CoDA Work Today

I woke up and I feel:

bewildered, unhappy, anxious, estranged, exposed, bruised, regretful, defective, shaky, wounded, blue, upset, low, ill, tense, jittery, jilted, abandoned, frightened, envious
AND
humble
AND
sacred, blessed, alive, inspired, healthy

I think it is because:
I ate like crap all weekend
I don't like how J is moving further away emotionally
I'm still cold and have no hot water
But I went to OA and CoDA
And new furnace is coming
And I smell coffee brewing
And there is hope. For *me.*

I acted out codependently:
being too mushy and weak on the phone with J. My OA friend could hear my side and she said so
offering to bring him dinner because he helped with the furnace stuff - she also said that was wrong

Next time I'll do differently:
Lean on my own strength

Thank you, God, for the insights.