We had a very nice time. Laughing. Etc. But - it didn't feel like a date. It felt like this to me:
he is having a hard time making it in business and wishes he could feel "that way" for me and want me, but just isn't feeling it. :(
I hope I'm wrong.
I am sad.
I'm ok though...
At least I cleaned....
God, why won't you let this work for me/us?
I'm sorry you're sad about last night. Did he say those things, or are you inferring? Sometimes time is your friend and sometimes it is time to let go (boy, that's a lot of 'time' in one sentence!) But you're AMAZING. Eating, exercising, French, piano, etc., etc., etc. You're path is filled with energy and intention, and you're laser focused on self-improvement and contentment. I'm not sure what path J. is on, based on your quotes, but I'm guessing he's not quite as together. Regardless, repeat after me: I. Don't. Need. A. Man. To. Be. Happy. Or. Complete.
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I inferred them. He seemed quite tired and was very nice. And I think I woke him later calling because phone number he sent me for gutter cleaner wouldn't open....
ReplyDeleteBut MUCH more importantly, is all that you are saying here. My path IS filled with energy and intentions and I AM laser focused on self-improvement and contentment!
And - I can't do anything else but be myself. If I am too nervous and that affects J's feelings, or or or or... too fat still... too whatever for HIM - oh well it is who I am.
I am a good person and I am doing the best I can.
He will want me.
Or someone else really good for me will want me.
But most important of all:
I. Don't. Need. A. Man. To. Be. Happy. Or. Complete.
I will believe it fully eventually.
Meantime I will keep saying it.
Thank you SO MUCH.
Love love love to you, Dearest EJ!
I mean to tell you also: These words - your words - "You're path is filled with energy and intention, and you're laser focused on self-improvement and contentment. I'm not sure what path J. is on, based on your quotes, but I'm guessing he's not quite as together." - have helped me so much. Thank you so much, dear EJ!!!!!
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