Healing

Ok. So. I have figured something out!
I've had real trouble using my kitchen for the past couple of weeks - because I had the mouse! There was some evidence, and then I saw him once omg. I'm sure it was just the one, just for a short time, and that he's gone now.
But in the meantime, I, being not just grossed out but PHOBIC about rodents, could barely go INTO the kitchen except to check that there was no new evidence after I cleaned the few droppings I'd found.
Which meant - I was bringing food in from out a LOT. Like always! And that was not good for my Fix, or my wallet! I was REALLY freaked! Kept a plate, fork, cup in the DEN and washed every time used!!!!
Now all this time I've been little by little sinking. And feeling like a failure and a loser. And that's cyclical of course...
It wasn't until today that I realized: I was living very abnormally again! By avoiding kitchen and having dishes etc all over d.r. table 'cause still afraid of cabinets, and eating from dish in den... too abnormal and set me off!
And - not as good quality food as when I prep it myself!
So - *little by little* - I am taking back my kitchen. Today I was able to make 2 things, 4 servings each. They are in fridge now.
Have cleaned den, bathroom, l.r., and the "big" bird cage cleaning.
Getting there...
For 2 days was on and off having that horrible thought why live? But it is GONE!
I am so glad I made this connection! 
And of course the greens and other good foods I must eat and exercising...