1. Piano duets.
2. Two-piano pieces
3. I played piano for L yesterday. First time ever. On phone. 1 page of a Rachmaninoff piece. When I play this entire piece through, it leaves me limp. Almost splayed across the piano, so *emotionally * drained. I see, hear, feel it as beautiful. So beautiful. Yet SO sad. Tragic. So I’m walking past the piano with the phone in my hand yesterday, talking with L, and I say, “Listen,” and I sit and play the one page of it. I finish, and he says, “Infinite loss.” Totally nailed it. That was nice.
4. Then he made much of my playing. Beautiful.
5. Then today in an email he asked please would I play piece(s) for him one day.
6. And I said yes. This is all a VERY big deal to me.
7. L. is thinking and talking about wanting to live with me. I won’t! Don’t worry! But it is awfully nice to hear.
8. And I shouldn’t say I won’t. I am learning that I never know what circumstances are going to change. I mean maybe if we’re both old, and not in love with anyone, and still friends, and looking for platonic roommate… and financial and health easier…
9. Heck, I could fall in love with an A. type person and wife could leave and WE wind up together! (NOT A!) I’m just saying.
10. I’m learning that life is change.
11. And that tomorrow is a mystery. Planning, sure, financial, health…. But other than that…
12. And that change is good.
13. And at the very least inevitable.
14. And so is mystery good.
15. And at the very least inevitable.
16. Hope. I still have SOME.
17. That I can put pics into blog now! You an SEE how it’s so important to me!
18. That I can FINALLY size them a little. It takes like five steps but at least I can.
19. Still cannot completely control WHERE they go! Since the new way blogger has, just a few days ago! : ( But I am grateful for blogger.
20. That I am not psychotic. It is very hard to be psychotic. I have known people who are. And, in a way, L. is – at least almost…
21. Fb
22. Chat
23. Email
24. Phone
25. Cell phone
26. Zumba – gulp
27. Weight Watchers!
28. My spirituality. I had it even as a child.
29. My strong legs. Have always had those too.
30. That I am a good listener.
31. And have STARTED to stand UP for myself, appropriately.
32. I love art.
33. I have been to museums.
34. Including in LONDON!
35. Doing research about possibly going to France.
36. Not all alone. Maybe in tour group.
37. Clouds
38. Rainbows. And that I have seen a few irl.
39. Trees
40. Treetops. And all the times I have lain on my back and looked up at and through them.
41. 2 feet
42. 2 legs. Really. These may sound cheap for gratitudes but I mean every one.
43. 2 kidneys. That work.
44. My liver
45. My 2 lungs
46. My heart
47. My two hands
48. My 10 toes
49. My 10 fingers
50. Humor
51. My two eyes. Both ot them.
52. My two ears
53. My timer. I use it a lot
54. And that I found the one at school too.
55. Lamps
56. Electricity
57. My piano
58. The way my fingers work
59. That I have had orgasms in my life. Many
60. And multis
61. Giant ones
62. And some great great great kisses.
63. And love (I think lol)
64. My blog
65. Every person who reads this!!
66. Garbage collection
67. London. London London London.
68. My amazing 9 days there,
69. followed straight from airport by the 2 with L (before I knew he was crazy).
70. I may NOT wind up all alone forever after all.
71. Breath. I am so deeply grateful for my breath. That I have it. That I can breathe on my own.
72. And the breathing of mindfulness meditation too.
73. Beautiful interior design
74. And beautiful gardens
75. And parks
76. And areas of the earth that are still natural. Somewhat at least.
77. Sitcoms. God help me…
78. God
79. Prayer
80. Reiki! And that I understand the depth of it as I do.
81. That I am able to socialize in different groups (despite some shyness!: )
82. My neck
83. My carotid arteries
84. My stomach
85. My intestines
86. My clitoris
87. My vagina
88. My hair on my head
89. My eyelashes
90. My lips
91. My teeth
92. My gums
93. My arms
94. My name
95. My smile
96. My pretty eyes
97. That people comment on both
98. My hips
99. My waist
100. My breasts
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