Update, While I'm Also Working on Grats and Readings...

Wowie Zowie. We finally had a long talk last night. I refused to "chat" or see him until I got his truth. He was very sweet and dear. V. had called him days ago to offer him a ticket she couldn't use - orchestra level - big play... he said yes. Then he thought - STUPIDLY - that I'd "be mad" that he was going to a thing without me (which I'd not have been if he'd just told me). So he decided not to tell me. Like a 7-year-old boy afraid of getting in trouble, he didn't think it through - I mean, how would it have been when I just couldn't reach him for the entire night tonight? Anyway, he lied to me about having "absolutely nothing to do" and about "possibly going out with E" (that male friend). ... ... ... So with the information I had, it seemed like he didn't want to see me on his birthday, AND wouldn't tell me why (I'd hinted 3 times) AND THEN wanted to buy a ticket for himself but not me and not even go with me as I had offered shows, told this to best friend/former girlfriend Jo, but not to me, and most certainly has not "earned" the level of closeness he seems to demand - constant phone talks, assumption of every weekend, talk of long term.... After our talk, I see that he doesn't care at all about the date itself so seeing the play tonight doesn't feel to him like he's not seeing me for his birthday, as he's spending the weekend here, is kind of - um - penurious - and has a hard time saying no to the free ticket, acts like a little boy when he's afraid apologizes honestly and warmly when he's wrong can face the uncomfortable discussion (when pushed) when needed, and stick to it throughout will not lie to me again (I'm adamant about this) We are closer now. This is not the love of my life. J. was. And that's okay. It's okay because even though it's not the way I wanted it (J leaving), it is, it just is. A = A. Might as well fact it. And I AM thinking and feeling that I am happy with L. right now. In the day, for the day. And that's right for now. I am very proud of myself! Yay! Because I: Told me truth. Loud and clear and firm and strong but not nasty. Made it clear - and it took 4 tries for him to really get it - that I was neither going to "chat" nor see him, until and unless he gave me his TRUTH about all of this. And I am thrilled because I: actually felt BETTER! Better than I have in weeks! Did NOT want to stop seeing him, and was sad that might, and already missed him and was sad, but that's normal. Felt so much better - relieved - because was TOTALLY true to myself. UNDERSTOOD on the deepest level, that cannot change the other person's feelings or actions, and don't even need to try. Can only be best self and true to self. And that felt so good. And did it without being nasty. Yay me:) And also proud of self because when we had gotten honest, the night before last, when this all came up, he reverted to what definitely sounded like untruths to me. And I said, plainly, "No, L. We are past that now. I will not go back. This is now a no-bullshit zone." And he did respond!