My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:


1. I am so enormously grateful for my breath! MY BREATHING HAS BEEN NORMAL ALL DAY – for the first time in over 2 months! And almost all of yesterday too. And a few breaths on Saturday.
2. But today – was like – you know the expression, “I never knew he was drunk until he came home sober.” Well it’s like that. I never knew QUITE how bad I was WHEN AT WORK, until today – when I wasn’t. I had gotten USED TO DREADING having to speak at all, even a little sentence, or walk at all, or – anything. But today – I was – I AM – a FUNCTIONAL person. I don’t feel like it’s hard to stay awake at 4:47 pm! I could still DO something if I choose. Omg: I’d forgotten what it was like to be – normal – functiona – healthy. And I am SO GRATEFUL to have that back!
3. The birds are chirping so happily and playing all over the place.
4. I just opened the cage door and sat on sofa.
5. IMMEDIATELY, Jewel started using the little post (like his landing, or his mini front porch). I’m so happy!
6. I have enough food in this house to live for months. Many of us probably do. I’m not talking about great meals and enjoyment, but to live. Yes.
7. And although I like filtered water and even (sorry) bottled water, my city has good tap water
8. And I have that stirrer thing.
9. I always have in the house toilet tissue.
10. Tues 6:25 pm. I am so grateful that the birds are playing so much with their new toys.
11. And that I visited with my mother!
12. And brought her the groceries.
13. And that the good great aide is there!
14. And that my mother, bless her courageous goodness, SPOKE UP FOR HERSELF when that other one verbally abused her. Really it was elder abuse.
15. And got rid of her
16. And this good great one is all over it too.
17. And has already found a new one to replace the bad one for weekend days. Oh. Thank God.
18. They fixed my piano keys that weren’t working, at work! In my classroom!
19. And it turns out, after all these years, all I had to do, was ask.
20. That I HAVE a piano in my classroom!
21. Fireworks
22. I got groceries for ME.
23. I offered to pay for a little old man in front of me. Long story, doesn’t matter, and it wound up not having to happen anyway. But it felt GREAT!
24. AND – the cashier – looked – affected by that. And I’m glad. Maybe she’ll pass something along too…
25. Safe rides
26. The aide bought 2 pair of pants for my mother!
27. One time, I was in Radio Shack with J. That’s a gratitude in itself
28. and i wanted to buy a keyboard for my classroom asthere was no piano for me. And I was willing to spend my own money for this.
29. but they were kind of expensive. they had one cheap one. Itried it. it was soooo bad! I’m grateful that I tried
30. So I said to j, "I can't even justify spending like 89.00 on this. it's SO bad.". And I’m glad I didn’t push it. To spend more than we could really. So he said, I understand.
31. So this STRANGER - this guy who'd been watching said,
to the girl working there, "She needs this one." And points to the expensive one. and says, "And a _____ and a _______ for it" (I forget what - cord ...and she starts taking them down! I'm about to say something ike, What do you think you're doing. and J who is street wise not naive like me, touches my arm like shhhhh, and kind of steps back
32. and just then the guy goes, “and put it on my credit card."
33. I started to cry! So did the girl!
34. J was just smiling!
35. I said to him, How can I thank you?" He said please don't.
36. I said, Why would you do this? he said, My elementary school teachers did so much for me.
37. I said PLEASE. Give me your card. Just let me have the pleasure of sending a proper thank you.
38. He said fine. But tell no one my name..
39. So I took the card.
40. We went home. And J went straight online.
41. Ooohhhhhh! Major guy. Front page NYTIMEs kind of guy
42. and he had said to me before I left: Promise me one thing, If you ever need anything for those kids, you call on me. That's the condition under which i give you my card.
43. Computers, electronics, anything.”
44. I told principal. Who was delighted. But did say – You cannot take more though. Public school…
45. I am grateful that I feed and give water and things to the birds every morning
46. First thing
47. And fresh organic greens
48. And that almost every evening, they come onto my hands and have a treat.
49. I have been hearing from some people from online dating sites.
50. My students. They are special. Sweet. I adore them
51. And they LOVE learning!
52. And ask questions
53. And great questions.
54. And I’ve been GREAT with them this week since better
55. J. All my years with J.
56. The security I do have
57. The great cage I have for the birdies.
58. And that the door has been opened this whole like hour now.
59. M.
60. I can breathe. It is harder at like 5pm after working all day.. And I cough a little in the evening. But I CAN BREATHE! FINALLY!
61. Broccoli today
62. Brown rice
63. Water
64. Coffee
65. My hands
66. Tweets
67. Tomorrow is May!
68. The way the librarian was with my class today
69. That I keep confidences (including one that came up just yesterday)
70. The pocketbook M gave me!
71. Hummus
72. Organic grape tomatoes.
73. My piano
74. My playing
75. My practicing
76. My Kandinski calendar
77. Getting away from people who shouldn’t be in my life.
78. That I can speak
79. That I can walk
80. My forsythia
81. My rhododendrom
82. My azalea
83. My tulips that J planted
84. Freedom
85. I have never been raped
86. Or mutilated
87. That my mother can afford her groceries
88. And that if she couldn’t, I would for her
89. That I am PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY ABLE to work.
90. That I did not send the ugly email to L.
91. That I have never been stabbed
92. That I have never been shot
93. Or bombed
94. That I have compassion
95. That I have honesty.
96. Shoes
97. Socks
98. Underwear
99. Baths
100. Showers
101. Washing machine in my home