Sunday, April 20, 2014

The Magic Day 15


The Magic Day 15

I am truly blessed to have my sister’s existence,
because without it, my dear nephew would not exist!
Thank you thank you thank you!

I am so happy and grateful for her having my niece also,
because my niece is a patient and loving and good mother, and without her her two innocent young ones wouldn’t be here. Just as they are. Plus – who knows who will change the world…
Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly grateful for all the clothes and shoes and makeup and food I bought over the last two days!,
because I can feel good about myself. And I can look good every day now. And I worked to earn those things.
Thank you thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for having made nice foods for my mother today,
because she asked me could we stay there, and it was hard for me to hear that but I shopped and cooked and prepared and it is all almost totally ready now. And delicious and healthy.
Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly blessed to have J. in my life right now,
because we are kind to each other and we enjoy some time together and we are both thinking about maybe...
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I never expected THIS anymore. What a miraculous surprise of the Universe!

I am so happy and grateful for You, Jesus,
Because. You suffered and died and rose. For us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord.

I am truly grateful for safety yesterday,
because the traffic was crazy, and yet I was safe. A little extra time spent is not a big deal.
Thank you, thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for this morning’s gratitudes and this whole practice,
because there were some rough spots yesterday. Like a fight with A, and some sister stuff and nephew stuff, and mother ill stuff, and there is all the stuff with the doctor : ( and mother and J and MA and ML and money and house, and so much loss. And I did spend 5 minutes watching pictures a friend who is a 2-G (a child of parents who were holocaust survivors) posted, of children of the holocaust. Oh Lord. It was so painful. So painful. And I did have nightmares. And some nervousness about today. So I awakened a bit nervous… BUT – as I walked to kitchen to brew coffee, I started thinking: Wow! I’m so grateful to have awakened. And to be breathing. And that I CAN walk across the house. And that I HAVE a house. And that I can see. And that I HAVE a coffee maker. And coffee. And birds outside awakened me with their singing, so sweetly. And birds inside are singing too… And it turned it around! My life really IS sprinkled with magic!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for M,
because although she is Jewish, she called me this morning to wish me a Happy Easter. And we chatted about lots. And the she said, “You are really a special person. I love you, Lynn.” And then she said, “I want you to know something. I am working on being a better listener. I know I jump around and I interrupt and I really am working on it.” And she called me Sis. Wow.
Thank you thank you thank you!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for my car and my ability to drive, and the money for car insurance,
because I will get to my mother’s today, and I got to the stores this weekend, and I get to work every day, and I get to fun things like French at the library and beaches and movies and and and...
Thank you thank you thank you!
--
Ok. And I am to list 10 things I’m grateful for in a difficult, problematic, or broken relationship that I want to improve. And it doesn’t matter if this person is currently in my life.
Ok it’s supposed to be the hot coal that is burning my life.
They say think back to the way things were before the relationship deteriorated.
Ok. Here goes.

1. J, I am so grateful for the great sex we always enjoyed together for so long! It brought joy and heat and happiness to us both. It was private and hot and romantic and ours!
Thank you thank you thank you!

2. J, I’m so grateful for you leaving when you did. I have grown so much since then. It has been like being pushed out of the nest. I never would have gone to London alone, or the retreat alone. I never would have been so open to outside things, getting out as much, taking French… I never would have played in the recitals. All of these were good for me. And most of all, I would have stayed a dependent, phobic little wimp! And a burden and a drain.
Thank you thank you thank you!

3. J, I’m so thankful for all the time you apologized when we argued. That was so big of you. You really did put in time trying!
Thank you thank you thank you!

4. J, I am so grateful to you for that year or year and a half when you cooked every night and did really everything around here. You made a beautiful, warm, inviting, lovely and loving home for us. You did it for me I think. Thank you
Thank you thank you thank you!
5. J, I thank you so much for the little and big presents and surprised. The basil parsley tomato garden omg. The socks. The charms. The diamonds. The gold. The postcards. Evita at the dinner theater. My birthday ring. The flowers. The baloney sandwiches and world report tabloid thing hahah! The eggs with ginger ale. Disneyland.
Thank you thank you thank you!

6. J, thank you so much for all the time you spent helping me to pick out a piano. Wow. The time, the place, the energy, the thought, the support. They money. All of it. Thank you so much!
Thank you thank you thank you!

7. J, every time I was sick you were there for me. Even more than I would EVER ask now! Thank you SO MUCH for that!
Thank you thank you thank you!

8. J, you always gave and still give – so much – to my mother. I never forget the image of you holding up her back for 40 minutes at a time in the hospital after her big heart event. And a million other things. The food preps for holidays with her. The pills still. The patience. The driving. All of it. And you used to say, “I do it for you. It is us.
Oh John, thank you thank you thank you!

9. Thank you so much, J, for the walks. All of them. Botanical Gardens. Pound Ridge with Phoebe off leash. Tibbetts. Glen Island. Orchard Beach and the path there. Hunts Woods. Ward Acres. Scout Field and behind. McLean Avenue lol!  All of them. The endless time talking and not talking. The aquaduct. Ahhh.
Thank you thank you thank you!

10. Thank you for swimming with me, Dear John. In the sound at Orchard Beach and Glen Island. In Barbados. In pools indoors and out. (And some special fun we had in a few of those instances oh my ; )  I loved every second of being in the water with you every time. And oh –the time you were driving us along a beautiful road and I said, “Now what is that body of water?” And you said, “That? That’s the Pacific Ocean.” And I had to step in it. We stopped and I walked right in a bit with my dress held up. So much water us together. Thank you
Thank you thank you thank you!

11. They said do 10 but oh thank you, J, for the laughter. The many many times a day for years that we laughed! Funny, dark, absurd, light, all of it!
Thank you for the laughter. Thank you thank you thank you!

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