My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. My mother saying last night, “Don’t get sick. It isn’t worth it.” I must hold onto that. 2. My beautiful roses. 3. No matter what is to come of our relationship, L said last night, “I wish I were there to massage your neck.” 4. And my name lovingly 3 x. Like, “Lynn, Lynn, Lynn.” 5. And, “I love you very much.” 6. And that these helped me sleep. 7. This, from today’s For Today: "How shall we expect charity toward others, when we are uncharitable to ourselves?" Sir Thomas Browne 8. And this too: For today: Steps four through nine are a highly effective way to deal with my inability to accept imperfections - my own and others'. 9. And every word of it, really. 10. That I am supposed to have lunch with O tomorrow. 11. And with my “team” Thursday. At least we get along. 12. Wow. It’s like today’s Voices of Recovery was written especially for me, too: “My recovery shouts beyond any doubt that prayer works, and reliance on God works.” 13. And every word of it. 14. I am happy to finally have begun to understand when people say they open one of those books and it is jus what they need at that moment. 15. And although I’m KIND OF a mess, I do have SOME amount of recovery. Phew. Big deep breath just came. Huge. 16. And today’s In This Moment. Wow. 17. And today’s Language of Letting Go too: “Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.” 18. M saying this morning on the phone that I am a “beautiful human being.” 19. And “who does so much” 20. And that J “also had a lot of depression 21. And his own issues – 22. And – way before me 23. And that she is questioning life and her own issues 24. That I am alive. 25. That if I JUST LET GO, I could really enjoy this day. 26. Any day 27. Every day 28. I am grateful that I have a car 29. And that I like it 30. I remember when I didn’t even HAVE a car to get to work! And now it’s an easy, pleasant ride. 31. And when that place turned me down for a loan. That wouldn’t happen now. 32. And how desperate I felt. And I don’t feel quite that way now. 33. Like such a victim. But now I know I am not a victim. 34. That I can see. Physically. 35. And metaphorically. 36. And that I am a better writing teacher than I used to be. 37. That I can hear 38. That I can taste healthy foods. 39. That I can speak. Express myself this way. 40. My heart, pumping away for me. 41. My lungs. That I can breathe 42. My immune system. 43. My legs. That I can walk. 44. My sense of smell. For foods, and flowers especially. 45. That L. loves my scent. 46. My brain. That it works. 47. That I can read. 48. And write. 49. And type. These all add so much to my life. 50. I am mobile. I can walk and drive and go anyplace I want. Even London. 51. And I did. 52. My workplace. 53. That I help educate children. 54. That I have hope. So grateful for hope. 55. That I have this day. Thank you, God. 56. Sunrise. I love that it is light out now. 57. That I have a kitchen. 58. And cooked foods for lunch, that I made Sunday. 59. And I had coffee I’d already made, this morning. 60. And I heated it up in my microwave. 61. And vanilla almond milk. 62. I am grateful for every moment of happiness I have ever had. 63. When I was little and my father used to drive over those huge bumps for us. Whee! 64. The little roller skating I used to do outside every day. 65. Knitting 66. Crocheting 67. My Little Red Spinning Wheell I had when I was little, like 3 – 4 years old! 68. The moon. So pretty. 69. The gorgeous nature pics L. put on my laptop for my changing wallpaper for me. 70. That he means well. 71. Ever kiss I’ve ever had with J. 72. God. God is with me. God is with all of us. 73. Heat in my house. I didn’t have it last year. 74. My refrigerator to keep food from spoiling for me. 75. Organic p. b. I had for breakfast 76. And whole grain spelt toast 77. And an organic banana. Lucky me! 78. Bringing veggies and protein for lunch. 79. And organic grapes! 80. Can have tea at work. 81. I am grateful that I don’t smoke. I used to! : ( 82. Every sexual encounter I’ve enjoyed. 83. Ji. And how good he used to be to me. 84. When I was young and thin and fit and pretty 85. I have good hair 86. I am grateful for flowers. 87. Outside. And for my roses in the l.r. 88. And that they are still looking beautiful. 89. Dancing. 90. And when J and I won that dance contest. 91. The sunsets. So beautiful. 92. And especially when I got to see them over the Pacific Ocean. With J. 93. Beautiful photographs. 94. That I will always do right by J. I’m grateful for that. 95. The good teachers I’ve had. 96. Sadness. I think. So that I can appreciate happiness. 97. Every time I’ve ever helped others. 98. That I’m doing these gratitudes. 99. Fresh air. 100. The smell of basil. 101. The wonderful time L and I had at the botanical gardens Saturday. 102. And that he keeps talking about it.