Sunday, October 7, 2012

My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am so grateful: 1. JJ 2. EJ 3. Birdie 4. The Emerson quote in today’s For Today: “The first point of courtesy must always be truth.” Ralph Waldo Emerson 5. L and I read the Five Mindfulness Trainings aloud together yesterday. Yay. 6. My “Reiki” ring. (There is no such thing, really, but I think of it that way). 7. That I practiced piano Friday for over 50 minutes. 8. And yesterday for about the same. 9. And contacted O. 10. And she, me. 11. And we were affectionate with each other. 12. And will see each other this week. 13. That I am off tomorrow! Phew. 14. That although for some reason my clothers did not try in any kind of a timely manner, I DID have some kind of (mismatched but who cares) jammies to wear last night. Because it was a little cold: ) 15. That I am sitting here doing my spiritual work this morning. 16. That L is sitting here at same table, doing his math stuff , which interests him so. 17. That I actually have two laptops here. One is my own! And one is school’s that I’m allowed – encouraged even – to take home. 18. That we are sitting at the wrought iron table. It would cost too much to buy now. I know. I looked. It was like 600 dollars for an even smaller, but much more cheaply made one! But this one is from my mother’s house. When I was growing up there, it was out on our front little patio. And in the summer seasons she would have a pot of geraniums on it. And we ate pizza there many a Friday evening, outside in the nice weather. 19. And other times, just sitting out there. 20. Or with lemonade mixed with iced tea. 21. Or me watering the grass with my father. 22. That I am breathless with sweet happy little moans escapting right now as I do this. 23. Znd that although L is such a brilliant person, sitting here watching a powerpoint or something and I can here it and I haven’t a clue about that level of math, IT’S OK THAT I’M HERE IN THE FEELING WAY! 24. Books! Like Alexandra (by Carole Erikson?) which I read years ago, and like the one I’m raeding now for the book course, called Run by Ann Patchett. And how they help me to know that it is ok and right and good to be just exactly ME. For what I am! 25. That I am about to take up my Royal Doultons from downstairs. And find a way/place to enjoy the beautiful things I have and love. Even if I have to rotate. Or build shelves or something. 26. Sitting here right now, in my sunroom. Oh thank God. After all those years – decades – of paying for it and waiting for it – and looking outside the French doors at the earth with the fallen leaves, and the Norway maple tree, and the slate walkway (just pieces of random slate thrown down on the dirt in a curvey “path). It’s all raw and unmanicured but so natural and pretty. And the little stone wall, and even the chain link fence and small concrete “patio.” 27. Today’s In This Moment. 28. From today’s Voices of Recovery: "Every character defect we have today has been useful to us at some point in our lives, and we need to recognize that fact." OA 12 & 12 p. 47. Oh I needed that! Oh, I need to remember that! 29. And this from The Language of Letting Go: I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. 30. Poughkeepsie yesterday. We went to, of all places, Poughkeepsie. 31. On the train. 32. It took two trains and both rides were wonderful. 33. And I read on my Nook for part of one. 34. My Nook! 35. And the feelings it gives me! Feelings I haven’t had except for two periods before. 36. One was in KINDERGARTEN! I used to go outside in front of the little 6 family building in which we lived (which touches my backyard now(!) and ask passersby (oy): “Can you show me how to do the words?” Because my mother and father didn’t know how to teach me how to read. My mother would say not to bother the people. But I was dying to read. Then, they showed me how, in Kindergarten, and I took to it right away. And I “read” 5 books in a week! And my mother and my father, and my uncle, made such a big fuss about it! So now I felt good about myself for it too! Oh, how I loved being able to read. 37. The other was in 4th grade. I have always loved reading (except after my divorce from Ji, when I couldn’t get myself to for a while). But in 4th grade, we bought a house! And I finally had my own room! And it was pink. And had white built-ins all around. Chiffarobe things with a desk in between and shelves…And a built-in shelf all around my bed. And a night light/book light my parents bought for me! And I LOVED reading in bed in there. I loved my frineds, I loved my teacher, I loved my house with the beautiful tree in the backyard, I loved my room. And I loved reading in that bed. Particularly my Girl Schout Handbook, and The Plain Princess by Phyliss McGinley, which my Aunt Rose the teacher – whom I also loved – had given me, and which I read over and over. 38. And now, at long last, never expecting any such thing to happen, I have that same fabulous cozy wonderful safe enjoying feeling when I read on my Nook! I especially love to read it at night in bed, cozy in my soft bed, all snuggled down in my sheet and comforter. 39. At last I am comfy in my own bed. Not so much perfectly physically, as it needs to be fixed, but emotionally. Finally. Finally. 40. And on my own, no less! Thank you, God. 41. Affirmations 42. Feelings Work 43. L LOVED his Shostakovich food thermos! 44. The company is replacing the shirt, which didn’t come. 45. At no charge 46. And refunding half my extra shipping money as ½ of the order didn’t arrive 47. AND – they’ve said, should the original arrive, don’t send it back. Keep it as a way of our apologizing. 48. Lord & Taylor, where my mother used to always shop when we were young. Their service was off the charts. 49. My very very comfy sneakers, which I shall wear today. 50. And that they were like 1/3 sale! 51. I am grateful for some very seemingly “simple” things too. Like people. Including, besides the 3 I’ve already mentioned here today: Li 52. L 53. M 54. MA 55. ML 56. St 57. O 58. My mother 59. Life 60. Breath 61. Vision! 62. Voice 63. Coffee 64. L and me walking to 7-11 this morning. 65. Brisk air during our walk 66. I got pumpkin spice coffee 67. And blueberry coffee 68. And put coconut milk (at home) in both. 69. And am finally awake☺ 70. L is already using his hard eyeglass case I bought him. And really likes it. 71. That I made a nice presentation of the gifts without hurting the earth (all re-used bags, and a made “bow” sort of thing out of leftover paper). 72. Water. Access to plenty of fresh, clean water. I am so grateful for that. 73. That maybe this evening we can light a fire in the fireplace and read together. As boring as that might sound to some people, I’d really like that! 74. My lovely wintery Jane Wooster Scott jigsaw puzzles. 75. I’ll take the rest of the laundry up soon. 76. I finally got rid of that garbage from the backyard! 77. L. coming in and out from outside, through he sunroom. 78. Safe train rides yesterday – all 4 79. Safe taxi rides – all 4 80. Nice time at Vassar, at their great museum 81. The weather today 82. WE might see a movie later 83. Him napping now 84. Plus, that meaning I have some time to myself 85. My hands. And all that they can do. I am so grateful for the way I can type. 86. And that I enjoy it SO MUCH! 87. And that I can cook 88. And hug 89. And play piano 90. And drive 91. And play games 92. And play piano 93. And write 94. And plant 95. And take care of my plants 96. And pet doggie 97. And knit 98. And crochet 99. And do stamped cross-stitch 100. And crewel work

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