Have been leaving on computer
at school! But here are today’s.
1.
That every time I
step outside of my comfort zone, it expands.
2.
The person who
first said that in front on me. And Indian (from India) group in my community
had a wonderful Saturday even at our library about self-growth and things. And
I went. It was fabulous. I am grateful for everyone who was there that day.
3.
I may get the
opportunity to play piano in front of the whole school with adults and parents
too (gulp but very grateful and excited)
4.
HUGE – Yesterday –
my principal hugged me.
5.
Twice.
6.
In front of a
colleague.
7.
For being so PROUD
of me! For the way I spoke up at the meeting the day before. We had a big-deal
meeting. An hour and a half with an internationally renowned anti-bullying
specialist. And in this, our second meeting with him, we were concentrating on
US. How WE as a staff do and don’t get along. I was brave! I spoke up a few
times. Clearly. Honestly. But without hurting feelings.
8.
So *I * am proud
of me too.
9.
And there’s more.
She talked of my COURAGE.
10.
And said that
OTHER PEOPLE that morning were speaking of it too!
11.
AND – gulp – this
one’s hard – omg – that – I am so different from when she met me 9 years ago.
How I’ve grown. My PRINCIPAL! I wouldn’t think I’d have shown HER anything!
Same same! Professional. Polite. Quiet. Head down do job. But laughter
yes. Yet she said she sees such a
DIFFERENCE.
12.
And – my reaction
– omg!!!! – my reaction was to sa – to the principal and thi other teacher
(with whom I get along well but we are not friends): “The worst thing that ever
happened to me, J. leaving, was the best thing that ever happened to me. I
EXIST now.” I SAID THAT. I FELT that! Now
that doesn’t mean I still don’t wish to be with him and he would love me,
because I do. But – ONLY if he would love me (since last Tuesday at lunch I
have felt that way). And I HAVE grown much in these four years.
13.
And maybe I’m
normal after all. Because they SAY it takes like 3 – 4 years for most people (but
it is individual you can’t put a number on it) to grieve. And JUST before 34
years it started changing in me.
14.
London. The people
there were SO nice to me!
15.
And that trip did
SO much for me
16.
I went.
17.
Alone.
18.
And LOVED it.
19.
I DID THAT! Plan.
Pay. Get passport. In time.Get to airport. Get to hotel.
20.
Attend Thich Nhat
Hanh retreat daily for 4 days. Sightsee the next ones. Navigated around the
city. Tube and all. Ate at restaurants alone. The Indian food. The best Italian
food I’ve ever had. The pedicure my last night around corner from hotel in
North London. Being able to walk to some things.
21.
Love my tiny hotel
room through the windy stairs up and around and around and up. Slept with
window slightly open and could hear clicky shoes and British accents outside. SLEPT
every night! The fresh air. Never turned on tv once. St. Paul’s Cathedral,
tracing Diana’s steps. The Tower. The city. Walking around it.
22.
And those tour
busses.
23.
Beans on toast
(without the butter) in the mornings with coffee at little local place. Harrod’s.
Buying jammies and robe there. The way they treated me.
24.
Buckingham Palace
The long tour day of 10 ½ hours: Windsor Castle, Bath, and Stonehenge.
Kensington Palace.
25.
That driver who
took me so far for no extra money, to show me the sights due to my own
excitement. And saving me from my own stupidity at the money changing place.
26.
That I wound up
safe when I did another stupid thing which was walk in the dark at like 4 am
alone not knowing neighborhoods, which turned out to e maybe not so great phew.
27.
The Tate Museum.
The Kandinski prints I bought there (even though it turns out that they have
more here – in NY! Lol).
28.
Made it through
plane ride home with no tv! Agreed to front seat by door with condition I would
help others in emergency, but not knowing no tv! Guy next to me on trip to
there, who helped me with new first iPHone airplane mode – I hadn’t even known
what that was.. and with something else I forget what. Nice.
29.
Getting through
the one panic moment on beginning of flight home, with Thich Nhat Hanh’s
technique. And same with second of terror beginning when WAY below ground in
tube station, many levels below.
30.
The white clean
buildings everywhere. My wondering HOW such a city could be so CLEAN ! My finally finding out it was because
“they’d been scrubbing the limestone for 4 months” in preparation for the
Queen’s Jubilee and/or Olympics I forget coming that summer lol.
31.
And since I was
happily in the wonderful beginning time of dating him at that time, I am
grateful that I was driven straight to L’s from the airport upon my return. And
then he drove me home 2 days later. And I had a nice time at the Seder we
visited that night. That week really expanded my comfort zone.
32.
Enough money for
groceries.
33.
That I now shop on
Tuesdays for me and for my mother, as I just found out that it is 5% off for
over 55 on Tuesdays at our supermarket and 10% off at my health food store!
34.
Vermont whole
grain oat bread
35.
Organic ketchup
36.
The 10 dollar a
month gym I pass every day coming home, right near my house. I used to use it.
I think I will again
37.
My eyesight
38.
My eyedrops
39.
My drugstore
delivers
40.
Good doctors
41.
I. Am. Ok.
42.
The breathing game
with the kids every morning 2 minutes
43.
Summer and Jewel.
My little winged angels.
44.
They fly daily now
freely. Yay.
45.
Inspiration of
people who take good care of themselves
46.
That I am waiting
to tell M she hurt me yesterday. Til can do lightly… I know it came from her
insecurity not done on purpose to hurt me
47.
Our “new start” at
school as a staff. Many probably all or almost all are on board.
48.
That I can walk
49.
That I have enough
money for food
50.
Birdsong and
speech. I love it
51.
This, from the
book The Power. That if a glass has only a little water in it, you don’t curse
the water that’s there for not being enough. You add water. Metaphor about life.
52.
Books
53.
I can hear
54.
My hands and arms
work
55.
Laundry indoors in
my home
56.
Dishwasher!
57.
Relationships.
58.
My mother
59.
Hope
60.
MA
61.
3 meals a day
62.
My job
63.
My financial
helper person. Planning for future…
64.
Coffee
65.
tea
66.
water
67.
roof
68.
I know it is
shallow, but I enjoy red carpets
69.
Pretty dresses and
gowns
70.
Smiles
71.
Toothpaste
72.
Toothbrush. Yes really
73.
Shampoo too
74.
A little makeup
75.
I think I am
moving toward more sophisticated and less “fun” in my attire. It wouldn’t
matter which WAY moving, just that I am happy with it
76.
Finally getting
into book we’re reading for book group “The Lowlands.”
77.
Chopin
78.
I played on a
piano on which HE played! Really!
79.
At Victoria
Dreyfus’ house! When I was a teen and visited her!
80.
My mother may come
to my school to visit soon. I hope so!
81.
Concerts I’ve
attended
82.
And plays
83.
And movies
84.
Especially with J.
Yes. Nice.
85.
My dresses I’ve
worn.
86.
And clicky heels
87.
And sneakers too!
88.
Trails
89.
Watching Jewel
play right now!
90.
Fresh organic baby
greens for THEM. THAT is fortunate!
Remember this, my friends: There are
many out there
happier than you who have less than what you have.
happier than you who have less than what you have.
92.
I turned off
notifications from a fb friend who posts very disturbing things. Not becoming
ignorant of the things, but not wanting to see them in my mornings.
93.
That I have been
to beautiful amazing wondrous Niagara Falls
94.
That I have swum
in outdoor heated pool(s?)
95.
What I will
accomplish today
96.
My flu shot. It
was my first ever, and I believe it has helped me to stay healthy this year!
97.
Time to improve my
health!
98.
Walks
99.
My students
100. My aide
101. The script work we’re doing
And the song too: )
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