My 100 Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful: 1. JJ 2. Birdie 3. EJ 4. MA! 5. Ma 6. M 7. O 8. ML 9. St 10. I have a job 11. I will find a way to do what has to be done for my mother’s bill today. It terrifies me all around. But I will. 12. I am grateful that I woke up today. 13. And that I’m grateful for that. I remember when I was so sad that I woke up 14. Coffee. I need some. 15. I am grateful that L called a few times yesterday. 16. And is SO contrite. (I know he does not care for that woman in that way. As MA says, he saw something shiny (free ticket to play) and wanted it. He was 4 years old at that time. Then he spun a web starting with what he saw as a “white lie” and it built and built.) 17. I am so grateful for the words of strength from Birdie, JJ and M 18. And the words of reality from MA 19. And that L still very very much wants to be together and is willing to do a lot to make this up to me. That doesn’t mean he will. And it doesn’t mean I’ll agree to it. But it feels a lot better than if he’d just given up. 20. That I don’t feel as bad as yesterday when I did break up with him. 21. That he said he loves me very much 22. And that he has “never been so comfortable in all manners of being, conversation, interests and all that” 23. Msn . com 24. Weather reports 25. “For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.” From today’s Language of Letting Go. I know it’s a lesson I need to learn from both ends. 26. God answers my prayers. I am able to do the thing for my mother this morning. Thank God. 27. And somehow I will do the others after school today. 28. And I will give those children a good day. 29. And I WILL get sleep tonight. 30. The Today Show. 31. Roseanne repeats. I don’t know why the old early ones make me feel good, but they do. 32. Knitting. 33. The amazing pic-letter I made for L for his birthday. And that he was so thankful for it. And although it cost nothing but paper and ink, *I * felt it was the best of the present. He told me last night how he cherishes it and will cherish it forever… 34. That L just called 35. And said, “My Love.” 36. That M called 37. That I can and will get coffee on the way in. I need it! 38. That I had some nice natural Yogi energy tea. Two cups. 39. That I have clothes. I have to buy some for fall plus check basement, but at least I have clothes. 40. Greeting cards 41. Stamps 42. Holiday season coming 43. Maybe I CAN put up the tree this year 44. Comedies 45. Laughter 46. That I appreciate them now. Am less serioud than say, in my twenties. 47. Ellen DeGeneres 48. And the way she dances 49. And that she is a vegan 50. The way J had proposed to me. What a lovely memory. 51. ***The support of JJ Birdie and EJ here! 52. The “diversion” my time with L has been 53. And the closeness we were able to develop 54. And that maybe it will continue 55. Or not 56. My legs 57. My feet. Legs and feet strong and do so much for me 58. Sneakers. Comfy sneakers. Vegan, comfy sneakers. 59. I can drive 60. I can see 61. I can hear 62. I can speak 63. I can breathe 64. I have water. 65. I cooked last night! 66. And have lots of leftovers 67. And it is healthy 68. And good for weight 69. And delicious 70. That I do not have cancer 71. Or heart disease 72. Or Type II Diabetes 73. That I do not need surgery right now. 74. That I am healthy today. 75. That I WILL enjoy those children. 76. And their innocence 77. And do the things I have to do today 78. And have a healthy dinner. 79. With greens 80. I am so grateful for the restaurant called Strictly Roots, in Manhattan. 81. And the lovely man there, who calls me his friend with the beautiful spirit. 82. And for everyone who has taken nicely to me 83. I am grateful for makeup 84. And that it is ok if I don’t wear any today 85. And that I took a bubble bath the other night. 86. And that it was good 87. Ginger tea 88. Breathe Deep tea (both Yogi teas) 89. Tai chi 90. And the great time I had when I was taking it 91. That I have been safe in all my public transportations 92. That I am able at work 93. That I went to London! 94. And loved it! 95. And did it alone! 96. And sat with Thich Nhat Hanh there! 97. And at the sit-in for peace, in the park, at Trafalgar Square! Omg! 98. That I can and do text 99. That the ones to Jo and S did NOT go through this weekend lol. Really. 100. That they do both still love me very much. 101. And we talked twice yesterday.