My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. That I made the chili yesterday. 2. Even though he was here. But he was just at the d.r. table doing his own stuff, so I did it: ) 3. And that I asked him to help me take the outdoor furniture in. 4. And that he did. 5. And that after he left, I made the pasta, veggie, protein bake. 6. And that later on, I made the veggie protein casserole. 7. And that I “rented” the movie “The Interpretor” from optimum. 8. And watched it. 9. And enjoyed it. 10. And knitted Mar’s scarf while watching. 11. And then rented Dark Shadows 12. And watched it. 13. Didn’t really like it. 14. But ate dinner and knitted some more. 15. And so I took some care of myself yesterday. 16. I am up since 1:30 am today. Sort of heartsick. But I am grateful for my health. 17. And that this coffee tastes good. 18. I am grateful that I am staring, on paper, (another Microsoft Word document) to put into words my feelings. Because they deserve to be honored. Someone I will share them with him. Without hurting him (at least trying not to). But *being fair to myself. * 19. I am grateful for JJ! 20. And EJ! 21. And Birdie! 22. Free online scrabble blast at wired arcade 23. M wants me to teach her to crochet this week 24. The kisses I used to enjoy with L. 25. My hands 26. My ability to drive 27. I have a load of dishes running now 28. My bed. That I have a bed. I am grateful for that 29. My skin. My healthy skin. 30. My jewelry 31. That my presents made L so happy. 32. That the kids in my class this year are so wonderful 33. Today’s For Today. Nice. 34. The thing I read yesterday about meditating and not judging self when miss, just reminding why want, and then doing immediately. 35. Today’s In This Moment. I needed that. Need that. 36. Today’s The Language of Letting Go. It is so important to me, that I’m repeating it here: Being Honest with Ourselves Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships. When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others. When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met. When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what's important to us, we can relay this to others. When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too. When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others. When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust. When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love. When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love. When we've learned to stand on our own two feet, we're ready to stand next to someone. Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself. 37. OA 38. Weight Watchers 39. Both online 40. Last Christmastime, OA phone meetings 41. Produce 42. The early days with L. I know – it is bad to be feeling that way now, after less than 8 months! But on the positive side, I am grateful for the early days. 43. I am grateful that I did the dishes from last night, this morning 44. I am grateful that I have a load of laundry in right now 45. I am grateful that I just had a healthy breakfast. 46. I am grateful for WholeSoy GMO free soy yogurt 47. And the organic banana 48. And the 6 organic almonds 49. And the second cup of green tea steeping right now. Boy, when I list them out, I really see how fortunate I am! 50. I am grateful that I tracked what I ate and drank this morning, including the coffee with almond milk. 51. I am grateful that since yesterday evening, I feel a little more in control in the good way. 52. I am grateful that I took care of myself yesterday as much as I could. 53. I am grateful for my trees! 54. I am grateful for birds 55. I am grateful for fish 56. I am grateful that I am a member (again) of a beautiful garden. 57. I’m grateful that people at work are generally polite. 58. I’m grateful that the parents of these kids are so wonderful. NOTHING like the past years! 59. I’m grateful that I have a car. I remember when I didn’t. 60. Having the option of what to eat, not whether I can eat. 61. My digestive system. 62. And warm food whenever I want it. 63. That I am not homeless. That is huge. I am sitting in a home, with a blanket around me, temperature controlled, typing this. 64. I am ABLE to pay my mortgage. 65. My dr (shrink) 66. My opthamologist 67. My principal 68. My talents as a teacher 69. Music 70. That I play piano 71. That I’m not exactly oppressed, as women are in some societies today. 72. The mindfulness retreats I’ve been so fortunate to do. With Thich Nhat Hanh! And the last one, by myself in London. 73. That I did that trip. 74. Alone 75. And loved it! So grateful for this. It’s like my life is divided into two parts – before London and since. 76. The times MA, ML, C, and I used to have. Like the time we went out, and then back to MA”s house 77. Good ambulance workers. 78. Good nurses. 79. Good social workers (regarding my mother here) 80. God 81. Prayer 82. Li 83. Dogs! 84. Good movies 85. Health magazines 86. Good books 87. My Nook! 88. This laptop! 89. The amazing breathing in the aquatic plants rain forest room of the botanical gardens 90. The amount of safety I have enjoyed all my life! 91. That I have a second load of laundry in right now. 92. That despite the fact that I’ve been up since 1:30 am (!), at 5:37 I am not exhausted. At least at this point lol. 93. My sense of taste 94. My mind – for the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions 95. “Tiny Buddha” site, which I just found, and from which I got number 94 above. 96. The sun. For bringing light and beauty to this world (also from site). 97. Love. For letting me feel what it means to be truly alive. (site) 98. Kind strangers – for brightening up my days when I least expect it (site) 99. Heartbreaks – for helping me to mature and become a better person. Yes, I am truly grateful for these. (site) 100. My best friends – for being there for me whenever I need them.