My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. This, fro today’s Each Day a New Beginning: “I can succeed with my fondest hopes. But I must believe in my potential for success. I will ponder the positive today.” Okay then! 2. That I wrote to Jo today 3. And that L sent me a loving little email 4. And I texted M 5. I am not alone AND it’s nice to GIVE love to people 6. And this from today’s Food for Thought: “If we are living for an event or condition, which is yet to come, we are not completely alive to what is here now.” So true 7. Mindfulness 8. Thich Nhat Hanh 9. And this, wow: “Accepting the here and now is what ensures our sanity and our serenity.” (Also Food for Thought) 10. Tv I wish it didn’t comfort me so. But it does. 11. Coffee. That I can drink it – I remember when I couldn’t – and that it helps my MOOD! 12. And that herbal, organic, naturally caffeine-drink 20 calorie hot coffee-like drink I found at health food store and brewed yesterday! It even has nutrients. I’m so grateful for thata! 13. And it reminds me of Li. And I am so grateful for Li in my life! 14. I just got up and made a cup of that herbal decaf drink, and standing in the nice neat kitchen pouring it, I literally felt “so ok in this exact moment.” Wow what a feeling. 15. That M texted me a loving thing this morning. 16. Carob 17. The shopping list I made, from the cookbook that came with my new Vitamix! 18. That I can AFFORD good, healthy food. 19. That even L had a cup of this drink yesterday. He obsesses about what he puts in his body, but he saw those ingredients and happily had some! 20. That I awakened to/in a neat house this morning. 21. This, from today’s Food for Thought: “Reality is never more than we can manage, with the help of our Higher Power.” 22. And this: “t is our anticipation of the future, which is unreal and dangerous.” 23. And especially this: “May I live today and leave the future to You.” 24. This, from today’s Language of Letting Go: “Wait until the time is right. It is self-defeating to postpone or procrastinate; it is also self-defeating to act too soon, before the time is right.” Especially because I did NOT send that note to L. last night, and I’m so glad I didn’t. 25. “Sometimes, we take action too soon to relieve feelings of discomfort or anxiety about how a situation will turn out.” Yes. I have done this. 26. In recovery, we are learning to be effective. 27. “Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided.” Could this be true? Oh I hope so! Grateful for reading it today. 28. I am grateful for hope. And the sense of hope that I feel now. 29. And that when S and Jo said last night that they want to move across the country soon, and that L should go with them, L said he wouldn’t want to leave me. 30. And that they said I should come. (The whole thing is crazy on like 3 levels, but I’m glad he and they felt that way about me). 31. I am grateful that my butt is still tight. 32. And for music 33. And composers 34. My skin 35. My face 36. My expressive eyes. 37. And that people comment on them: ) 38. The nine followers! 39. Everyone who reads this blog 40. That maybe it helps someone else besides me! 41. The feelings about myself I had last spring. Desirable and feminine and cherished. I had them a bit on my own and then L made me feel it even more! 42. That I am about to practice piano in a little while. 43. This – from today’s Today’s Gift. And I REALLY needed it! “"No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it." Ellen Glastgow” 44. That I am about to practice piano soon: ) 45. That I am off from work today! 46. That I had the courage to write to O and ask about me being there one time while she practices. 47. That we are friends. 48. That I am going to knit and watch some tv today. Yup: ) 49. Hot drinks 50. And water. Fresh clean water. So grateful for that. 51. People who have helped me. 52. People whom I’ve helped 53. John Grey 54. That I am not as desperate as I used to be 55. The very affirming things O said to me yesterday. Like that I am “doing all the right things.” 56. That the things I’m feeling about L are “totally normal.” 57. That I have lost “a lot of weight.” 58. That I DO find the beauty in things “common,” relatively frequently. 59. This, from today’s Touchstones, which I relate to piano!: “Then when the day of competition comes, we can depend on that practice. At a crucial moment there's not time to think about how we will respond. We just do it the way we learned and use our physical ability to carry us through.” 60. That piano has finally become the life affirming thing for me that the serious pianists find it to be. 61. And this part, which I see as true about any program, and about life itself: “In this program we go to our meetings, we work the Steps on a personal level, we develop a relationship with our Higher Power, and we keep in touch with our sponsor. Some days we may wonder if it's worthwhile, but most of the time the process is full and rewarding in itself. We make progress toward the ideal although we never achieve perfection. When the challenges or threats to our sobriety come, we have our conditioning within the program to carry us through.” 62. That there are so many good 12-step programs for people. 63. Ch, who lives up the block, and was a close friend of mine for so long. 64. And how she helped me when J first left, when we were dating. 65. “You must admit your helplessness before your prayer for God will hear help.” For toay’s Twenty Four Hours a Day. I shall try that again, I guess. Two years ago, when I prayed PRONE – EVERY morning, and more than that too, what I wanted did not work out – but – I got stronger so - good DID come of it! 66. And: “Your own need must be recognized before you can ask God for the strength to meet that need. But once that need is recognized, your prayer is heard above all the music of heaven.” 67. This. So beautiful. “It is not theological arguments that solve the problems of the questing soul, but the sincere cry of that soul to God for strength and the certainly of that soul that the cry will be heard and answered.” 68. And the Prayer for the Day. “I pray that I may send my voiceless cry for help out into the void. I pray that I may feel certain that it will be heard somewhere, somehow.” 69. My eyesight 70. My hearing 71. My voice. I remember when I didn’t have it 72. K 73. Reiki 74. My ring 75. And earrings (ring and earrings from K) 76. My embarrassment over past feelings. It helps me grow. 77. Affirmations 78. Affirmation Card online 79. The Internet 80. Comedies 81. Kisses 82. The orgasms L used to give me 83. Maybe again someday? 84. Stars at night 85. The pretty moon, its different looks. 86. I am grateful for this blanket. 87. And for my heated mattress pad 88. For meditation, may I use it more! 89. That my mother finally has the help she needs medically. It’s driving me crazy, having another job to do for it all, but at least she has the help. 90. That I live near Manhattan, and can have access to theater 91. And Carnegie Hall 92. And Lincoln Center 93. And vegan restaurants 94. And so much culture 95. And diversity 96. That I did laundry this weekend 97. And dishes 98. And finally caught up on the straightening 99. And that I got my mother’s box of private papers and money out of there! (With her permission, of course) 100. That I am about to run the one horrible errand I don’t want to do, and then I shall be FREE FOR THE DAY! 101. That L is coming with me to the course this weekend! I’m really looking forward to that! 102. That soon I shall make SURE I have a day TOTALLY free all to myself!