CoDA Work Today

Thank you, God, for this new day. Really.

I woke up and I feel:
Scared, wiped out, getting sic, worried, sooo tired, depressed
AND
Humble
AND
hopeful

I think it is because:
Phone rang at 11 pm; I was asleep; it was my mother; she said her first name when I asked who it was. 1. Hard for me to get back to sleep. Wound up on the sofa all night. 2. Loneliness loomed. Worries about her.
Too much loss.
Still no heat and no hot water.
But had some good moments yesterday, including good eye dr. visit yay, and some good moments with students and with colleagues and good food and drives.
Also concentrating on "Don't judge it; just do it." So here I am.

I acted out co-dependently:
eating extra at night when couldn't sleep
Next time I'll do differently:
I don't really know. Pray? Meditate? Read? Take prescribed pill?
And try to do the pm CoDA work too. Hard to, because particularly don't want to do the resentments stuff and bring it up.
Oh - and should do some Step Two work. Maybe every day.

Glad that when obsessing in car, was able to do what CoDa sponsor had suggested: Tell self, Oh, but right now, I'm driving and I'm fine and this is for/about me.