PART IV Last Installment

He looked horrified. I went to bathroom. Came out; he was packing. I said, "Stop the drama bullshit. You're not the most comfortable driver. You can't leave in the dark in the rain, late and stressed. Leave tomorrow." Blah blah blah. We wound up talking. He was sincerely horrified and sorry. "Are we really finished?" I said, "L. You made CHOICES. You could have seen that play with me." L: "But this was a free ticket." Me: "It would have been that way too." L: "You would have paid hundreds! I didn't even care about the show!" Me: "You cared enough to lie to me. Either you cared about the show, or you cared about her." L: "I'm just so sorry. My Dear, I'm so sorry." "Why?" L: "I betrayed you." "Yes. You did. And I didn't deserve that." "No. You didn't." "You made CHOICES. To lie to me. To go with her. You KNOW at the very least SHE thought it was a date." . . . Blah blah blah He told me how he felt. How each lie was fear of losing our relationship. How he really fucked up and felt in a web he'd built himself and was losing sleep and didn't know what to do... That he would have told me, like next week. I said why should I believe that? He was so pained. His face. His body. His breathing. We talked. The WAY he said, "Are we really finished?" . . . Gulp. We got over it. We made up. He is truly sorry. I have no question that he's not dating her. My biggest concerns were: * He lied to me. Over and over. And kept up the lie. * Maybe he doesn't care about "living a lie" like I do. I cannot abide it. Cannot! * He has enough money! Was the free ticket that important to him? * Would he have never told me if I'd not have had the evidence? But I believe he was truly afraid of losing me. And that he's learned a lesson. Which he articulated. And I articulated how very important this is to me. We kissed and caressed and are together. As I write this I feel it sounds like I'm a fool. But my heart feels that I'm not. And that we are closer now. Oy. ? . . .