CoDA Work

I woke up and I feel

Angry, frightened, unsure, alone

and
Grateful, Lucky, hopeful, okay, whole

I think it is because:
I feel used by J.
And abandoned

But
i know I am very fortunate. And he is not my Higher Power. And really, in the big picture, I am enjoying the ay and not so worried about future. Living much more int he moment.

I acted out codependently:
Obsessing

Next time I think Ill do differently:
not obsess when O doesn't return calls. It's just something about her.
Not obsess when phone rings twice and I see it is J but then he's not there (he wrote this morning and said his phones' broken)
Not obsess

5 good things about me. uh oh
um

1. I'm learning
2. I'm much more carefree than ever before. At a deeper level. Not depending on someone else for it
3. I am doing what I have to do. Yay me
4. I am able to relax now!
5. My mother thinks I'm good to her. Maybe I am?