Day 3 though many days later

Thurs I found out my mother was very seriously ill
My mommy. I love her so.
Fri my husband moved out
My J. I love him so.

I am heartbroken.
But 3 dear friends have circled their wagons around me.
And I have reached out to oa and to vb.
And to my shrink, who helped me so much on the phone Fri night.

And I know that although this is one of the worst things that could ever happen to me, that because John feels like he feels, it is the way it must be. I must accept it.
And the big point is that I *must* do the very hard work of becoming a complete person.

Damn fuck it.

But at least I won't then have to spend the rest of my life as the desperate partial person, always in desperate fear.

Maybe, just maybe, later it will work out for John and me to have a normal life together too.

God bless us.
God help us.

And I must admit, I do kind of wish someone were reading this:)
Oh well, I'm glad I have the opportunity to write it, anyway.