Sunday, December 2, 2012

Oh Boy. Oh God. Oh God.

Okay. Okay. I'm okay. Right? Right? Oh boy. I miss L. Already. Now bear in mind, he has a sort of a little mental illness (in a way don't we all?) I don't know that I'm comfortable to put it here. But it's the equivalent of say, Disassociative Disorder. Or very severe Asberger's or something. And part of me wants to be more normal, to be with someone more normal. The other part doesn't care. If he could only put me first. Although maybe THAT'S too much to ask. I don't know. I went to the event for M. Sat next to my principal. Took 68 dollars and bought a beautiful pair of Swarovski earrings for myself. It would have cost me 90 for L. to come with me; I'd invited him earlier (weeks ago) but he couldn't...Plus a portion goes to the autism foundation thing... I behaved. Felt like crying. Miss my L. Want to write him. :( So sad. But I'm okay. Right? Right? Need to find MYSELF. Right? Need to be strong. Right? Can do this. Right? Will be ok. Right? Doing the right thing? And I DID drive to the Met yesterday. Right? Oh God, please help us.
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. JJDecember 2, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    You will be better than fine. Getting over the first few weeks will be hard but you owe it to yourself.

    Its true that everyone has *something* but that doesn't mean you should settle for something that hurts. You know what is best and good for you and I think that means keeping your distance while you heal. Soon enough you will be strong enough to perhaps contact him again.

    Let us help you keep your mind on the right path.

    Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  2. LynnDecember 2, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Oh thank you, Dear. Oh thank you. Thank you.
    xo
    xo
    xo

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)