This very morning - I went through:

woke up scared of going to bank
had coffee
remembered post office not bank
sobbing over J
nervous with writing out mother's bill stuff and my taxes stuff
felt more positive got going
was snowed in
asked for help
re-met man who used to be boy who did stuff for us
cried over J again while that man shoveled - hid it behind glasses
got to post office
made mistake felt worried
got it done
paid too much
done felt so good
then snowed in there!
couldn't figure out what to do
tried everything knew
finally got help
so grateful to those 2 men!
rough ride home with snow issues
but made it
another decision about how to get into driveway
but did it

feelings up down up down up down all around
in one morning

So - here's the thing:
I realize that not everyone suffers over this shit the way I do. But - it is what it is. It just IS.  And yes, my house is messy. But not the worst ever. And the fact is, ***I do not hurt others. And ***I do my best. And ***I am better than I was! By far!
So - I am choosing to accept myself.
To accept.
And to be happy.