But I have actually tried 2 small drinks and aspirin, and finally resorted to 10 mg of aspirin. To try to calm down and take away the pain (I won't take anything else - will just lie down).
I honestly - although I don't want to be disabled and alone - I honestly didn't give a flying shit whether live or die.
And then it hit me -
I have ALWAYS had one passion bigger than all others. Kindness to animals.
It is literally a reason to stay alive.
I will stay alive.
And I WILL make SOME difference to animals.
Educating, or sanctuary work, or when retire, taking in some... Reiki to them... SOMETHING!!!!!!
And THAT - IS - a reason to live.
I have tried to find reasons through others' reasons - L: for music, M: for children. All are noble. I hope you don't think less of me for mine. But in a way I don't care. Because this is noble too. And it is mine and it is true. I wasn't LOOKING for a reason to live. Really I wasn't.
But I HAVE one. And I am so glad that I WILL find a way to help.
And it alone is worth living for.
PS Please don't use palm oil. It is very easy to stay away from it. This is an orangatan suffering as they destroy his habitat for palm oil we don't need!
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