Improvement in Me

It is time I write some down, to increase my hope. I no longer wake up wishing I had died overnight. This is huge! I am okay at work often. I had a day yesterday, and even sometime this sleepless morning, when I was okay here. Like I own this house and I can use. I never feel that. Well now I have. I am nervous, but accepting. That L and I may have to break up. That J. left for real. THAT I CANNOT GO BACK AND CHANGE THE PAST. THAT I CAN ONLY DO WHAT *I * CAN DO NOW. I, who could not go in elevators or tunnels or things that felt like tunnels. . .have been to London by myself! On a plane! And drive across the bridge, on upper and lower level most weekends! And have been in the real tunnel a few times now! I!