Healing

Some of the work this past year has brought me to my knees. Literally on my knees crying and praying. <Especially the husband stuff.>
Some has brought me soft quiet deep-in-the-gut tears like I'm having even typing this out right now. <Growth can hurt! Remember "growing pains" in your limbs where you were a kid?>
Some has been fun, joyful even. <Job, embroidery, piano, French, friends stuff.>
Some has been just plain HARD! <Job>
Some has been hard but also fun and gained me energy and strength and confidence, and has supplied the missing piece in my easily-spiritual but very-very-lazy-physical-up-'til-now life. <Exercise>
The next step for me is much better eating. I am already better. You can't BE part of this group and not be better. But I need to get better still. And I shall!

Great Change Omg So Grateful

Stopped what I'm doing ~right now~ because
am getting house in best order I can
for ME!!!!!!
NOT for him
or anyone else
for ME
First time EVER
So many changes
SO grateful!!!!!!!

Making 2015 the BEST Yet!

Let’s face it: we are all thinking of “New Year, New Start.” I can only tell you that I have never had more strength, energy, and confidence than I have now! Plus I’m down inches and pounds and sizes. And – it is the first year in my life I have not had even a cold!
I started these changes at the end of June and I am really looking forward to what 2015 will be like!
Don’t make this another “start something on Jan 1 and stop 2 weeks later” year! It doesn’t have to be hard making your life better! I am proof of it!

Comment below and together we can make 2015 the best year of your life so far!

 

Make this ~really~ the:

 

Comment here for more info:)

Yesterday

Exercised whole hour!
Did TONS of laundry.
A few other little things
Then got spa pedi - feel more like a woman again....

Day by day, step by step...
A little bit down about holidays but working on positivity and doing ok!
Finished "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed - loved that book.

Remembering this now:

Holding on. Holding on. Holding on.

Blessings to everyone reading this! xo

And So - Here We Go

Starting today, I am off for 15 days.
Yay.

I am in a sort f self-planned boot camp! And excited to be! I have spent days getting set up physically and emotionally for it.
My goals:
1. 3 weeks as pure as can do 21 Day Fix
2. Including reigning in the food more
3. Definitely do the 3 weeks of exercise as in the plan - maybe even a little more
4. Follow a schedule on weekdays in terms of: exercise, foods, house work including the dreaded parts and phone calls, reading for school, beachbody coach work, leisure.
5. Change the schedule for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day -- but do NOT take off from the food or exercise! :)
6. Have some fun with other people! I already have a few things planned. Yay.
7. Do some things I enjoy alone like embroidery and piano (in the scheduled leisure time).
8. Decide and stick to which day go to bank, to gyms to cancel, and to get new eyeglasses.
9. Toward end, buy some new clothes.
10. Meditate 5 minutes every day.

I am nervous but I feel good about all this.
And
Quite honestly, the house things I have been putting off for 5 years - or forever...
And the food things, for decades, til I found 21 Day Fix.

Mainly - go easy on myself.
Love myself.
Take *care* of myself.

PS If *you* need, 2 books that rae helping me a LOT now are:
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
and
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

Overwhelmed But Good

The situation with that family in my class is worse EVERY DAY. Literally. The new superintendent is actually getting involved to try to help. I have never seen anything like it.

Mouse is back. Or a different one. I'm afraid this time he has to go. I don't want to kill but...

House is messy I am exhausted.

Parent conferences going on currently.

I need to retire but can't afford to... I hate going in at this point... Making the best

But I think the BIG POINT is that
I am okay.
When I used to be overwhelmed I was not ok.
Somewhere inside I know I will work all of this out.
I don't like the THINGS I have to do each day to get there! I don't look forward to them. They are not fun. Some are awful! And some are sort of phobic. But now - I believe I will!
So THAT is good...

Onward...

Oh My GOSH! HUGE! I NEED to NEVER FORGET THIS!!!!!

I just came from T.C.
As in Teacher's College
As in Columbia University.
Drove in for the day to attend an all-day lecture by Dr. Timothy Rasinski.
Well guess what?
Dr. Timothy Ransinski - renowned reading specialist for over 40 years I think - has done TREMENDOUS things - I've been using 2 of his big hints since last Oct ('13) when I saw him, and

um

HE
had ME
speak!
At Columbia!
With the mic!
And people clapped!
A lot!

And -
and -
and -
HE
asked ME
to work with him and write an article together!
Omg!!!!!!

I may even get to travel out to Ohio where he works with the kids in the reading clinic I forget what it's even called I'm so excited. On the district's budget no less.

Do you see what this MEANS?????
Do you see what this MEANS???????????

It means 3 things!
1.

I had a great day today. Best since London Mar-Apr 2012.  Had nothing to do with J! Neither did London. *I* am doing and enjoying and PASSIONATE ABOUT things that have NOTHING to do with J!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. about which I am PASSIONATE! ~ that I can do and get a little money for even! Beachbody and something with this - consulting? I don't even know but something!

When I retire - I now have TWO THINGS ~
(Not to mention Reiki and mindfulness and helping animals, which wouldn't be for money...)
Not to mention piano
and embroidery
and reading...
I have INTERESTS!!!!
All mine!
reading and words and animals and thready yarny things since my EARLIEST memories! They are real and they are MINE!

And 3.

This is NOT a person who cannot CLEAN HER HOUSE!
And make PHONE CALLS to get things done!

Omg I am SO GRATEFUL that I didn't kill myself!!!!!!!!!!

Book

Am reading
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Wow!
Am reading it with some beachbody peeps.
Rushing to work - am always working - 14 hour days right now! No breaks!
But will share asap!