Aug 27
Yesterday was a wonderful and
an important day.
Count your blessings. Make a
list of ten blessings. Write why
you’re grateful. Reread your list, and at the end of each blessing say thank you, thank you, thank you, and
feel as grateful for that blessing as you can.
I am truly blessed to have my
job, for purposes of my self-esteem!
Because besides helping
others, and besides income, and besides something to do something important,
(and partly BECAUSE of all those things..) it helps my self-esteem. And I need
that.
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am so happy and grateful
for that great lunch date with J
yesterday
Because it was unusual and happy respite on a work
day!
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am truly grateful for the
strong feelings I had about SELF not just J J J yesterday!
Because that is VIATL! And I
HAD it!
Thank you thank you thank you!
With all my heart, thank you
for my health.
Because
without it, all would revolve around that. and with it, all of life, so much more
of life, is possible!
Thank
you thank you thank you!
I am truly blessed to have
smiles. Yes.
Because mine and others’. They
make me FEEL good.
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am so happy and grateful for
my Nook.
Because it relaxes me
So, to read on it in bed at
night!
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am truly grateful for
getting along nicely with people at
work!
Because the truth is, we are
all decent people who mean well and have our own struggles and want to do
what’s right…
I am so glad we can laugh and
smile and work together!
Thank you thank you thank you!
With all my heart, thank you
for new starts!
Because I have:
Pretty classroom I’ve changed
a big
New semester/ school year
New kiddies
FEELINGS of new start toward
the others with whom I work.
New day food etc.
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am so incredibly fortunate
and lucky and grateful for IMs with both L. and A this morning
Because less lonely for me!
Thank you thank you thank you!
I am so incredibly fortunate
and lucky and grateful for the birds seeming happy and singing and swinging
right now.
Because I so SO want them to
be happy!
Thank you thank you thank you!
Thank you thank you thank you!
2. Remember The magic by
counting the blessings of yesterday and writing them down. Ask yourself the
question: What are the good things that
happened yesterday? Scan the surface of yesterday until you feel satisfied
that you’ve remembered and written down all the blessings of the day.
1.
I had a lunch date
with J and am grateful for that.
2.
We had a lovely
time.
3.
Took a little walk
too.
4.
I enjoyed our time
together
5.
And – he did too.
I could tell.
6.
And big – he even
wanted one of us to tell my mother that we went! That is very new in these
YEARS.
7.
But – the big
things are in the feelings that I realized. I WANT to be LOVED. I felt that!
That I don’t just want J. I want to be LOVED.
8.
And that – and
it’s hard now because it is morning of a long hard (!) hot (!) work day and I’m
alone and had terrible pain last night
but I remember feeling that if he doesn’t appreciate and want me someone
will and that’s ok? Something like that.
9.
Loved his sense of humor and brilliance (that
is not hyperbole it is truth). And I miss it which brings me sadness but I
ENJOYED it yesterday! Thank you.
10.
And – in the
morning – I almost threw up. I was retching in the sink. Felt really really
sick. The THOUGHT of the possible feelings of rejection – was basically too
great to bear. My BODY was rejecting it! I was overwrought. And yes, I am
grateful for that!
11.
And that I will
NEVER want to live THAT WAY!
12.
I remembered bad
times and bad things. Feeling like I don’t have it in me to meet another class,
and parents, … so drained. Gaining weight. Falling asleep alone, him in other
room with the tv, Him never being satisfied with anything…
13.
And I realized
too, that ALWAYS “J. cleans up well,” so to speak. So he can give the
APPEARANCE of – perfect guy! Gorgeous and when in crisp clean clothes, with his
intelligence and unassuming smile and way of speech, he really COMES ACROSS
like the guy anyone would want! Reasonable, brilliant, funy, handsome,
together…. But that is how he COMES ACROSS. Always was able. It DROVE ME CRAZY
when a therapist would see this after *I * seen what *I * seen…. ! So the gratitude is the realizing that how he
is coming across, even to me right now, is not the whole picture. The gratitude
is in that realization.
Thank you thank you thank you!
Thank you thank you thank you!
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