so then - hoping this really IS my safe place...

I am thinking to just accept who I am
including that I do the best I can
and I have shortcomings

and - maybe the sky's the limit...

I mean, I used to not be able to use a stamp machine!
I was afraid of 7-11.
Etc. etc. etc.
So the fact that I still lose track of the garbage bags is not SUCH a big deal...
M. drives hers to a bin public is not supposed to use so it won't build up!
It is not the biggest deal in the world.

If I can take good care of the birds (and I do)
and eat well
and shower and have a coat etc etc etc
and be great at my job (as I am)
maybe that's enough for now.
For now.
There have been times I couldn't even do the equivalent of all that.

--

Added - prayer:
M. needs health, please Dear God. She has had one scare, and her mother had the cancer. Please let these mammogram and sonogram results be good. For her girls. Her babies need her. Amen.

--

And - she is fine. Phew:) Now prayers of thanks.

--

So the big point above is, to myself to remember that it is not all so bad. *I* am not all so bad. I do the best I can. I am a good person. I am much better than I WAS. And all these THINGS aren't killers. And - I have to o health first:)

--

So now - hours later - I have brought car to shop to be looked at on lift. All is fine. They put air in tires too. They I returned the FOUR items that were bad - to 2 different stores. And got satisfaction. And at one store, when the man said, "The manager is busy. You can wait. It will be about 15 minutes," I answered, politely, "No. I have come a long way and that is not acceptable." And he took care of it immediately!
I - who couldn't buy coffee or stamps.

And - unlike Christmas morning, i feel fine. I am aware that tonight is the anniversary of my engagement to J, that happy happy night full of hope and promise. But I am FINE! M said to me, "I'm so glad I'll be with you tonight. I do wish it could be on a double date though. But I love you and am so glad you're in my life. And really looking forward to sister time tonight with you."  I was able to honestly answer: "I too wish we were with beloved men tonight- but only in a way! Because that WILL happen. And if it had happened last month, we wouldn't have this night together now!"
Growth.
Thank you, God.
I'm being VERY careful with what I put in my mouth. Veggies. Fruits. Not white pasta or white bread.