Feelings Work

I feel/I think it is because: I feel like shit. Little children have been killed. And innocent adults as well. One of them is the cousin of someone for whom I care very much. How? How could someone - ANYONE - kill children? Kill in an elementary school? Also, scary. Our school is really open - or people would all be virtually "sitting ducks," as that awful expression goes. And still, despite this tremendous tragedy, I feel bad about my own stupid little petty situation. I htink L. is just too ill. Genius, graet teacher, wonderful person who doesn't like to see anyone cry, big heart, helps the innocent, very peace-loving, ...but too EQ deficient and maybe DID and/or asberger's to be able to have a real relationship for time. And I don't WANT to "start over." And even less could I want to be alone! And I'm worried about money. And the house. ANd my weight. And the mess I've made of my life. BUT - I DO feel hopeful!! Next Time I'll Do Differently: Change my habits for real. As i"ve done before. Stay positive. Sleep in the bed! NOT depressed on the den sofa, as for the last 6 nights or so:( 5 Good Things about Me: Um. 1. I teach math 2. I've been patient with al the men I've been with 3. I'm kind-hearted 4. I have a nice smile 5. I do 100 gratitudes virtually every single day