation with the kids
46. That I am not in prison
47. That I have not taken any actions that would land me in prison
48. That maybe for mother’s day I can get together with also s and a’s family or o and b
49. The singing of my birds
50. Birdsong outside waking me in the morning too
51. That I’ve straightened up
52. And have clean laundry
53. And dishes
54. And glasses
55. And cups
56. And mugs
57. Watches
58. Clocks
59. Thich Nhat Hanh
60. London
61. That I was there last year on this very day
62. And that I sat in Trafalgar Square at a sit-in for peace with Thich Nhat Hanh (and thousands of other people)
63. That maybe that influenced some people….
64. That I have all my teeth
65. Beaches
66. Good movies
67. That M just called
68. Eyesight
69. Easter
70. That L. is here for E
71. This blog
72. You!
73. Every person who ever reads this
74. Pizazz
75. Bling (not kidding)
76. Humor
77. Water to drink
78. Water for tea
79. And for coffee
80. And for swimming
81. And pools as well as what I call “God water”
82. That I made fresh coffee today
83. That I will get organic bird food today! THAT’S lucky
84. And have made reservations at restaurant
85. And will give my mother a nice meal
86. And that s called me
87. And that al. is such a peaceful man
88. That I own my piano
89. And with no credit due
90. That in less than a year my house will FINALLY be paid off!
91. Good books
92. My Nook too
93. But real books too
94. My iPad
95. And that we used it today
96. Stones from the river
97. And the ones in my lamp
98. “Poem in Memory of Sergei Esenin”
99. L’s kind hands
100. Sviridov (who composed “Poem in Memory of Sergei Esenin)

Readings - The Language of Letting Go

Experiment

Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.

We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.

As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.

Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.

Some things we just won't like. That's good. Then we'll know a little more about who we are and what we don't like.

Some things we will like, they will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life enriching.

There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.

There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to test the water.

Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, and experimentation.

Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.

Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you won't like it. Maybe you'll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you'll discover something you love.

Today, I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. I look at just the products I have in my bathroom, and am amazed at how much I have. I have soap.
2. And even vegan soap.__
3. And shampoo
4. And hair conditioner
5. And 2 in 1 soap and conditioner.
6. I have toothpaste – 2 different kinds
7. And a toothbrush
8. And floss
9. I have liquid soap too
10. And a medicine cabinet
11. And a mirror
12. And a vanity cabinet
13. I have aspirin
14. And a thermometer
15. And covers for it
16. I have a razor shaver
17. And shaving cream
18. And hand cream
19. And matches
20. And Lysol
21. And hairspray (that I rarely use but I have it)
22. And mousse (that I rarely use but I have it)
23. I have a plunger (that I wouldn’t know HOW to use lol but I have it)
24. I have bath towels
25. And huge towels
26. And hand towels
27. Washcloths
28. Stipling that was put on the ceinling for me out of love.
29. Wallpaper that was put up for me in love
30. A sink
31. A toilet
32. A bathtub
33. A shower head
34. A bath mat
35. Pepto Bismal
36. Toilet tissue
37. Wet wipes
38. Shih tzu mug for my toothbrush. J bought it
39. Nice light fixtures on walls
40. Grounded electricity
41. And I have a hair dryer blow dryer.
42. And facial cleanser
43. I am glad that I don’t expect to have to ever struggle not afford food for the birds
44. And that today I shall even give them some more organic greens
45. I am grateful that I had half an hour singing to and “hand” (at end of stick) feeding the birdies last night
46. And that usually although they are quiet when no tv or music on in the house, they have been singing this morning
47. And that good Friday is over. I am.
48. I am grateful for the things I have in this den. That I HAVE a den.
49. My Kandinsky calendar
50. Desk
51. Lamp
52. Tv
53. Vcr
54. Stand
55. Birds
56. Cage
57. That it is a flight cage
58. Picasso print
59. Round wooden thing
60. Bookshelves
61. Sophisticated sofa
62. Little table
63. Closet
64. Magazines
65. Books
66. Laptop
67. Wood floow first shih tzu pic and foot print. We rescued her
68. Painting done for me by 3rd gr. Student
69. And another by another one
70. And a third by yet another one!
71. Great pic with great saying on wall
72. Pretty color walls
73. Light fixture on ceiling, that I love
74. And one on wall too
75. 2 windows
76. sort of natural shades
77. eye drops
78. meds
79. dust mop Swiffer like thing. (needed for under bird cag! Lol – feathers, seeds,…)
80. that I can type
81. that I did it – got these birds
82. that I am taking care of them
83. that last year, this exact time, these dates, I was in London
84. *I * have been to Europe!
85. That I am stronger than I used to be
86. prayer
87. mindfulness meditation
88. Reiki
89. I have begun, just yesterday lol, to believe that I WILL eventually find a man to spend time with, who has the things most important to me: nobility, appreciation for or at least acceptance of my spirituality, compassion, thoughtfulness, romance, sex, cherish me, support self, smart, and funny or at least fun, like spending time together. I do.
90. God
91. Jesus
92. Thich Nhat Hanh
93. That I honor Good Friday, even though it’s hard for me
94. That M. will probably come to my recital! Yay
95. That O. MAY come on retreat with me.
96. That I am grateful
97. That my kitchen is clean
98. That my bathroom is clean
99. That I have laundry done
100. Singing
101. That the birds love when I sing to them
102. Music
103. Piano
104. That my practice is going well now: )

Today

__________

Good Friday ( I am a buddhist , raised Catholic, and do have Christian beliefs)

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
May I be forgiven. Especially for my weaknesses and fears, my judgementalism and selfishness. But above all, my fear. Because faith and fear do not really co-exist well.
May I be forgiving. Just as I want to be forgiven.




“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"
But He hadn't. And He hasn't forsaken me either. What I go through does not compare to what Our Lord went through.




Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
May I do the same. Always.


I did something SO HARD.
So hard, that I have avoided it for almost 5 months, at great cost:(
PARALYZED. Couldn't think straight, see straight (literally) keep track, nothing. Terrified.
It doesn't matter the whats.
At 3:00 today, I faced it.
I faced it and did it, shaking the whole time.
Because if Jesus could do that for me, I could do what I'm supposed to do for me, John, and my mother and her other loved ones.
Thank you, Jesus.

"Peace I give to you.
My peace I leave with you.
I'm always with you.

Not as the world gives peace.
Do I give my peace to you.
For you are in the world and the world knows you not." rest of lyrics coming. will find

Journal

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels or any other way you can manage it. It's the healthiest thing a body can do.
—Mark Twain

And now, I take 3 hours or so to devote to what I should, my God.

Reading - The Language of Letting Go. [I really need THIS!]

Getting Needs Met

Picture yourself walking through a meadow. There is a path opening before you. As you walk, you feel hungry. Look to your left. There's a fruit tree in full ripe. Pick what you need.

Steps later, you notice you're thirsty. On your right, there's a fresh water spring.

When you are tired, a resting place emerges. When you are lonely, a friend appears to walk with you. When you get lost, a teacher with a map appears.

Before long, you notice the flow: need and supply, desire and fulfillment. Maybe, you wonder, someone gave me the need because someone planned to fulfill it. Maybe I had to feel the need, so I would notice and accept the gift. Maybe closing my eyes to the desire closes my arms to its fulfillment.

Demand and supply, desire and fulfillment -- a continuous cycle, unless we break it. All the necessary supplies have already been planned and provided for this journey.

Today, everything I need shall be supplied to me.

Reading - Food for Thought

Slow Success

We say that there are no failures in OA, only slow successes. Some of us take longer than others to catch on to the program. It is important to keep trying, to continue to attend as many meetings as possible, and to refuse to become discouraged.

There are some of us who spent months and years experimenting before we were finally able to accept abstinence and stay with it. Sometimes we left the program for a time, until we realized how much we needed OA and came back to try again.

When we have accepted the program and maintained abstinence, yet found weight loss to be extremely slow, it is easy to become discouraged. It helps to remember that we are not only losing weight--however slowly--we are also learning a new way of life. Our spiritual and emotional growth in this program is even more rewarding than the eventual weight loss. By living each day as it comes and working the Twelve Steps, we achieve the serenity and confidence that make us satisfied with slow success.

Mav I be granted patience and persistence.

Reading: Each Day a New Beginning

Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another.
—Ayn Rand

The struggle to love one another may be a daily one for us, and it is made more difficult because we are still stumbling in our attempts at self-love. Many of us have lived our whole adult lives feeling inadequate, dull, unattractive, fearing the worst regarding our relationships with others.

But this phase, this struggle, is passing. We see a woman we like in the mirror each morning. We did a task or a favor yesterday that we felt good about. And when we feel good about our accomplishments, we look with a loving eye on the persons around us. Self-love does encourage other love.

Self-love takes practice. It's new behavior. We can begin to measure what we are doing, rather than what we haven't yet managed to do, and praise ourselves. Nurturing our inner selves invites further expression of the values that are developing, values that will carry us to new situations and new opportunities for accomplishments, and finally to loving the woman who looks back at us every morning.

Self-love makes me vulnerable and compassionate towards others. It's the balm for all wounds; it multiplies as it's expressed. It can begin with my smile.

My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

_________

I am grateful:

"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."Ralph Waldo Emerson

1. my bird companions
2. they are happy when I wheel them in their flight cage into l.r. and play piano!
3. Some fun last night on vaca
4. Seeing M Sat
5. Seeing O Tuesday
6. Our lunch together
7. Our trip to Sephora
8. Where I didn’t buy anything
9. But got a birthday present
10. And our trip to L & T
11. Where I didn’t buy anything
12. That she is getting back with her husband
13. My dr. yesterday
14. Good session
15. Hope
16. Talk with J yesterday
17. Piano
18. Practicing
19. Did a econd millet time
20. And birdies came right to ti this time!
21. And ate
22. And stood on
23. And walked on
24. And came so close, and were eating so hard, tat I had to move my fingers
25. And are liking their cuttlebone now
26. And their bell toy
27. And their expensive wooden toy too
28. And they sleep on that most night – I find them there whin I uncover in morning
29. So cute! (not sure about ladder though – and think not mirror yet)
30. Their tails
31. And that I touched one
32. Good positive fb pages
33. My breath. So grateful for my breath
34. The Reiki I gave the other day
35. And what *I * got out of it too! As a side effect about which I’d forgotten!
36. That I am closest confidant to A
37. And he is one of closest to me. It is nice.
38. Good Friday now. I am grateful that I woke up feeling reverant
39. And prayed first thing
40. And wheeled the birds to the l.r.
41. And am here now myself too
42. And played piano for them
43. Grateful that I WILL do the terrifying-to-me mother stuff today
44. And that J will help asap too
45. That having coffee
46. That have friends
47. That M called
48. Baby animals
49. That I see videos of them on facebook
50. That there is hope
51. That I can breathe
52. That I can play some piano
53. That M is probably coming to the recital
54. That I can do Reiki
55. That I put on some sound so birdies will be more comfortable. Silence scares them. They kind of wait for trouble. I have read that too
56. That I think I have JUST ENOUGH stuff in their cage
57. And can switch it out too
58. That I have calligraphy from Thich Nhat Hanh
59. THREE of them! SO fortunate!
60. And the money went to the Vietnames orphans
61. And I got them in LONDON!
62. That last year at this time, I was in England. Oh so thankful for that
63. Fresh coffee this morning
64. That I have never once in my life had to think twice about having water. SO lucky!
65. That I am not all alone in cyber-space
66. That my life IS improved since I started this blog.
67. And should KEEP improving
68. That I have washer and dryer in my house
69. That I can type
70. And have all my fingers and fingertips. Some people don’t
71. The pillows I bought fo the l.r.
72. With red. I like red. And it brightens up the place. With the white too.
73. That I managed to put that rug down
74. That summer is coming
75. And chances are I shall be alive to enjoy it
76. And WILL enjoy it. I feel better even writing that
77. The good things my parents did for me. Like buying me the book “Sonnets from the Portuegese.” Them NOTICING what I liked
78. My father buying me the book on trees
79. And – on BIRDS! Because I ALWAYSA loved birds too!
80. My birdies singing right now. Nice.
81. That I managed to get that cage her that day! It was hard!
82. Learning
83. That I read so much when I was little
84. This:
85. That I have hair
86. That I have food
87. Salad. Organic salad. Mm
88. That I can really like and appreciate it now.
89. Presents
90. I took the whole day off yesterday from sort of everything!
91. Beautiful paintings of women
92. Oceans. May we keep them cleaner…
93. People who are working on helping our planet sustain us
94. Noble people
95. J. in my life
96. God
97. Good Friday
98. Easter
99. Open-minded people
100. Tolerant people
101. And my spirituality

Very Honest Prayer on Good Friday

Dear God,
Why did I awaken with such reverence today?
Is it because you're really there? Or am I psychologically brainwashed? I don't know.

But I offer this day to you.
I dread. Dread. The things I have to do today.
But look at what You did. For us. Including for me.
I shall do what I have to today.
I shall do it with love in my heart. And mostly, with hope.

Thank you, Jesus.
Amen.

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. The Health Expo yesterday
2. And that I went
3. And met L. there which was fine and nice
4. And got a couple of things.
5. And that I do need them.
6. Dinner at place I’ve never been before.
7. Had vegetable curry in mild green sauce.
8. And a great Japanese salad with like 5 different parts.
9. And a nice Argentinian Sherah Melbec wine.
10. And – dessert! Oh boy. Tofu cheesecake coconut. Yum.
11. Water.
12. The 13 block walk in the brisk weather
13. The car home
14. MA on phone right now.
15. And saying I am the one who will understand… what she’s going through
16. And I do.
17. My birdies, Summer, and Jewel.
18. Vegetables.
19. Fruits
20. That I treated my mother to grape juice, which she loves.
21. The inspiration and example that MA is to me.
22. Might be doing dinner with MA tonight!
23. Friendships
24. Vegan restaurants
25. Vegetarian restaurants
26. Restaurants that are almost vegan (some still serve a separate menu of fish)
27. My womanhood. Really
28. The men that have helped me to appreciate it too
29. Bodies
30. That my body was made to do so many things. Like see
31. Hear
32. Taste
33. Smell
34. Feel
35. It is Tues morning already. I am so grateful for so much. I’m grateful that I did my mother’s shopping yesterday.
36. And that on the way, in the car, I felt such a tremendous sense of well- being.
37. And she was in great shape yesterday
38. The special magical day I had with the birds yesterday. They took millet from the stick I was holding
39. And even came out on it like a perch
40. And then I wheeled them into the l.r. and played piano for them
41. Well, I mean I wheeled them in there while I practiced for an hour. And they seemed to love it.
42. Then later they were playing with their new toys. Two of them.
43. And playing and singing and seemed so happy.
44. That they bring me such joy.
45. That I gave Reiki to a friend.
46. And it wound up so great for me, too!
47. That I saw MA Sunday night
48. And we spent 4 hours together
49. And had a wonderful time
50. And a close time too.
51. And that she told me how much she loves me and how important I am.
52. And I told her too.
53. And she called yesterday to thank me for the special time…
54. And that M told me yesterday how she loves me very much.
55. And that on the way I stopped and bought the birds’ toys.
56. And I will rotate them every few weeks or so.
57. I might see O. for lunch today.
58. I love sex. But don’t want to be bothered right now. And am glad am not being, right now.
59. I am grateful that I have so much to “take fro granted.” Not grateful that I take it for granted – grateful that I have it. Like just getting up and walking in to other room
60. And uncovering birdies
61. And picking up eyeglasses
62. And can see
63. And can read with them
64. And picking up laptop
65. And it works
66. And the electricity works
67. And the coffee maker works
68. And there just IS a cup…
69. And water
70. And coffee
71. And refrigerated food
72. And a toilet. It needs to be fixed or replaced, but it is here and working enough
73. That spring (weather) is really coming.
74. And I can walk outside.
75. That I am not as phobic as I used to be
76. I was watching Golden Girls last night, rerun from what, the 90’s? late 80’s? And Blanche was complaining… aging… and Dorothy said, “Oh come on, Blanche. You’ve got your looks, your health, a couple o’ bucks in the bank, and friends who love you. And that’s more than a lot of people have.” And I thought, I do too. Well, I don’t so much think I’ve got my looks, but I’m not hideous. And I don’t have “money,” but I’m able to live. So yes: that applies to me too.
77. I think I chose the EXACT right two birds.
78. They seemed to be the two, out of three cages of birds, that really loved each other.
79. Okay. This is big. Gulp. Yesterday, I ate 2 eggs. I bought organic, free range cage free vegetarian…. And I cooked and ate them. Two of them. That means not vegan. But I did it because I had broken my veganism anyway, for CRAP! As I’ve “confessed” here. And I have been thinking about and wanting, and sort of craving an egg for the better part of TEN MONTHS! So yesterday, I decided, “If you ate crap, and it came from milk from a mistreated cow, for your obsessive-compulsive eating disorder, then you can eat a probably well-treated chicken’s egg for 10 months of craving and it is REAL food, not crap….”
80. And I don’t feel bad about doing it. A little mixed, but fine.
81. Don’t care about the “label.” And it was kind of freeing.
82. Mostly still do want to be vegan now though and grateful for that too.
83. Don’t feel so bad about myself for not being a great saver like my mother. I am a great worker.
84. I just walked through the house to get a Claritan, and thought/felt, “I am good ENOUGH.” Wow. That was a nice feeling.
85. Ionic thing. Device. You can see it at health fairs with the gunk in the basin from people’s feet. But it is NOT about “detoxing through the feet,” which is ridiculous. It is about ionic cleansing. And then you eliminate toxins over the next day or two. All I can say is I did it last weekend and had two amazing happy clean night’s sleep and two amazing happy cheerful good-outlook days.
86. And I did it this week again and had the same!
87. I have fruits and veggies here
88. Ate a beautiful organic orange yesterday
89. Two IM chats fun this am.
90. Gonna wheel birds to front of the little house while I do stuff – or at least while I practice
91. Fb page “romancing your soul
92. That I will clean today
93. And then it will be done (for this time)
94. Friends
95. Fresh coffee this am
96. That I sleep well
97. My l.r.
98. Humor
99. Breath
100. Ability to speak.

My Dear Birds and My Happiness

Miraculous beautiful day.

I just had a miraculous little event of joy
I held millet on a little stick and sang to the birds
and they didn't come near
and didn't
then a little nearer but still not

then Summer turned and said something to Jewel - they were together in the corner
and they both hopped over and started eating it as I held it

then after about 5 minutes, Jewel stepped out on it like a perch
they kept eating and both stood on it
looking at me and eating

Now they are playing and chirping

And I am filled with joy.

God's miraculous tiny little creatures learning to trust me.

--

And then
One hour ago after cleaning their cage and giving them 2 new toys and 3 organic baby spinach leaves,
I wheeled them to the l.r. by the piano and practiced for an hour.
They listened, looked, sang.
Are back in den and singing now.

And I am filled with joy yet again.

Earth and Us and Reiki-Like Beauty. Surprising Person Who Said It. Long Ago. Nice.

Gratitudes

We can only be said to be alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton Wilder

Grats to follow after piano practice:)

Mindful

No one knows why we are here. Stop trying to figure out the great mystery. The tea in front of you is getting cold. Drink it. Enjoy every drop of it. And dance. Dance until there is no more dancer, It is the dance without dancer. This is how great mystics dance. -Anam Thubten ______________

My birdies know it instinctively, and I KNOW doggie knows it - I've seen her do it a million times:)

My Bird Babies

They are happy, I think! And they chirp - a lot:)
When flight cage covered at night, they are quiet - but they chirp in daytime, particularly 7:30 - 9:30 pm, as far as I know now. I will know more next week, when am home more.

They did not seem to touch the grated apple.
But every day that I put them out, one or both eats the greens! Yay.
_________________


This weekend I will get for them:
pellets to add to their seed, as I hear that could be important
millet for a treat
a new toy
!

I love my babies!!

They actually bring joy to my heart and I hope I do to theirs as well!

March 22, 2013

____________________
J. didn't walk all over me. But he didn't want to be with me. Or maybe didn't want to be with himself. In either event, we - WEREN'T.
More like hiding out than living.
I must be okay without him.

____________________________
Right now, my joys come from my birds - joy in my heart. And piano - joy too.
And some from time with friends. Probably could use a little more of that...

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. The safety I’ve enjoyed in my life so far
2. My wedding day with J.
3. Our honeymoon
4. My birdies. I love them both so much.
5. My job
6. When I turn the faucet, I get water. That’s huge.
7. Toilet
8. Bathtub with shower
9. Basement with washing machine
10. And dryer
11. And place to hang clothes
12. Dishwasher
13. Tv
14. Stereo
15. Lamps
16. Heat
17. Air conditioning. All these things = I am very lucky
18. Birdsong in the morning has turned up in my gratitudes a number of times over the years. And now I have it right in my lwn home!
19. That they get along! : )
20. That I took the time to find two who got along
21. That they love when I play piano
22. That although I can’t point to any “revelations” or anything, I did better fro my dr’s visit yesterday
23. That I used to have such a NATURALLY beautiful figure
24. That I am eating better again now
25. That I got a nice big flight cage for the birdies
26. O.
27. That I am practicing piano
28. M
29. MA
30. St
31. That I have a piano in my classroom
32. These kids in this class!
33. Their parents too
34. Art
35. Music
36. Every concert I’ve ever been to. Including Nana Mouskouri with J and my mother. Oh I loved that one
37. And got to speak with her after and touch her hand and thank her for so many years of beauty she’s brought to my life
38. And Peter Paul and Mary 2 times.
39. And that I got to sit and chat with them after
40. Johnny Cash with Ji
41. Judy Collins with Ji
42. The Young Rascals as a little girl, with my father!
43. Judy Garland as a little girl with my parents, shortly before she died
44. Andy Williams just my parents and me, when I was a teen
45. And Michael LeGrande there too
46. Andre Watts
47. 2 operas
48. A few symphonies
49. George Crumb concert last April
50. Broadway shows I’ve seen, including last year “Nice Work if You Can Get It
51. Camelot
52. Sound of Music many times
53. Music Man with aunt
54. My Fair Lady few times not always on Broadway
55. Evita at dinner theater with J
56. South Pacific in D.C. with Ji
57. Child’s Play
58. 1776 just my father and me
59. Beethoven something or other with my piano teacher when I was young
60. Crosby Stills Nash and Young
61. Steve Martin
62. David Brenner and Teresa Brewer opened
63. That my birdies eat greens
64. That I do too lol
65. The ocean
66. The sky
67. Trees
68. People who plant trees
69. That my kiddies are so interested in our animal studies
70. My fingers
71. Typing
72. My legs
73. Walking
74. My eyes
75. Seeing
76. My ears
77. Hearing
78. That my car works
79. Hotel stays I’ve had
80. That I have been to Barbados
81. And Bermuda
82. And on a cruise
83. And to L.A.
84. And D.C.
85. And Philly
86. And Niagara Falls.
87. Twice
88. And England!!
89. L as my friend
90. A’s friendship too
91. That my dr agrees with me wanting to not date for next 3 months or four or so
92. And that he sees that it is different than isolating.
93. That I did decide to get these dear birds and add them to my life
94. And me to theirs
95. And am taking such good care of them
96. And always will
97. Compassion
98. Doggie
99. And that she is happy with J. Though I do miss her, I am so glad she is happy
100. And that maybe he is too. I want J to be happy
101. Enough money to live. This is HUGE.
Thank you, God.

Affirmations Plus

______________

______________

______________


And Why Not!:

______________

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. I am grateful that I just wrote and sent that email to A. It was hard and I don’t know what the reaction will be, but I can’t care. I did the right thing. Yay.
2. I am grateful for the children reading right now.
3. And for the website onemorestory.com.
4. And the woman I knew who thought of the idea for it.
5. And brought it around with paper books in big apron pockets to children in a cancer hospital.
6. And then together with her brother who was more techy than she, created this wonderful site.
7. First and second graders…. Love it.
8. I am grateful to her brother as well of course.
9. That I get to do a little med. with the children.
10. I am grateful for every single time I have acted with bravery.
11. Including the time when I saved my mother
12. And the other time when I saved my mother
13. And the time I saved my friend C.
14. And the fact that I was so good to J when he called the day after he left.
15. And telling L. I cannot date him anymore.
16. And writing that just now to A.
17. And facing my shit in therapy.
18. And getting here all those mornings when I barely can.
19. And getting through my after-accident PTSS.
20. And swimming!
21. And showing up for ww
22. And for zumba
23. And for gym machines
24. And answering phone when feel can’t
25. And doing mother’s shopping when feel can’t
26. And paying her bills when feel can’t
27. And mine too
28. And finding a way to get that flight cage home without calling for help, though shaking and praying the whole time
29. And showing up for OA
30. And starting this blog
31. And maintaining it
32. And doing grats every day (virtually every day)
33. And doing what’s right even when it’s so hard
34. And trying to “just do the next right thing.”
35. And being honest
36. That the kiddies asked me to play for them today.
37. And I did. While they were making their Flat Stanleys. Chopin. Gorgeous Nocturne.
38. And they applauded and loved it!
39. And then – they asked – could I play another!
40. And I did. Gorgeous Rachmaninof Elegie.
41. And I asked them in advance – the other one I have is very sad. I warned them. Asked them, “Can you take a sad one?
42. They said, “Yes! If YOU think it’s pretty. Do you?”
43. And I said yes, and played it. And they applauded and really liked it.
44. That are singing a curriculum related song with the piano too.
45. And really trying to learn it correctly
46. And asking me to play that too.
47. That I am a free person.
48. And will probably be loved one day…
49. And AM lovable
50. That I made it in today – hard
51. And didn’t call and cancel dr. – hard very!
52. That I gave the kdis a good day today
53. And have more planned
54. My cell phone
55. That I don’t hold it up to my ear much at all.
56. Tomorrow I will see my mother
57. Today dr. will come
58. Serious fb posts
59. And artistic ones
60. And funny ones too.
61. That L. is not like, harassing me with phone calls daily
62. That I like being here at work (maybe one day I’ll like being at home too)
63. My birdies!
64. That my piano practice IS going better.
More as soon as can get back

I just loved this - I want to try it even!

Illumined Ways with Sharon Fallon Shreve
Anoint Thy Self

As you prepare for bed each evening, anoint your sacred Self with a favorite essential oil or simply some pure water which you've blessed. Anoint your forehead and your heart for their thoughts of love and gratitude. Anoint your hands for the worked they've done, and anoint your feet for their sacred earth walk. Do so tenderly, with gentle, loving kindness. After all, you've managed to navigate thru another day of Earth School, and sometimes the terrain here can be mighty rough. ♥

Peaceful blessings ~ Illumined Ways with Sharon Fallon Shreve


and this:

Abuse No More
Benitta

♥ Long ago you came to the conclusion that you would never find a good solution to a problem you had. So you ceased calling it a problem and you just decided to live with it. This "problem" might be a conflicted relationship, a career rut, or something else that affects you more or less every day. But you don't have to live with it. You don't have to accept things the way they are - Pick yourself up. Move On. ♥

Just Sharing

________________ ____________________________________________

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. Heard the traffic report this am. As the parkway I would have taken had a one hour delay! So this way I didn’t take it: )
2. Got here safely. Roads were fine despite the snow
3. Felt that icy patch before would have fallen.
4. That the snow remover people finally came on time this time (today).
5. And remembered to do my car. Phew. I think they’ve finally got it
6. That there was a 2-hour delay.
7. And besides getting me here safely, that assured me time to clean the budgies’ flight cage.
8. And give them greens
9. And they ate some of their greens yesterday: ) (Although they eat their apple the day before…) But apparently like the rest of us, veggies and fruits are good for budgies – except avocado which is poison for them! And of course tiny pieces of the other things, grated…
10. That *I * have been eating veggies
11. And even chickpeas too, which I normally didn’t love but they are so good for me…
12. And staying on weight watchers
13. That I have pens
14. That I am practicing piano
15. And planning – gulp – to play in the next concert.
16. Flowers
17. Tomorrow is spring. Warmer weather WILL come…
18. That my car works.
19. Grasses
20. 2 meetings today yuck but should still have 35 mins. For practice at lunchtime…
21. That I did dishes and pots this morning
22. Summer
23. Jewel
24. That they are eating the little greens I give them
25. That Jewel is fine. Because yesterday I was a little concerned about the way he was moving his mouth.
26. Fb
27. Blog
28. YOU
29. These particular students
30. O and I wrote to each other about the recital today
31. That I did order that detox thing. Because my fatigue was gone Sun and Mon. And is back today. And I did the treatment on Sat…
32. That I said no to the concert ticket for tonight. I would have been FAR too tired tomorrow!
33. Email
34. Sitcoms
35. Bed. Yes. I am grateful that I have a bed.
36. And sofa
37. And phone
38. And water when I turn the tap. This is a true treasure
39. Birdsong. I have always been grateful for birdsong
40. Birds. I have always loved birds
41. Trees. I have always loved trees.
42. Water for swimming and looking at. I have always loved water.
43. That I feel like a mermaid when I “swim.”
44. Buddha
45. Thich Nhat Hanh
46. God
47. Prayer
48. Slowing down
49. Meditating for a couple of minutes today with my students
50. Bok choy
51. Broccoli rabe
52. Cabbage salad
53. Chickpeas with bulgur and cilantro and lemon or something
54. Fresh parsley
55. Collards
56. Potatoes
57. Onions
58. Black pep
59. And that when I put it all together, I get Portuegese potato soup
60. That I hear my birdies
61. That I do sleep at night
62. Meeting went well today
63. That I did go and talk to principal about grade level
64. “The Secret”
65. that I have eaten at Le Crique.
66. More than once
67. The fabulous Italian food I actually had in London. Best I ever had! Ha : )
68. Joyous music
69. That I didn’t pay for a car to go into the city today.
70. 20th century classical music. I never really knew of it before.
71. And 20th century art.
72. My wood floors
73. Contemporary design
74. Bathing suits
75. This laptop. I just love it. Have loved it since got it last summer.
76. My job.
77. Very very grateful THAT I am happy for my job
78. That I like giving to children.
79. That I am not burnt out, but revitalized.
80. That I am finally saving a bit.
81. Humor
82. Laughter
83. Smiles. Smiles smiles smiles
84. I am about to practice piano again
85. The names I picked for the birds: Summer and Jewel
86. Jewel tones
87. My new rose quartz bracelet. Rose quartz being about self-love. And wearing it around my wrist is good for me I think.
88. I am off next week.
89. About to practice piano
90. And do more dishes
91. Islands
92. That I have been to Barbados. With J.
93. And that it was paradise. We were so lucky.
94. And that I have been to Bermuda. With my parents.
95. And that we had a lot of nice times then, too.
96. I scraped my car today: ( But I didn’t get hurt.
97. And no one else did either.
98. Cold water from fridge.
99. That this weekend I will buy pellets to add to the birds’ food
100. And a new toy too. And that is luxury.

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. I made it into work today
2. Mondays are always good, *once I get there *
3. Elephants
4. Giraffes
5. Funny times
6. Sandwiches
7. Broccoli rabe
8. A good night’s sleep Sat.
9. A great night’s sleep last night
10. That A and I made up – he apologized – and we can be friends – with no fooling around at all
11. This: and 90 more makes 101:
1. That although I care about sex, I am not obsessed with it.
2. That I think I shall make love again. Make. Love. Someday… Within 6 months or something.
3. That I gave the kids a GREAT day today.
4. That they are so good
5. And endearing
6. That my piano practice is going so much better!
7. And is so therapeutic for me!
8. The amazing walking med we did today
9. And the great life-talk after. About living in the moment
10. Fb
11. And the posts with fabulous quotes from Winnie the Pooh!
12. And, as I had never read that book, but love these quotes, I took it from the library.
13. And I gave some background for them
14. And they were VERY interested! They knew the cartoons – but didn’t know the book!
15. And now I’m reading it to them
16. And they’re LOVING it!
17. And I am too.
18. And that I told them the truth – that everything I read to them, or any class, I’ve read of course. But not this. So we’d be discovering it together! Fun!
19. That I feel like that detox treatment did something for me. I slept so well Sat night, and then extra well last night!
20. And had – a sort of extra CLARITY today.
21. And that I will do it more too.
22. That in this moment I am okay
23. This good herbal tea that I’m drinking right now
24. My principal likes me
25. My assistant princ. believes in me
26. M’s love
27. My mother and I having great closeness and saying I love you and visits lately.
28. My new (and cheap lol) rose quartz bracelet
29. That nice jammy wine I had last night
30. Helpful people
31. People who do their jobs well
32. J. calling to say hi today.
33. I will call him back tomorrow
34. And also take him up on his offers to help
35. Weight watchers
36. That I used to have a boat, with Ji
37. My body serves me
38. Water
39. Coffee
40. Instant coffee too
41. My sweetheart boys – parakeets: )
42. The chirping they do
43. That they seem to have eaten some greens today – yay
44. People who pray for me
45. People for whom I pray
46. Beaches
47. And that my parents took me when we were little
48. And my grandparents too
49. And my Noni would bring the pot of sauce – yes –
50. And boil water
51. And cook pasta (“macaroni” we called it)
52. And even get mussels from the water…
53. Every time I’ve been at a beach
54. A lot with J!
55. And by self
56. Cousins…
57. The salt water
58. And sand
59. And stringing beads on the sand that day at end of worst work year ever, with J, who had picked me up from school on that last day
60. My diamonds
61. And the love with which they were all bought for me
62. J’s beautiful voice on the phone tonight
63. But that piano after helped me
64. That I have that piano in my classroom too
65. That I found my checkbook
66. Pink. I never appreciated it as an adult before.
67. And same with lavender!
68. That I can swallow. I remember when my mom couldn’t
69. That I did all those things yesterday I didn’t feel like doing.
70. Enough money to live
71. And eat
72. And have heat lol
73. Second graders
74. Third graders too
75. Vegetables
76. My eyes
77. My hands
78. Rachmaninoff
79. Chopin
80. Schubert
81. That my birdy boys love when I play piano
82. And when I sing to them
83. And they don’t flap around when I come near, or talk or put hand in
84. That maybe in a week they’ll be able to fly a little outside the cage. . . I’ve just got more research to do and more work with them
85. Class trips to museums and zoo and …
86. That I took a fifth grade to Philly. That was good.
87. That I am a professional in my behavior at work.
88. Honest discussions
89. That friends call me and I call them
90. I MIGHT be able to play THREE pieces in recital, even though timing changed and instead of having 16 weeks to practice, I now have 3 she said! But still : ) (not my piano, but like the one on which i'll play)

From a fb page called, Abuse No More

Abuse No More
Benitta

Some things just won’t work, no matter how badly we wish they would....

Sometimes the match that felt so right just isn’t. Please don’t do more damage to your heart by trying to fix something that has passed its expiration date. It will leave you raw. It is okay to walk away from something that hurts you. It doesn’t require blame or justification. It just requires you to stop fanning the flames. You will find love again, and next time it will feel better. Life isn’t easy. Some things build us up and some tear us down. Our hearts expand and break and rebuild, repeatedly. We are constantly learning and changing and growing. If in love you find yourself in a sticky situation like I was, please stop picking at scabs. Nothing good has ever come from this. Stop the cycle, and let your heart heal so you can find pure love. Surround yourself with loving relationships. Something beautiful is out there waiting for you. If you feel it on the inside, you’ll find it out there.

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. That I am alive.
2. That I went to the Health Fair yesterday
3. That I let L. take me. As a friend.
4. And I slept so well.
5. The crystals I bought. I have always wanted some.
6. The woman to whom I went. Because at the other booths, I did NOT have a good feeling.
7. Her belief that it’s about connecting to your stone.
8. and the young man’s word discernment
9. Breath. My breath is good. Has been lately.
10. Safe drive out here and then to Jersey and then back
11. Taking mother shopping today.
12. And getting some veggies for me
13. And will share with the birdies!
14. And some fruits too – but no avocado – that’s poisonous to them!
15. And to share with the birdies!
16. Singing “Morning Has Broken” to them the other day
17. Singing “Over the Rainbow” to them too
18. And reading to them from the healthy things
19. And that since I took them into my life and my home last Sunday, they are seeming to feel better about me already.
20. My body parts. All of them.
21. I HAVE 10 toes
22. I HAVE 10 fingers
23. I HAVE female parts (those not removed by hysterectomy)
24. I HAVE 2 eyes each of which have some vision
25. I HAVE 2 ears, both of which hear
26. I HAVE 2 kidneys, which work
27. I HAVE a liver, which works
28. And a clean bloodstream
29. And good lungs
30. And a liver that works
31. And a stomach
32. And esophagus. I remember when my mother couldn’t swallow. That is a big deal that I can swallow
33. I can taste food.
34. Britain. I was in London. And Bath. And Berkshire
35. I was in Windsor Castle
36. When the queen was in residence
37. And I was in Kensington Palace
38. And I saw Buckingham Palace
39. And I shopped at Harrod’s and bought nighty and robe
40. I slept so well last night.
41. And the room was more humid because he had the humidifier on (I had to sleep here for driving purposes – it was just as a friend
42. And the Biomat felt so good to me
43. Indoor heat
44. Hope
45. Indoor plumbing
46. Coffee this morning
47. Garbage collection
48. Recycling collection (maybe soon I’ll get to remember it every time)
49. I am grateful for everyone who looks here
50. And that my birds can be lieft for 24 hours. I would NOT leave them for more! Plus they have 2 foods and 2 waters and I have the hanging ones with the release method too.
51. The joy Summer and Jewel bring me. Each.
52. The joy I hope to bring them!
53. Their beautiful chirping!!
54. That I don’t have Crohn’s
55. Or IBS
56. Or alopecia
57. Or cancer
58. I have healthy hair
59. And nails
60. I can walk! That is great!
61. Cameras
62. Cameras in cell phones
63. Sunlight
64. The ways I was informed about possible crystal cleansing.
65. That I didn’t go overboard on them!
66. The store upstate where I may go one time, where they work: )
67. This robe that I’m wearing today, right now
68. Peanut butter. Yup
69. WW. Yup.
70. Ww online
71. The phone app too
72. And the phone app into which you can scan bar codes.
73. Mostly though, all the foods I eat that do NOT HAVE bar codes! (fresh, real, whole foods)
74. A fresh start with counting points for the week, starting today.
75. And that I think I’ll plan the week out in advance. That worked for me in the past.
76. Those lumurs I saw in around Sept. And she was pregnant. And he was being so protective… Nice
77. Good healthy wholesome fb posts
78. That I will NOT fool around with A even online anymore.
79. And I have made that clear
80. L’s arm around me in bed this am. I just liked feeling the touch
81. That I could afford the bit I spent yesterday.
82. Being in seminar with George Norrie (host of Coast to Coast, which maybe I’ve heard for a totally of 40 minutes in my life, but it was a good, interesting, and fun 2 hours: )
83. These students. Oh, thank God for them. Makes it easier to go in each day!
84. That at this age I WANT to GIVE. When in 20’s, was really more interested in taking. So afraid. So insecure. So worried about me me me. And now, I LOVE giving back.
85. Also, that that is NORMAL. So in that way I am NORMAL.
86. That I have a little house, a home
87. That maybe this spring – summer I will get it in order! Get the things done that need doing.
88. That I am not so selfish. Perhaps TOO naïve. But better than overly selfish and fearful
89. That maybe I WILL talk to principal about 2nd vs 3rd grade.
90. Every kid I’ve ever been able to help. That I have been able
91. Doggie. Even though she’s with J now
92. Hearing from former OA sponsor yesterday.
93. That I have never committed a crime (since teen, when I stole)
94. That when as teen I did steal, I got caught. That was good for me.
95. That I want to fall in love. Mature good love. Sometime. Not yet
96. That I am not desperate to at all.
97. That I have a week off soon. I do really need it.
98. That my conferences have gone well.
99. That A apologized
100. I have healthy skin.

My 100 Grats Today

I am grateful:

1. London
2. Today’s drive in here to the university
3. No J
4. No colleague
5. No nervosns alth confsd and lost
6. Differ pkg lot
7. Mapqueast
8. Walking
9. Sandwich
10. Lunch out
11. Dinner plans
12. Maybe will find way even to favorite rest., which is ina very questionable neighborhood and I have never been there alone! But may do it, and get my favorite foods
13. Can get on fb here
14. Am chatting with A now.
15. Birds in front of cage yesterday
16. And chirping so much more now
17. Last night I talked to them (of course)
18. And played piano for them (of course)
19. And read to them (of course, a little)
20. And sang to them. A LOT.
21. And they seemed to really like it!
22. ***Here I am - in no way living the life I always thought I wanted - needed: NOt married, in very small house, it needs work, I have to work hard to support myself, I have weight to lose, I am not in a relationship, I have some eye issues, my mother stuff, lawyer stuff, money stuff, ... And happy. Fine. How did that happen? So wonderful. Wow.
23. Fb
24. This comfy room at the university today. It is usually elsewhere, in a very hot room with old rickety uncomfortable chairs
25. Fish
26. Birds
27. Squirrels
28. My trees
29. Oak floors (red oak, cheaper but still nice)
30. The flight cage
31. The names I picked for birdies: Summer, and Jewel.
32. J. Yes. Really.
33. Gmo free tofu
34. Collards
35. Kale
36. Soup from my favorite place. Caribbean vegetarian (all vegan except one drink has honey. I don’t get that.)
37. Weeknd. I need it
38. Will do mother’s shopping today. That’s good for her and nice of me.
39. Humor
40. Friends
41. Phones
42. Bills getting paid
43. That I can move about freely. I mean drive about
44. And also walk about my house
45. And walk about outside
46. Tood elevator today
47. In old building
48. Alone
49. And wasn’t terrified! (usually take stairs)
50. Lots of walking built in today. I want that
51. And great veggies at home too.
52. Eyesight
53. Tv. Wish didn’t feel grateful for tv, but honestly do
54. Typing
55. This laptop
56. That I brought it with me
57. Parakeets
58. That I did that for myself
59. And for them
60. And got that huge cage home although it was difficult and I got nervous
61. Empowering
62. Flirting
63. That guy at supermarket who called me beautiful a week or so ago
64. Dancing
65. Art
66. Water sculptures
67. Unusual art
68. Contemporary art
69. Kindness to animals
70. People who do not destroy earth
71. People who are trying to turn it around
72. Enough money for food
73. Good sex
74. Good kisses
75. Innocent things
76. Ne pope maybe some peace some healing some anything good
77. My planet, mother earth
78. Meditating with the kiddies (students)
79. Prayer
80. Reiki
81. Meditation
82. Grats
83. All spiritual practices
84. Woods
85. Sterams
86. All the times I have walked with J and with doggie offleash in nature like reservations….
87. Computers
88. Internet
89. Microsoft Word
90. All these modern conveniences. Or – maybe I wish we didn’t have, so more natural, better for planet….
91. That I have been taking good good care of my birds
92. That I got 2, so they have each other, as I am out all day
93. That L is not harassing/bothering me. It is better, healthier, this way.
94. Songs
95. Pieces
96. Piano
97. Chopin
98. That manhattan is pretty near me
99. And that I don’t live in it too
100. That I did drove to the Met by self in Dec.

Birdies

Today while the blossom still clings to the vine.
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine.
A million tomorrows may all pass away.
"Ere I forget all the joy that is mine
Today ____________

I am so happy with my sweet healthy active birdies:)

And no, they don't live huddled on that perch all the time! Don't worry:)

--
Last night they came to front of cage when i came over.
Tonight I spent about 20 minutes, after piano, talking a little, reading a little, and a lot of singing to them. they were looking right at me. And cocked head a little....
They are singing a lot more tonight. So nice!
I *love* them!

Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth... This is the real message of love.

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love — with Franca Filice, Kathy Toohey and Âu Việt Comp.


--

Weird

I am a try-to-be-practicing-Buddhist since 2005.
Not as a religion - neither a deity nor a creation story involved.
As a path.

But I was born into Catholicism
and raised in a Catholic and Jewish - later more Jewish - community.
Have Hindu students and Islam friends.
Protestant friends and relatives
J. and L = atheists.
None of it matters to me, as long as golden rule, which every major religion and family... teaches.

I accept all the beliefs, native from these lands, all those mentioned above,...

But *I'm*
suddenly so interested in what is going on in Catholicism.
Like God is calling me back.
Doesn't have to be Catholicism. In this case just is.

Just "hung up" IMing with A.
Would rather be in den with God's little creatures, the birdies:)
And then go to sleep
with no pressure for online cyber sexies yuck.

Miss L. The one who didn't really exist. The one I used to believe in.
And the one who does exist, as a friend I miss.
But can't go there.
Have been invited to a Seder in same community. SO tempted to go! To be around PEOPLE. But should probably disengage from THOSE people.
Find my OWN people.
I already have M, MA, ML, St, O, (all females) and my mother and my birdies. Exercise class and ww people.
Book club (through work) people. Colleagues. Adored students.
God, Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddha, in spirituality.
J as like helper friend.
Nature, trees, walks, spring coming,
house,...
piano..
birds bear repeating:)
Guess really SHOULD take these few months and redevelop self. Happily. Having fun. Not hibernating suffering.
That's all.
And say goodbye where goodbyes are needed. Like did with L. Like must with A. And S and J and all the others from the L-area in NYC crew.

Pray.
Play piano
Exercise
Play with birdies
See friends
Get outside
Teach like my students' lives depend on it. Because they do (from a poem).
And enjoy the day.

Next year will be a different March 12 than this.
And in between will be fulfilling.

"Don't hold the funeral the day before the funeral. Live this day." Valerie Harper

My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. The inspirational pages on fb
2. Kind people
3. The 1 ½ minute video I just saw where that woman helped the blind man
4. That I got my masters degree i
5. n a seminary
6. in theology/religious education
7. languages
8. my dear birds, bless their hearts
9. The Deepak/Oprah 21-day meditation challenge
10. That although I overslept – and don’t know how (alarm set…?) I got up IN TIME. Phew.
11. That even thought they make me nervous, I CAN handle the parent conferences. I CAN.
12. Summer
13. Jewel
14. That I have been singing to them
15. And reading to them
16. And talking to them
17. And playing piano for them
18. And starting to put my hand in their cage a little
19. That I did the bank stuff today
20. And the woman helped me so much
21. And I feel empowered a little
22. Because yes, every time I step outside of my comfort zone, my comfort zone expands
23. Veganism
24. No candy in the house lol
25. Sweet bird chirping right in my den sometimes
26. I will nap now. Phew
27. Roseanne repeats. I don’t know why; I find them cheerful
28. Protein
29. Veggies
30. Fruits
31. Nuts
32. Grains
33. Water
34. Driving
35. Eyesight
36. Electricity
37. A’s advice
38. L not bothering me. Not calling or anything. Phew.
39. Not having to unfriend any of them. (Except S, but that was weeks ago).
40. Meditating with my kids yesterday
41. And today
42. And that they loved it both days
43. Every kid was into it!
44. Two have taught families and are doing on weekends
45. I was especially awesome to them today
46. My piano
47. Am home safe and sound and can sleep. Right now. (nap). Very very tired. But all is well in my world. Truly
48. Am so excited to get home each day to these beaituful birds
49. That I took my time
50. That they are each healthy
51. And lively
52. But so gentle
53. One is faster (Summer)
54. The other is ESPECIALLY sweet. (Jewel)
55. But both are so nice
56. That they bring me such happiness
57. I do believe birds are much better “pets” for me than dogs.
58. And finally, finally, realize that that is ok.
59. They will be out of that cage a couple of hours a day. As soon as they’re ready and able
60. I believe – thank you BIRDIE! – that they WILL be tame
61. I m already learning lessons from them
62. I was able to teach my kids such cool life things as well as great authentic curriculum today
63. That I can challenge them without harming them. They NEED a challenge. They LOVE to meet it.
64. As do *I *.
65. Afe driving on slippery roads today
66. Fb
67. My blog
68. And it’s getting better
69. Turtles
70. That cats are so pretty.
71. Honest people
72. I am so grateful that I am alive today
73. And that having awakened in a bad place, I was able to turn it around
74. Valerie Harper’s beautiful and wonderful inspiration
75. Good teachers everywhere
76. Bread
77. Kandinsky
78. Lee Krasner
79. Picasso
80. Chopin
81. O.
82. M’s amazing gifts at school for my teaching
83. That I’m able to do Koko with all 4 classes this year.
84. My toes. Yes, really.
85. That I can chew.
86. And swallow.
(I remember when my mother couldn’t)
87. The level of poetry we’re able to get to/through with the children these days
88. Goo games for them like “jacks.”
89. And “Chinese jacks.”
90. And Frisbies
91. And finger puppets
92. And Legos
93. And Lincoln Logs
94. Good movies
95. And good actors
96. Good nurses
97. Who are compassionate
98. Books with a message
99. Movies with a message
100. It may seem low-class, but I love People magazine. And am grateful to be able to have two in the house right now._____________________________________________

I am feeling more empowered a good deal lately, including *today!*

"Every time I step outside my comfort zone, my comfort zone expands."
___________________________________________

Do This - Oprah and Deepak! :) Free.

"Don't meditate alone. Invite your friends." I'm starting this today.



https://www.chopracentermeditation.com/Bestsellers/LandingPage.aspx?BookId=178

Poop on Bird's Head -- and later - solved

Uh oh.
One bird has pooped on the other's head. Because of the way they are perched on their toy.
I don't know what to do as I haven't touched they yet. They've only been here since Sunday at like 2:00. Not even 48 hours.
I don't want to freak them out by reaching in and touching yet. I'm still in the stages of singing to them, talking to them, reading to them, and playing a little light piano for them. And working with food and water so my hand becomes natural to them too.
But poop on his head cannot be good for him.
Oh boy...

not half and hour later:
it has fallen off on its own!:)
yay



I WILL get better at these pictures. Really. I will. lol