Grats

I am grateful: 1. This quote: “I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring.” 2. And I did that in London! 3. Oh my gosh I love love love and adore this one: “I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention.” 4. JJ! Thank you, JJ! 5. M had a GREAT day today – her first entertaining at her new (single without ex) home. It went great; she conquered a fear; she and all had a GREAT time. Including her little girls. I am so HAPPY for her! For them! 6. I feel okay right now. I don’t know exactly why or how, but I do. Wow. 7. It’s very very late, but I’m grateful that at least I am doing my spiritual work! 8. My vision is getting worse and worse. But if/when need be, I WILL have the surgery. And it should go FINE and WELL. And someone will help me! M, &/or MA, &/or O, &/or L, &/or J, & or my mother and her helper, &/or someone professional. I’ll make it. I’ll be okay. 9. That thought! Wow. What a gift. Thank you, God. 10. My house smells good right now. From the bake I am cooking. It has: Organic fingerling russet potatoes Organic onions Organic(?) garlic Organic pumpkin! (Canned). I’ve never used it before! I’m excited! Organic broccoli Organic spinach Artichoke hearts Celery Panko bread crumbs vegan but flavorred Garlic Parsley Oil Earth Balance Organic whole grain spelt bread, crumbled 4 Gardein “chicken” scallopini pieces. The fake chicken and frozen veggies were all cooked a little before being thrown in. Not the onions, garlic, potatoes, or celery. It is baking for 35 minutes at 350. Then I stir it all up, and I have dinner! And about 7 more meals! 11. And I have literally about 60 other dinners in this house – or ingredients thereof, anyway. It IS overage, yes. But all will stay, and I NEEDED to “stock up” in order to FEEL – what? Secure? Ready for anything? ABLE to feed myself well. . . 12. And I have many lunches (15?) 13. And breakfasts (maybe even 30 or more!) Very very lucky. 14. And water. I am always so grateful for fresh water. I have tap this week, but it’s good as tap goes. Plus, I believe in the concept of “varying our poisons.” 15. Maybe this sort of “breaking up” with L. is good for me. I’m much less dependent right now than I have been lately. 16. Plus, we had really good exchange today. HONEST. Phew. Whole picture. Finally. And we MAY decide to still see each other – but not so intensely! And my doctor approves. So maybe he can stay in my life and I can move on as well. AND TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! 17. My mother looked great today! 18. And I did the banking for her! 19. And her shopping! 20. And mine 21. And her pills 22. I am grateful for the honor of helping her at this stage. 23. And the privilege. 24. And the opportunity too. 25. And oh! For the being ok doing it! Not like 2 ½ years ago when J first left, and I was like, despondent. And almost couldn’t bear the THOUGHT of it! It was SO hard to get through so much less! Oh, thank You, God, for this! 26. M’s calls. 27. And MA’s call 28. Even my little house 29. And work 30. And I have 2 bottles of flavored seltzer. 31. And I’m sitting here right now, enjoying a little glass of red wine. 32. I am feeling like being the brave, dignified woman who handles things with grace again! YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!! 33. L wearing the scarf I made him everywhere he goes. 34. I’m again. And I’m glad to be. Everyone alive is aging… 35. The King of Queens. I enjoy that silly little repeat sitcom. 36. Talking to L. in bed before sleeping. I like doing that. 37. Freedom of speech 38. Freedom to vote 39. Freedom of religion 40. Freedom to choose my occupation 41. My parents paid for college 42. That I don’t drink soda. I haven’t had a sip of regular or diet soda in almost 2 years! 43. That I am a vegan. 44. That I have ENJOYED cooking today 45. “Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will being to get met.” 46. And this: “Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.” 47. Oh, beautiful: “"If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor." Nicholas De Chamfort” 48. The feeling of typing, I love it. 49. And this: “God teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Yet, before we an love anyone, we must believe we are worthy of the same love.” 50. “God doesn’t make junk.” 51. Ji – he was good to me. I am grateful for him. I shall pray for his welfare. Tonight. 52. "The nonrational inspires fun, creativity, a connection with others, and a feeling of reverence.” 53. "The simple beauty of color and form in a stone; the graceful, synchronized movement of a flock of birds; the miracle of understanding and loyalty in a friendship - these are truths beyond our ownership. We can feel these truths. We can be moved and inspired by them. We can never fully know their mysteries.” 54. “…he gut message, which is also here for us.” 55. So the beautiful dinner didn’t pan out. The pumpkin mushed it all up! BUT – I’ll eat it. It’ll still be good. 56. As it’s still cooking, trying to dry out, I just had organic spelt bread and peanut butter. And another with garlic hummus. Good. 57. And I’m full. 58. And just took my pill. 59. And will now do my drops. 60. Emoticons 61. Weebles 62. Web moving clip art 63. My own I invented them myself Picture Walks 64. Chopin 65. Schubert 66. Bach 67. Feltsman 68. Improv 69. Theater 70. Kandinsky 71. Lee Krasner 72. Thih Nhat Hanh 73. Nice emails 74. EJ 75. Birdie 76. YOU 77. My eyedrops 78. That my mother, who needs so many medications, can have them – they don’t react badly on her 79. And with her insurance, they’re affordable 80. Same for me although I only need so few in a year 81. My dr. (shrink) 82. 2 weeks til vaca 83. By summer or at the latest, in summer, I shall go away! 84. That I have a treadmill 85. And WILL figure out a way to get a little DVD player or tv or something in there. 86. I still have (and just re-found) the little transistor radio my parents bought me when I was like 12 years old. 87. That I can knit. 88. God 89. Li 90. All the people who’ve been there for me. 91. Every time I’ve been there for someone else. 92. I am not in a war. 93. I am at peace. 94. I shall sleep tonight. 95. I even have a heated mattress pad! 96. Fresh oranges. And I have some. 97. Glass jars 98. I am grateful that I have hair. I used to have a friend with alopecia and I am grateful that I have hair. 99. And healthy skin. 100. And eyesight.