Yesterday,
bad day - fell hurt foot and broke glasses -
can't exercise and that is bad for me
plus will make it harder when can
WILL dial in the nutrition today (didn't yesterday - caved) - and make the best of it!
they always say it is 80% nutrition and 20% exercise and I basically do the opposite so maybe this is better for me
and got home and saw that the yard guy - who has been mia for 4 months and we've been renegotiating for a month (I have tried to get someone new for a whole month and can't!) not only didn't finish HALF the job, but left HUGE amount of leaves all over the SIDEWALK! He never answers phone - called ME - obvious wanted money - says truck broke down bs bs bs - I screamed - you get over here and undo the damage you did! I will not get a ticket for you! "but lynn--- this that this that --- I said NO! none of that is my concern. I don't care about the past or the future or the broken million promises. You have now done DAMAGE you get the fuck over here and undo it if you have to take a fucking cab and do it with your bare hands and plastic bags!!!! I was livid.
Meanwhile he did call back and say he had come by (in the dark) and removed said leaves and would be here today or tomorrow to do the rest... we'll see. God, I hope so
And, after the horrendous world events for so long now, I said to A, "How could God not help?" And h said, "because there is no god." And I've been feeling that maybe that's true and this is a huge difference for me and a bad feeling about it all. An altered perspective I hate. Still brewing. Horrible difference though.
Meanwhile,
meetings
courses
parent pressures
kids in need
house is a MESS
I am dancing as fast as I can
Literally every classroom teacher with whom I've said hello lately wishes could retire - it is more work now than a person can do and the fun is gone. It is torture trying to keep kids happy when things are being piled on us that we can't even catch our breath. Omg!!!!!
Many of the things are caused by politicians - who know NOTHING about education - and may be trying to please constituents - who know NOTHING about education - OR maybe be trying to help failing school but we were always one of the best districts in the world and being treated like a failing school is DETRIMENTAL to what we DO!!!!!!
Then I have a very unique situation that I believe mine is the only classroom in the world with this situation I'm not kidding. I'm afraid to even put it here. But it is absolutely ridiculous and people far higher up than I are trying to work it out. Every minute of every day is affected! Omg!
And then there is our disgusting ass't superintendent of curriculum who did NOTHING for 10 years while she got her pension from another state and her salary from ours, and now that we have a new superintendent, she's decided she must prove she works, so she has DUMPED all kinds of SHIT on US!!!!!! This is not good for kids and very bad for us which is also not good for kids!
I am barely treading water!
But ----
I am so grateful!!!!! I have started a blog about my 21 Day Fix Journey - email me at lynnblog@hotmail if you want to know the name of the blog. And I will soon be doing a LOT of gratitudes - like that list that will probably come to 600 or something lol. I have done it here too. But in the meantime, I AM aware that I have
life
breath
voice
eyesight
etc
That I am not in an iron lung or a concentration camp
That I am employed and have a roof over my head and friends and birdies and my mother and her aide Ma and we have great visits
That I have compassion and hope
That I have an upcoming date with J
That I am taking some better care of myself
So it is ok.
In the big picture, it is ok
Love to everyone reading this!
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