So. Time to Take an Honest Look at ....

One year ago vs. now

Do I weight significantly less?
No.

Is my house better?
No.

I need to face that.

And to know the reason.
I think it is because I was still too out-there focused.
Not, despite my fearless self-honestly, not doing the INTERNAL work enough.
BUT - I WAS doing some!
And so at the same time,


Is my fear stronger or weaker?
Weaker!!
Is my happiness stronger or weaker?
Stronger!!
Is my will to live here at all?
Here and strong!
Is my eating real food instead of junk better or worse?
Better!
Is my hope stronger or weaker?
Stronger!
Are my friendships stronger or weaker?
Stronger!
Am I seeing a guy who is not good for me as a bf (as I was at this time last year)?
No!
Am I more or less accepting of life on life's terms?
More!
Am I a better teacher or a worse teacher?
Better! Much!
Am I a better pianist or a worse pianist?
Better! Much!
Am I less lonely, equally lonely, or more lonely?
Less!
Am I alone?
No! I have my birds!
Am I able to care for anyone else?
Yes! My birds
Am I better off or worse off financially?
Better!
Do I like my still-fat body less or more?
More!
Am I less or more healthy?
More!
Am I more obsessive or less obsessive?
Less!
And I more depressed or less?
Less!
Am I more or less convinced that J. was my answer to everything?
Less!
Am I more or less open to whatever comes?
More!
Am I more or less willing to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
More!


Wow!!!!!
I started this as a true confessions.
But it turns out, a lot HAS changed for the BETTER!

And
I shall
just
KEEP GOING!