My 100 Grat

I am grateful:

1. Waking up in a good place yesterday
2. And in a clean house!
3. K called. That was nice.
4. She was taking a walk (she lives about 2 blocks away). Invited me to join. Nice.
5. I wanted a really lazy but happy day for once, plus it was my first whole day in a clean house, and said no thanks but did she want to stop in for tea.
6. She came.
7. I was able to let her in. I haven’t let anyone in in like a year!
8. She noticed my fancy tea cups and Royal Doulton figurine in the breakfront and loved them.
9. So I served her blooming tea
10. In the fancy teacups.
11. With crystal plates.
12. These things are from my mother. I do not have money. But K. has less than I. So I showed her my hobby cabinet, as she has recently says she wants to buy some art pencils…
13. And I offered to share from it with her.
14. And I meant it.
15. And she was thrilled.
16. Then we looked online for a Christian bookstore to go to, to buy some books to help us “study.” I have a Masters Degree in Theology and do not want scholarship type stuff. We both want heart type stuff. Just a little guidance.
17. And she said she’d love to come and do that with me
18. We didn’t find a store except one far away, but we’ll either go there one day, or we’ll buy online together and do this. Yay.
19. She also offered to do some CoDA step work together.
20. And I was able to say no.
21. And without hurting her.
22. Because I really wanted a free day with no work.
23. Oh, and she loves doggie.
24. So, then we walked to the corner together. She met her mother and daughter who were at the nail salon. And I went in. I gave myself a spa treatment. Parafin hands (no polish – short piano nails), pedicure, *and * a massage! This is incredible luxury.
25. And I’m aware it is. I relaxed and enjoyed the whole time.
26. It was cheaper than I’d expected (Monday prices).
27. And I walked out of there like a melted candle. I mean, I must have looked drunk. I was *so * relaxed. And *so * grateful for the experience.
28. Now J did call later, and that was uncomfortable for me, but it could have been much worse.
29. And I have to bring back doggie today (for her sake – he and I are both very nice about it but this is best for her). But I’m so appreciate for the days I’ve had with her.
30. Plus I’ll get her back Fri eve, I expect.
31. And – I’m gonna try and do another spa thing during Feb vaca or for my b’day in March or in June for end of school year.
32. I’m grateful for things to look forward to.
33. I have healthy foods all ready for today (and this whole week).
34. I think I will start telling people at work now, about the situation/separation.
35. I slept last night. Weird weird dreams, but I slept.
36. With doggie too. I love her.
37. I practiced Bach and Reinhold and Chopin yesterday.
38. Then I played a bunch of songs from a big book of loved songs. Like from Broadway etc. Old ones. It was fun.
39. I am grateful, although I would love more days off(!) for getting to go to work today.
40. I appreciate having the job.
41. And I’ll get to see the innocents – the kids.
42. Plus, as the year goes on in gr. 2, it gets less difficult for me as the teacher.
43. And I will *really * teach them. It is beautiful to see them learn
44. And to see them happy
45. And to know I’m doing it
46. Oh – oh – and I get my new aide – who happens to be a personal friend – today! The one causing all the problems – lovely but inept – leaves me and the new one comes. Oh, thank God.
47. My breaths are literally coming about 5 inches deeper than ever before that I can remember. Especially the last couple/few years, they’ve mostly been coming just below throat. And the really deep ones to about bra. But this past week they’ve been coming to like my navel. A lot. Oh, thank God.
48. And I shall do the breathing game with the kids.
49. And teach MA, who has asked me to.
50. And teach her friend R, who has asked her for me to.
51. That I just got the most beautiful e-mail from K. Telling me our impromptu “tea party” felt like a spa day for her. And thanking me for my hospitality. And telling me that “your home is so lovely and peaceful. Very nice.” Wow!
52. And I’ve just sent her the sites so she can buy blooming tea too, because she wants to.
53. Blooming tea. My God, I do have a good life. And many many luxuries.
54. I have fresh apples and oranges in a wooden bowl on the counter.
55. I have cleaned up and put away the things from our “tea date.”
56. I have cuddled doggie a bit.
57. I’m feeling sad about bringing doggie back on way to work this am. But I’ll put that special thing in the mail. That will feel good.
58. And I just sent K. the tea info
59. And a reminder to MA about getting together for the meditation lessons.
60. I am grateful for this practice of the hundred gratitudes a day.
61. I have just put the stuff by the door that I’m taking with me
62. Breathing getting shallow – will be so lonely when get home alone without even doggie – gratitudes – graitudes – I am not in prison.
63. I am not a prisoner of war
64. I am not terminally ill
65. I am not in pain
66. I will feel better once I start driving
67. I will not be alone forever. (Right? Right?)
68. I *can * decide to keep doggie more if I choose to
69. I can start my exercise program today at 4 o’clock
70. OR get my hair cut. Yeah. That’s good. Good.
71. My mother is still alive.
72. I will take her for Thai food within days.
73. Or a milkshake. Whatever she prefers
74. The children love me

75. We will meditate together today.
76. Um. Um. I am grateful that I’m not in an iron lung.
77. And that my house is clean.
78. And tomorrow I get to put out the garbage
79. And the day after, the paper recycling. And those will make it even better.
80. C just called! A person who’s been e-mailing with me. How nice to hear from her for the first time this morning!
81. She lives many states away but we chatted a little. It kind of turned my morning around.
82. And is a reminder to not isolate.
83. I will shower
84. and eat breakfast
85. and call my sponsor
86. and get dressed
87. and put on a little makeup
88. and drive safely
89. And all of that is lucky
90. I am grateful for my spirituality
91. Including in childhood
92. And for toast. Really
93. And all those mornings as a teen when I would get up first, go down to the kitchen (bigger house than I have now!) and make two slices of “very thin” (Arnold or Pepperidge Farm or something) toast and tea and enjoy my breakfast, looking at the paper. That was nice. Especially being alone there but knowing others were in the house too. I always love that feeling.
94. I have earmuffs for today, which promises to be very cold.
95. My stomach feels nervous right now but I know that’s just part of life sometimes. And for teachers, often happens the first day back.
96. And that gives me empathy for those students who are having it too.
97. I am grateful for all empathy
98. And that maybe I’ll hear from S soon
99. And St
100. And O
101. And for this day of life