My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. Water 2. Good conferences so far 3. Maybe museum later. That would be nice. 4. Very nice, honest, soft and gentle talk, me and L, this morning. Honest. 5. And that the truth is, we do care very much for each other 6. And – we have to admit the two big differences. One, is his sense of honestly is different from mine. Maybe because he needs to not feel trapped and to feel like he can have secret little play dates with other women – past girlfriends – in order to feel free or something. I know nothing happens on these. And the other is his loss of libido. Which he thinks is physical and I think is psychological (except for a LITTLE that could be physical, due to age and that’s understandable.) 7. I need to decide – but I GET to decide – whether I want to see another/others. Or not. 8. Some quotes. Including: “A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally.” 9. And “When we abstain, we sometimes fear that we will be overwhelmed with the emotional pain that is no longer buried with food. By turning this distress over to our Higher Power, we are able to survive it and learn from it. I give You the Pain that I cannot handle.” 10. And “Think of the beauty of a sunset or a walk by the river, the fun of playing in a sandbox or swinging on the swings in the park, or in simply taking time to get something done the right way, without hurry.” 11. And “In our deepest sadness about the loss of a love, we may find a more meaningful contact with our Higher Power.” 12. And the thought that: -This happened to me about J.; maybe it can happen now, about L? 13. And this quote too: “Today, I will remember that I have an invincible summer at the deepest part of winter in my life.” 14. I have a job 15. I have food 16. I have a home 17. I have a car 18. I have electricity 19. I have a piano 20. I have lungs that work 21. And a heart that work 22. I can see 23. I can speak 24. I can walk 25. I can hear 26. I have both my hands 27. People so frequently say I have “great hair.” 28. And pretty, warm eyes. 29. I have integrity 30. I am doing my spiritual work today. 31. I had cold white wine last night. 32. And I liked it. 33. And I don’t CARE if someone else thinks, only red wine is good enough. 34. My students love learning. 35. And so sweet 36. And innocent 37. And I let them do play too. 38. That M is on the phone right now. 39. That L called again 40. That I have offered him, and them, help with the friendships. Because I feel so bad that I came into his life and now his friendships are temporarily over. I know I didn’t mean for it to happen, but… 41. Voice 42. Hearing 43. Sense of taste 44. Digestive system working. 45. The Fashion Police. It is such a trashy show, but I enjoy it. 46. Hair color – for the grays – not dye. 47. My washer 48. And dryer (may I use them soon lol) 49. Humor 50. Supermarkets 51. Veggies 52. Fruits 53. Whole grains 54. Lentils 55. That I’m vegan. I’ve had a few slips in over 5 years, but I am a vegan. 56. And I had one near-slip (chewed a bit of fish but didn’t swallow it – spit it out in disgust) when I was a vegetarian for 22 years, but was still a vegetarian too. 57. That I like healthy soup. 58. That vacation days are coming in 3 or 4 weeks 59. A little makeup 60. Armani “Code” perfume 61. Texting 62. Emails 63. That I can drive. I didn’t even have a LICENSE until I was 23 years old! I’m grateful that I an drive 64. Air conditioning (window units) in the summer 65. Heat now 66. Hot water heater 67. Fireplace 68. My one wine glass I have, from my mother and aunt (long story) and it is GORGEOUS! The crystal pattern is called, “Wisteria.” It is very old-fashioned, which I usually don’t like, I prefer modern. But I like it. 69. That I know how to behave professionally. Almost always. 70. That I love French. I am grateful for the sound of that beautiful language. 71. And so many others: Russian, Italian, … 72. My high school friend who used to say, “Cantala” (sp) to her little doggie, and she, the doggie, would sing and sing and sing! 73. My principal I like her. 74. That I have light in my school. It’s not like I work in an underground factory or something. 75. That I have the health I do have. 76. That I have a tv. I wish the wires had not been cut in the d.r. and bedroom, but at least I have my little tv in the den. 77. My side of the sleep number bed seems to working again, anyway 78. EVERY CAREFREE MOMENT I HAVE EVER HAD!! 79. My breasts. I like the way they look. And I like the way they feel (I don’t mean touching them – I mean from the inside – they feel like plump, tight, not saggy womanly breasts on me). 80. Elephants Zebras Today, I will remember that I have an invincible summer at the deepest part of winter in my life. 81. Giraffes 82. Doggie! And I might be with her next weekend! 83. I live near such good museums! 84. That every time I step outside my comfort zone, my comfort zone expands. 85. That J. said starting next week he’ll do my mother’s pills again. 86. God 87. Thich Nhat Hahn 88. His monks and nuns 89. Parks 90. Beaches 91. Movies 92. O 93. MA 94. My mother 95. That I am consistently trying to do the next right thing 96. Painters – artists 97. Sculptors 98. Dancers 99. Composers 100. Musicians 101. Creative people 102. EVERYONE who reads this blog!