Grats - 100 a Day

I am grateful: 1. Ma 2. MA 3. Jo 4. S 5. J 6. O 7. M 8. Wow that’s a lot of good friends who love me 9. And my mother 10. And that she is safe for this day 11. And that it is such a good social worker there. 12. 2 laptops. One of mine of one of school’s. 13. That when my car got burgled, it did not get stolen. Just a little messy inside and maybe 8 – 9 dollars taken. 14. Doggie, and that I may see her soon. 15. Books 16. Nook 17. My fingers 18. That even though I have had a full hysterectomy, removal of uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes (but kept cervix), that I 19. The quote from today’s Language of Letting Go. 20. Oct. 8. I am grateful. Um. Um. For tears so that all the pain does not just sit there festering inside. 21. For L walking me to 7-11 just now 22. That I got coffee 23. For the many kisses of his that I have enjoyed 24. And all those glorious caresses 25. And the orgasms 26. And for my first relationship after J. 27. And the nights when I wasn’t lonely. 28. And the mornings too. 29. Our glorious Sunday mornings. 30. I think I’m going to be grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. 31. And on his behalf, for the lessons he may have learned too. 32. And I’m grateful that I was generous with him. 33. And that I got to eat at Candle 79! 34. And at Blossom. 35. But not at Zen Palette. The place where he betrayed me. 36. I am grateful that I have stood up for myself. 30 years ago I wouldn’t have. It sucks, but I am grateful. 37. And that I have the luxury of a home in which to sit while I feel so crappy today. Some people don’t. 38. On a smaller note – much – I am grateful that I just remembered my Nook charger – which he had in his suitcase. 39. And that I have a piano. Maybe it can help save me. 40. And that I heard from Ma last night. 41. These are from the other day but I didn’t finish this list as I moved to another computer: That I have done dishes today. 42. And some laundry. Phew. 43. That I practiced piano for probably about 50 minutes. 44. And loved it! 45. That I have needlepoint. 46. And crewel work. 47. Now, back to today: That L is sad today. I don’t want him sad, but I’m glad he cares. 48. That I had a VERY long talk with MA. She is SO bright so she really sees things for where they are. And her heart REALLY gets mine. 49. And she was pointing out a lot of very positive things. I am too tired now to go into it all. But it softened my heart. 50. Red wine 51. That I DID talk to L. again 52. That I WILL forgive and forget IF he makes the changes and makes it up to me. 53. That he said, “You know, I love you very much.” 54. I want this to have hope and work out and I guess I’m grateful that at least I knew that. 55. Whole wheat pasta 56. Green beans 57. Gardein “chic scallopini” 58. Facebook. In a way 59. Sleep. I haven’t had nearly enough in like 5 nights, but sleep. 60. Organic whole grain spelt and other grain toast 61. And that L loved it too 62. The support of M 63. And of MA 64. Throw pillows 65. Pillows 66. Red oak floors 67. Sand 68. Water 69. Sofas 70. Wall color 71. Bookshelves 72. All the happy laughters with L. 73. And the kisses. Oh, those kisses. 74. Paintings 75. Nails 76. Pedicures 77. Microwave 78. Backyard 79. L offering to help me put away the outdoor furniture. 80. Desks 81. My first little dog after marriage. That angel. 82. Bowling. The few times I’ve done it. 83. Skee ball. 84. Lamps. 85. My knee does seem to be healing. 86. Medications that are needed, that I do have. 87. S saying, “Do your affirmations.” 88. L. calling me, so lovingly, “My Dear.” 89. Scrabble 90. Online Scrabble 91. Music 92. My little cheap but kind of nice stereo. 93. Hope? 94. Switchplates. Nice ones. 95. And not just contemporary. But fancy too. 96. Firefox 97. Safari 98. Emails 99. Letters 100. God