Why Some Things Aren't As Bad As They Could Be

I'm a wreck in a way.
Regrets, fears, anger, confusion, more fears, depression, anxiety, more fears, more and more regrets, memories, sadness...

But I know from my past that it could be much worse. So why isn't it? I think there's more, but here's what I can come up with so far. Over the years I've:

*Worked hard and done really well at my job. Although I never wanted a job, that has probably given me purpose, and some degree of self-esteem
*Been fearlessly honest in therapy
*Learned about meditation and mindfulness from Thich Nhat Hahn

And in this past year I've:

*Been blogging here
*Begun eating better, more nutrition, less junk, better taking care of self
*Become closer to other women
*Been working the OA program

And this summer I've:
*Started CoDA regularly
*Made sure to have some fun virtually every day
*Done some exercise
*Made sure I shower every single day
*Bought some clothes and shoes (on sale)
*Made sure to look as good as can pretty much, every single day, including a little makeup (except yesterday and today storm days no makeup)

And this last week I've?
*Begun to accept
*Let go - that's amazing, big, and very freeing
*Started to realize my own strengths
*Realized that if I truly love J., and I do, that I must support what is good for him
*Realized that there is *some* future for me

I hope someone is reading this, who might find some answers for self in it.