I dreamt of parrot. I wonder why. And holding it. And wanting it. So much attraction to birds yesterday.

J has been calling. Being nice. Trying to be helpful...
Part of my - most of me - ok all of me - wanted to believe he is unsure again maybe wishes could get back.
But he talked last night of helping me. And that I will become more independent...
My stomach lurches as I say this even.

And in the dream, the parrot was green - my least favorite parrot color (no offense to anyone!). And I was aware of that. But I wanted th share my life with this parrot. And I said to J, "But - there is a problem.
They live, like 60 years (don't know if that's fact - it was a dream).
And he looked horrified.
And I said, "Yeah."
And was glad - for him - that I'd told him the truth.

?