I am grateful:
1. I woke up today
2. And despite the cold here for all these days, I am not sick.
3. And although I made a *big * mistake regarding the carbon monoxide detector and there *is * a problem, I am alive and well
4. And so is doggie
5. Who is here with me! : )
6. Til noon today
7. I want to go in. That’s a great feeling in itself.
8. But if I cannot, it’s okay.
9. Fresh coffee. I made it and it tastes awful, but the caffeine is the reason.
10. Although it is a real financial hardship, I will manage to get the furnace stuff done that I need. Thank God.
11. I am thinking of doing things *I * need.
12. In *my * time.
13. *Not * to impress J.
14. Had some moments of despair yesterday, but made it through.
15. Had wonderful lunch with OA friends (for a change).
16. Was able to appreciate it/them.
17. Blankets.
18. Doubled.
19. The recurring dream recently about having a baby, and putting the baby down because I had things I *had * to do, like school. And realizing hours and hours later, in an absolute panic, “Oh my God! The baby! Where’s the baby?! Did she eat? Did someone care for her? Did she poop? Is she clean? Is she crying? Is she alive? What have I done? How could I have forgotten to take care of my baby? Oh my God, if only I could go back a few hours…” Panic. And I think the baby, is me. So it’s a good dream.
20. Unless the baby is J and the marriage. Then yuck, sad dream. But even then, I cannot go back, can only learn for future. So good dream. Thank God for dreams.
21. That I feel this morning – capable.
22. That I’m *looking forward * to going to work. Wow.
I might or might not get to, but I’m looking forward.
23. The electric heater.
24. That J brought it up (it’s heavy) for me yesterday.
25. That he has been helping with this heating situation.
26. New starts.
27. MA offering that I can go there and shower and/or sleep!
28. I will probably go there to shower.
29. If not, I also have the option of the gym.
30. OA meeting yesterday. Good. So glad went. For me.
31. And for my treasurer commitment.
32. So, glad did right thing for the commitment. But also glad because the commitment helps me do the right thing.
33. How good typing feels.
34. And that I can do it.
35. And am still doing my hand exercise, so maybe will not need the surgery.
36. CoDA meeting last night.
37. And that O came.
38. And that we had a bite together first.
39. And the adorable, happy 2-year-old who was there. Cheerful for all of us.
40. A day totally off from all commitments Saturday.
41. And hating it, so I learned a lesson.
42. Will probably go to one or even two OA meetings this week during the week.
43. Meeting that adorable shih tzu yesterday.
44. And he may need a home. And there’s a slight chance that home could be mine. Which would mean doggie not alone and I could have her more.
45. That I’m being realistic too. About money, and allergies, and whether should really take that on.
46. Thank God for this. Today’s For Today: “There is no fruit that is not bitter before it is ripe.” Pubilius Syrus
47. “Experience is not acquired without bruises and pain.” I guess I am part of the human race after all.
48. “That’s why I say I am grateful to be a compulsive overeater. Without the disease, I would not know of Overeaters Anonymous and the twelve step program of recovery, which has been called a blueprint for a sane and happy life.
49. “To wish for the rewards of growth without having to go through the growing pains is futile.
50. “Avoidance of pain stops growth cold; and when growth stops, regression is next.
51. “Recovery calls for going through each step, feeling all the feelings and having the patience to wait for results.
52. “For today: I accept with gratitude whatever progress I am making, however small.”
53. That I am not tired this morning. It’s like a miracle.
54. Yesterday’s For Today: “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” Lao-tzu
55. “An OA member who has maintained a weight loss of more than 200 pounds for nearly ten years is the same person who was barely able to walk in the door of her first meeting.
56. “There are a few people around who remember her as she was then – grotesquely obese, wearing a size 52 dress that was bursting at the seams, and unable to sit on any of the chairs in the meeting room
57. “But she took that first step.
58. “She came to the meeting,
59. “got help in dragging a bench to the table where she sat with the others.
60. “She kept right on coming back,
61. “parlaying that single step into a size 3 dress, a 110-pound body
62. “and a brand new life.
63. “For today: Now is the time to begin; tomorrow is too late.”
64. Wow. These are all huge for me today. Nov. 5’s For Today: “In the carriages of the past you can’t go anywhere.” Maxim Gorky
65. “I needd not wallow in the pain of yesterday,
66. “nor shun it out of shame.
67. “The lesson of my past is part of me,
68. “and I use it for greater understanding of myself,
69. “greater empathy for those who still suffer
70. “and as a solid foundation for my recovery.
71. “The past is the sum total of experience that made possible what I have today.
72. “The OA program helps me to keep my past in perspective.
73. “As I practice each of the steps, the guilt, shame and self-pity engendered by defects and wrongdoings are dissipated.
74. “With my amends, I sweep it all away.
75. “I belong to the world today,
76. “and I will be part of its tomorrows.
77. “For today: I have no desire to live in the past; rather, I embrace it and feel joyous about the experiences that brought me to Overeaters Anonymous.
78. Pooping. Finally.
79. Nov 4 For Today: He is not poor that hath not much, but he that craves much.” Thomas Fuller
80. …”The truth is I have what I need.
81. …”Having turned my will and my life over to god as I understand God, I no longer need to agonize over what I eat and how much I weigh.”
82. “In this, as in every area of my life, God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
83. “For today: I accept with gratitude the many blessings that are mine thanks to the OA program.”
84. Nov 3 For Today: “When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.” Confucius
85.
I did not deliberately choose my faults, but neither do I have to be afraid of letting them go.
86. “I can establish what they are (I have many more faults than I am aware of)
87. “by taking steps four and five,
88. “and I can abandon them in steps six and seven.
89. “What would any thinking person give for such simple, direct therapy?
90. “And it doesn’t cost a dime.
91. “Do my faults include any of these: sloth, bad temper, promiscuity, rudeness, dishonest, child abuse, violence?
92. “God, who loves me and wants me to be free, will accept them all.
93. “For today: I need not be afraid to admit anything to God and to another person, under god’s guidance.”
94. Nov 2’s For Today: “Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.” Thomas Paine
95. “Freedom isn’t free; it costs something.
96. “The source of all the blessings I have received needs my support to stay alive and strong.
97. “I support my freedom from compulsive overeating by: - being willing to give up the pleasure as well as the pain of excess food, abstaining no matter what.
98. “ – nurturing my spiritual condition through daily contact with a Power greater than myself, even if it is limited to an expression of thanks.
99. “ – practicing the twelve steps to the best of my ability.
100. “ – taking responsibility for keeping OA alive by attending meetings as a personal commitment and doing service at whatever level it is needed.
101. “ – contributing as much as I can afford toward the cost of carrying the message and maintaining OA services at all levels.
102. “For today: Does the support I give my freedom come close to this checklist?
No comments:
Post a Comment