My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. In M’s classroom right now. She is teaching about Hanukkah. 2. And that Next week we teach about Christmas 3. *I * should do that one : ) 4. That I did some of the readings this am 5. And that it looks like more people will be here today (reading blog) 6. Legos. They are so good for the kids! 7. And I’m glad that I spent 40 + dollars of my own money last year and bought some basic building blocks legos for the class 8. And that MA called me last night and asked about me 9. But I really wasn’t in the mood to be able to share anything. 10. And then I asked a SPECIFIC about her 11. And she DID need to share. I’m so glad 12. And I supported her 13. And that helped her 14. And that M called me last night to say how much she loved me. Long story short, something was happening in her family that she didn’t like. Plus she couldn’t get any support about it. And she told her mother “That’s why I love Lynn so much. She is so pure. And she always validates me. She hears me.” … And her mother said, “Have you ever told her this? You should call right now and tell her how you feel.” And she did. 15. And L and I had a – friendly I guess – little talk last night 16. And this morning 17. And some emails too. 18. The SMARTBoard 19. This laptop 20. I will chill out (I hope) when I get home tonight. 21. I had BAD dreams last night. Why grateful? Because that means having a little wine doesn’t affect. So I still can. I enjoy (and have a problem and still only have a few glasses a week). 22. Somehow tomorrow I WILL do the things I HAVE TO do. Right? : ) 23. And that I’ve learned, thorough time and age and experience, that NOT EVERYTHING is vitally important! 24. MA sharing with me last night about her therapist in her 20’s, who taught her about not complaining about life and everything, and blaming. But taking RESPONSIBILITY as she’d built her own life and made her own choices. 25. And MY therapist – for just under a year (?) who was unrelenting about my work stuff. I was like, “But I don’t CARE about this stuff – money – clean house – etc. I CARE about emotions.” And he would say things like, “Fine. Get a resume out this week and NEXT WEEK we can talk about your emotions.” Stuff like that. 26. I – gulp – went onto a dating site this morning. Just to see around… sent one brief cute message. Just to know I could… Gulp 27. I am very very disgusted with myself that I actually broke my veganism. But I confessed to L; apparently I needed the confessions, and felt a great relief when I did. 28. AND – he was so light about it – “oh so what? Be easy on self.” 29. And, unlike S, we BOTH felt that it is a slip – I am still a vegan. 30. My amethyst ring that I’m wearing right now 31. And the day in – Alexander’s (!) – at age 14, when I picked it out, with my parents, as my 8th grade (Catholic school) graduation. 32. And how cute I see now that it was, that I actually said, “But is it good ENOUGH? Will I still like it when I am old, like 25?” ! 33. And they giggled and said yes. 34. And that I still do have it (and love it, and wera it) now. 35. My fake ring. That I’m wearing on my right hand. It would be MILLIONS if were real! It is quite 100% fake, of course. But so pretty. I usually haven’t liked fake jewelry. But sometimes I do. This would be like a 4 and a half carat canary diamond, vivid color, flawless, cushion cut, in white gold, with two horizontal baguettes on each side. 36. All the GOOD times with J. 37. The amazing, earth- moving (really!) orgasms L. gave me. 38. This class. They are so good. So nice. 39. And that most of their parents are too 40. And that all the conferences went well. 41. I’ll be off Sunday 42. MA wants to see this weekend 43. And maybe I shall 44. Heard from O yesterday. That’s nice 45. Scotch tape. Not kidding 46. And glue sticks too. 47. And construction paper. 48. Free time. How many people who have lived on this planet have had none at all. I mean, really, my problems ARE problems of the worried well 49. Ribbon 50. Salad 51. Papyrus cards. They are insanely expensive. But now and then I buy one. For L. And even M. 52. In fact, I just sent 3 today. Two to L’s house and 1 to M’s. 53. That my check was deposited yesterday. Paycheck. (I had not one dollar in my wallet and am – for I believe the first time EVER overdrawn on my checking account – by over a thousand dollars! 54. But once I go to the bank tomorrow and transfer money from my mother’s account – to cover HER bills which I’ve been paying and cannot afford nor does she expect me to – I should be ok! 55. Reading. That I do it. 56. And that I teach it. 57. And ALL my kids get SO MUCH better at it 58. And virtually every child I’ve ever taught, who didn’t already, has come to love reading! 59. And math too! 60. I am grateful for every time I played and enjoyed Monopoly. 61. And Scrabble! That one I even love as an adult 62. And all those times at the kitchen table, playing Canasta with my mother 63. Or my mother and G 64. Or my mother and Mary G. 65. And 500 Rummy 66. With Laurie 67. Or my mother… 68. Even J. (Canasta too) 69. And Boggle. 70. And how, as J hates word games, particularly speed ones, except Scrabble probably BECAUSE you can take yor time, he would sometimes as an extra birthday gift or because I didn’t feel well or whatever, play $25,000 Pyramid and Boggle with me, for ME. 71. That I stopped playing Go after B. taught me, because I hated that game! 72. Jumping rope, when I was little 73. I CAN buy myself stuff now. If I’m careful, and give up this to have that, I could have fun stuff 74. I already have some even 75. I just ate half a sandwich (from lunch) of lettuce, tomato, and green olive tampenade on ciabatta bread. The store charges me for a bagel and cream cheese to make this for me. And they change their gloves and wash the knife from the meat stuff too. Nice. 76. It’s Friday. Truly TGIF. 77. I am nervous about upcoming days off for the December break. BUT as I was thinking (and mentioning) yesterday, I can read and knit and play piano and walk and cook and eat well and exercise and veg and chill and even watch tv and see friends and go into the city and even see L if we’re friends… 78. That I gave M the 1 – 2 day fruit and veggie detox plan yesterday. 79. That I have done it and it feels so good! I will post it for anyone who’s interested! 80. Veganism 81. Vegetarianism 82. Every step toward it. Every meat-free Monday anyone does . . . 83. Phones 84. Phone chats with friends 85. My mother yesterday and the day before 86. J still helping her so much (and me) 87. And getting me that printer recently 88. I must clean this weekend. And do laundry. And cook and plan 3 meals a day! And – I’m grateful in advance for the doing of it all. 89. And the – gulp(!) banking, and taking my mother shopping. 90. Lanyards 91. Checkers and chess when I was little 92. Those long walks I used to take with Laurie. 93. And with G. 94. And with J, of course 95. That I am a member of the Botanical Gardens 96. Happy children. 97. Crafts. For me 98. And for children 99. Creativity 100. Music. 101. Birds 102. Birdsong 103. Dolphins and dolphin song 104. Whales and whalesong