oh. my. gosh. i. am

breathless.

met L
he took my breath away.
literally

typing very slowly
breathless

5 1/2 hours together
1st half nice
he's so cute and smart and a gentleman and art-scholarly (we were at museum)
nice

then he kissed me
oh my god
little sweet tender soft-lipped gentle kiss

and later again

later more

and more
and "real" kisses

i never dreampt i could ever have chemistry like this

i'm almost disappointed
because i'm not ready at all for a relationship
or sex
so i'm almost disappointed
almost

this man took my breath away

he is very sensuous and he light hand touches on my back and neck...and wrist...

i wound up standing in front of some of the best art in the world - with my eyes closed

he was as attracted to me as i to him

wow

when he walked me to my drop-off spot, he was standing in the pouring rain and i under an umbrella and we were kissing and he was kissing my mouth and neck -
and i said, this scene is going in my movie

i'm sure he knows he is leaving me breathless

and i am apparently doing the same to him

oh my god

so
what's next - don't know
MUST take it slow
MUST see others
MUST continue growing as self

but wow

just to be able to experience such a thing

i can honestly say this was one of the best days of my life

and
he likes me for me

and
i can honestly say that i am glad i didn't kill myself and miss out on THIS

and i do not care HOW dramatic that sounds. J. may not like that i feel things intensely, but it doesn't matter what J. likes.

wow


wow

I truly wish for anyone reading this, that you have a day as good as i had today. (and i was so scared i almost left and came home before meeting him - literally - and called M before got there and said, shaking, Please tell me that i am good enough because God made me period, and it won't matter what this jerk thinks." And she did.

and then he took my breath away

good night